Yeah, so I went to a conference last weekend. I presented. It was pretty good, but I had to condense 2 hours of stuff into 50 minutes. I didn't get to tell as many jokes or go off on as many tangents. I did keep the picture of Legolas. *swoon*
But this is not a post about THAT.
No. This is about rising above the shlumpy underachiever. Dan Wells (I Am Not A Serial Killer -- go read it, stat) gave a presentation on story structure. I've heard it before, so I just sat back and relaxed.
And you know what? He's pretty funny too! One of the things he said was "shlumpy underachiever."
I LOL'ed. (The poor people next to me.)
So I'm here today to tell you how to avoid becoming a shlumpy underachiever. Some pointers:
1. Take showers. This will eliminate your physical shlumpiness, thus giving the persona of non-shlumpy. Hey, at least pretend, right?
2. Recognize that you have the Force. This will allow you to become Neo ("I am the One.") or Luke ("Use the Force, Luke!") but in your own special way. You might need to pen a motto for yourself. Mine? "Hey, at least I didn't kill anyone."
3. Share your awesome. This will help you realize that there are a lot of other people out there trying to be less shlumpy too. (I'm dishing on why I write YA here. And I'm one of the prizes in a pretty cool contest thingy here. No, I won't come home with you, but we can Skype...)
What are you doing to avoid becoming a shlumpy underachiever? What could you do better? Me? You expect me to confess? Well, all right. I seriously need to get on the treadmill or I'm going to d-i-e when tennis starts in oh, two weeks. Yikes.
I showered. And um...Well, I showered.
ReplyDeleteI need to keep up my exercise routine too. All this sitting at work, writing, and blogging does not burn calories. And I need to pencil in more time every day for writing.
ReplyDeleteFunny post. I actually posted on overachievers this morning. I talk myself to run faster or do more sit-ups--only the neighbors know that I am not well.
ReplyDeleteCertainly, a daiy shower is key. Sometimes two showers are needed, depending.
ReplyDeleteI avoid schlumpiness by doing my best--kinda trite, right? *shrugs* Seems to work. ;)
PS, I totally LOL when no one else does too. Means we have a great sense of humor, right?
Um, exercise, what's that? Seriously though, I need to learn how to become organised so I can manage to do everything all in the course of 1 day... but, keeping extremely busy does help with avoiding the "shlumpy underachiever", I have no time to excel at underachieving at the moment.
ReplyDeleteTo avoid schlumpiness (love that word!) I spend at least fifteen minutes a day outside. This helps prevent that pasty-skinned writer look and it always lifts my spirits too.
ReplyDeleteI go to the gym four days a week to avoid schlumpiness!
ReplyDeleteI love shlumpy too. I would have LOLed with you.
ReplyDeleteI do shower daily, but I really need to work on that treadmill idea.
Have shlumpy-free weekend!
I'm training for the Tour de France. How's that for anti-shlumpy underachiever. But I'm lying so.
ReplyDeleteI'm heading to the gym right now.
ReplyDeleteI must admit I don't miss having to be showered and out the door by 7:15.
Yes, I showered to. And I do need to start walking again. And I think reading more but where do I find the time.
ReplyDeleteYou had me until shower...
ReplyDeleteThanks for advice! Love it, and I love the way you phrase things.
ReplyDeletePerfect reminder, Elana. I need to get butt on elliptical and start with weights. Actually, I need to reassess the balance I have in my life and make sure the levels are good.
ReplyDeleteOkay, first things first-Legolas=HOT!
ReplyDeleteNow that that's taken care of, lol, I need to incorporate some cardio into my day to day life. With all the sitting and typing I do, it's a necessity, not to mention a great stress reliever.
I find the golf season cures any of my shlumpy behavior. I have to accomplish so many words/pages before I can hit the course. Talk about motivation (for fanatics like me)
ReplyDeleteYesterday I exercised and I wrote my hubby a love note. I'm afraid I let writing turn me into a shlumpy underachiever with my personal relationships. This is not a new epiphany, but yesterday I took steps to perk things up.
ReplyDeleteGreat post as always! If I pull together some kind of Amazing Blogosphere scavenger type game, would you be willing to participate? You guys have my imagination going now.
I'm sorry...I got too distracted my Legolas to remember what I was going to say...
ReplyDeleteI do feel schlumpy if I don't exercise and I didn't have time to the first three days this week. Will hit the treadmill and shower. No schlumpiness for me today!
ReplyDeleteI also feel less schlumpy when I have a productive day and check lots of items off my list.
read Elana's blog. Check. See I feel better already!
Hey, i think you should write a book with the same title (as this blog post)
ReplyDeleteI know I'd buy it.
Off to shower!
I just IM'd my better half and said that I need to avoid the computer before getting in the shower because here I am, an hour later, still not showered.
ReplyDeleteOkay, washing off my shlumpyness. Thanks for the kick in the rear!
I'm going to get back on the elliptical machine today and do some sit-ups to banish my schlumpy midsection.
ReplyDeleteI can't come up with an answer because I'm still laughing at the word "schlumpy!"
ReplyDeleteI haven't showered yet . . . but I'm about to exercise. Once I drag myself off the blogs. Any. Minute. Now.
ReplyDeletePS.
Oh, where's the picture of Legolas? I'm in the mood to do some serious swooning and hubby's at work.
My 6-year-old's tennis starts next week and I'll be watching him - does that count as exercise by proxy? Wait, I did shower! Maybe I'm just a plain underachiever rather than a shlumpy one! Happy Friday! :)
ReplyDeleteShlumpy. I love it! My shlumpy self sees schedule sticking-to-it-ness sliding. I need to get back on track with goals and deadlines.
ReplyDeleteShower, check. Force, check (I am Princess Mommy to a Jedi Master, Jedi Knight, and a Padowan after all). Share the awesome . . . doing it now.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with tennis! My current favorite sport.
This week, I subbed gym four times, doing the students' warm ups (well, not the pushups), so that kept me from being an underachiever. But if you look at the attire I'm walking around in (yoga pants or sweats), that's pretty shlumpy. My life is a dichotomy.
ReplyDeleteTake Showers is great advice (probably why it's no. 1). For me? I'm about to scratch out a daily schedule (incl. my writing time), since I'm finishing up my day job and transitioning into summer - aka. no routine. So, your post came at a perfect time!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean "the poor people next to me"? I was laughing too! And as for the tree, well, it doesn't know a good joke when it hears it.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot. I thought about going back to bed for an hour since I stayed up editing half the night, but fine. I'll go to the gym instead. You've convinced me. *grumble grumble*
May the force be with you. No, wait, "By the powers of Grayskull, I have the power!"
I think I love the word "shlumpy"! You are full of awesomesauce today, Elana! :-)
ReplyDeleteNo time to shower? Just light a scented candle in your workspace. Yummy...
ReplyDeleteNote to self: important to lower the shlump factor. Cruised by the contest too. Have a super duper smokin' weekend!
ReplyDeleteOoo, I guess this means I should go change out of my pajamas. (But hey--it's only 9:20 here!) At least I went shopping and have clothes that fit now. My two sizes too baggy jeans were looking pretty darn schlumpy. ;)
ReplyDeleteOoo, I guess this means I should go change out of my pajamas. (But hey--it's only 9:20 here!) At least I went shopping and have clothes that fit now. My two sizes too baggy jeans were looking pretty darn schlumpy. ;)
ReplyDeleteSince I'm a-learnin m'self how to jog, I actually got outside and DID my jog on all the days that I didn't feel like it. And I was TOTALLY gonna go Off Diet and Off Jogging for today - and now I can't, on account of the GUILT from this POST. (lol) SO. TIMELY. IT. HURTS. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI showered! Wait, I do that daily anyway. I finished I Am Not a Serial Killer yesterday. Yes!
ReplyDeleteI worked on the next chapter in my book! And I studied Elana's great wisdom on query letter writing. Stupid second paragraph! Why are you such a huge mountain?
Honestly, at this point in my life, it feels like all I can do is shower. *sigh* Notice how sometimes it's easier to get down to work when you have too little time instead of too much? But my time's running out, I only have... *mental math hurts, uses fingers and toes* three ish months of absolute nothing-to-do-ness left!
ReplyDeleteBut I'm TRYING to not be a shlumpy underachiever! I set my alarm clock EVERY DAY even though I technically have no reason to get up before noon. :)
I showered AND I brushed my teeth. ;)
ReplyDeleteThings are looking up!
I shower. Sometimes twice.
ReplyDeleteSome days schlumpy; some days not so much!
Is there a group for those who LOL? If so, information please. BUT I don't want to change.
I didn't go back to bed when I wanted to, and I'm still awake. (I'm looking forward to no early morning seminary for the summer.)
ReplyDeleteOh, yes! I just went through a schlumpy underachiever phase. Who wants to be around Debby Downer?? No one. That's the correct answer.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I bought new makeup. I'm jogging (it's horrible). And I am actually wearing some of the cute clothes in my closet instead of the same old faded jeans every day.
Call me Neo...
Have a great weekend!
*sniffs underarms and then runs to take a shower*
ReplyDeleteBalance balls are great for stretching out cramped, tight muscles and working your core, but not terribly aerobic.
ReplyDeleteTried a bicycle but there are too many off-leash dogs lurking around my neighborhood. Considering one of those indoor pedal exercisers.
Weren't there once machines that worked your muscles while you slept? ;-)
Val, I'd go buy a scented candle, except I'd have to take a shower to do that. or not;)
ReplyDeleteI have a serious problem here because my hubby has turned into an obnoxious overachiever- training for triathlons- and it's seriously intimidating!
I sooo use the force on my kissy-face...
ReplyDelete*waves hand thru air* "you will cook me dinner while I write."
works everytime :)
I'm trying to read more great blogs like yours.
ReplyDeleteAnd trying not to be too corny.
ReplyDeletePhew, have #1 covered.
ReplyDeleteThe force is strong here, LOL!
Have a GREAT weekend!
Hooray for non-shlumpy, encouraging posts like this one. Thanks for the "at least I didn't kill anyone" motto. :) Some days, I don't rise much above that, but I try to be kind and keep writing, hoping revisions will get less and less shlumpy!
ReplyDeleteI always feel like shlumpy underachiever when I see what needs to be done but am too lazy to do it and just think 'i'll get to it'. There are so many things that I could do to up my game and I haven't even tackled half of them. Shlumpy am I.
ReplyDeleteAwww Can the next post be pictures of Legolas? :)
ReplyDeleteI read bestsellers and compare my writing to them (as much as it makes me cringe!) to keep from shlumpiness.
Eating raw vegan for a while to cleanse and get my metabolism to jumpstart. Its working.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to push myself to do stuff even if I don't feel like it. Laziness is a big enemy of mine and so easy to succumb to.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of, I also need to get exercising. Been saying I would since the New Year. :P
I get my hair done at a salon to keep up the polished look (or sort of one anyway:) It makes me feel more presentable. And I push myself to meet certain goals. Most of the time. lol
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend,
Karen
I have to get on (Satan's) treadmill and run. I've been bad about it lately. My thighs are getting meaty.
ReplyDeleteHate running. It's evil. But, sausage thighs are more evil.
Happy weekend!
Love,
Lola
Hi! Thanks for the follow and the comment on my blog! I'm such a schlumpy underachiever today. But I DID shower, and I am going to get my hair cut tomorrow (it's down to my low back, I have about 4" of split ends... oy.) And I marked a scene I need to cut in my manuscript. Happy happy :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by Ink Spells! Yay for another YA SF writer! I'm looking forward to that Query Tracker contest, so I'll stop being a shlumper and get on that.
ReplyDeleteMost of the time I'm not really a shlumpy underachiever, but somehow I've convinced myself that I am. Sheesh. I definitely need a motto: perhaps "Don't be a schmuck" or even better "Schlumpy is as schlumpy does." Okay, that was lame.
Looking forward to more of your blog!
p.s. congrats on being repped. Awesome.
I seriously have to read his book because I like him so much. What can I do? Hmmm...clean more? Does it have to be writing related? I generally have no problem obsessing over my writing related goals. It's the non-writing goals that seem to fall by the way-side.
ReplyDeleteI went and showered right after I read this, which was this morning but my computer went bonkers and Im just now able to comment. I'm joining ANOTHER group...how many can there be haha, to help me meet my deadlines. Thats my newest non schlumpy agenda :)
ReplyDeleteThink I need to read that book now. I keep hearing good things about it.
ReplyDeleteI shower, but my gym routine has gone right out of the window. Better do something about that to avoid the schlumpy. :)
I see you just signed into my blog as follower. And I'm so glad you did so I could meet you.
ReplyDeleteI love what you've shared here. What I really want is a treadmill, and almost bought one a few weeks ago used from some lady on Craigs List. Then my children needed some financial help. But maybe now I can get one.
I love all your pointers and am copying them out for reference!! And I've bookmarked you so I can come back later and browse your blog and website. Cheers!!
A shlumpy underachiever? Perish the thought! I am showered (twice-showered if you could the glass of water my cat spilled all over me a little while ago). And I will even shower again tomorrow. Now about the rest of those things...
ReplyDeleteThis post makes me want to have a productive, non-schlumpy weekend.
ReplyDeleteExercise is where I totally fall flat. I used to be great at it, but it has taken the back seat. And in my forties now I either choose to be the pre-grandma that will wear cute jeans or a mumu.
ReplyDeleteYes! I totally have the force. I think.
ReplyDeleteI saw Dan's presentation at Ltue. It was awesome!
I am trying to keep up with my goals to stay on track. =)
Haha. :) Thanks for the laughs. I'm so going to use the word "shlumpy" from now on. It's hard to feel shlumpy when I'm over-working in the real world and feel like I'm crazy busy every day... but I'm right there with you, I'm shlumpy when it comes to exercise. I really gotta work on that.
ReplyDeleteToday, I showered and taught Story Time at the library. I still need to do the dishes though. ;)
ReplyDeleteI want a motto too! I'll have to think on that one. I don't suppose "I need to sleep!" is a very good one. Yeah... I'll think some more :)
ReplyDeleteBeing an underachiever is just part of my persona...
ReplyDeleteHmmm... Right now, not so much. However, I do like the idea of a motto. *starts thinking*
ReplyDeleteShower, ya, okay, I get that.
ReplyDeletePut on something nice, pack up the writing supplies and "go to work." That worked for me this week. Also, I signed up for a 35 mile bike tour in early June, so am motivated to get my biking butt in shape. Enjoy tennis!
wait, wait, wait. I have to take showers?! NO DEAL!!
ReplyDelete