The Funniest Story Ev. Er.

Okay, so I went out of town last week. That's not the funny part. No, really, stick with me and you'll be horse laughing for days. Well, I was, and I realize that not everyone laughs as much as I do. I do the hyena thing. Seriously. It's not pretty. Well, sometimes...okay, on to the story.

It's my mom. So I was staying with her before my freezing cold jaunt where-I-almost-died-it-was-so-freezing-cold to Yellowstone National Park.

She paints gourds. Don't know what that is? It's basically like this. It's pretty cool; my mom is talented.

And, uh...funny.

So she collects stuff to use in decorating said gourds. Feathers. Pine needles. Even deer antlers. No, I'm not to the funny part yet.

One of the things she uses is porcupine quills. She has bought them on e-bay before. I guess that just shows that you really can buy anything on e-bay.

Anyway, so we're standing in her studio and she's showing me some of her pieces. And she gets out this Altoids tin and opens and proceeds to tell me that she has obtained these porcupine quills and they are au natural. Like she plucked them from the dead carcass of a porcupine herself.

Yup, you read that right. Go ahead. Read it again if you need to. There is the word "carcass" in there.

Now, you might think this sad fellow had perished in the wilderness near her home. Um, not so much. More like it was ran over.

That's right, folks. My dear mother plucked porcupine quills from road kill!

I could not stop laughing.

And it gets better. She didn't just do this once. Oh, no. She got home and "sterilized" the quills she'd taken from the desecrated corpse. I don't know what all that entails, but I could see like, follicles on the tips. Sterilized? I think not.

Anyway, so the second day, she's putzing around her art studio, and she can't stop thinking about the dead porcupine. So she goes back and gets some more quills!

She's insane. And my dad, dear soul that he is, stood guard for her on the highway so she could pluck more quills from the beast! She said it really stunk the second day.

Um, ya think?

By this time, I was doubled over in laughter. She didn't help matters when she shook the Altoids tin with the non-sterilzed quills in it and said, "This is like, $50 worth of quills!" like it's crack or something and she's really saved a lot by kneeling next to road kill with a pair of tweezers and leather gloves.

I'm still laughing as I type this. My mom is crazy. Love her, but yeah.

So seriously, someone somewhere has to work this quirk into a book. Like the crazy cat lady, my mom is the crazy gourd lady and she plucks quills from dead animals on the side of the road. I think I've said I use real people and my observations of real life in my writing. Yeah, I have. Click here if you're so inclined.

What real life situations or stories have you managed to work into a novel? Character quirks? Anything really. Maybe you just have a funny story you wanna share. I need another good laugh.