Thursday, June 24, 2010

How To Write

Dude, I've got it down to a science. And I'm going to share it with you. You wanna be a writer? Publish books?

Here's what you do.

1. Sit down at the computer.
2. Open Word.
3. Type some words.
4. Keep typing until you get to the end.
5. Repeat for book #2.

That's it. It's not that hard, really. *dodges Coke cans* (Of course, there's more to it than that, but really, that's it, right? If you boil everything else away...you sit down, open Word and type. If you're struggling, try this formula.)

Well, how would you do it? What am I missing?

83 comments:

  1. Ah if only I were already published! Then someone could perhaps be paid to do my revising for me?

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  2. Hmm, so I don't need all the plot mumbo jumbo, and that thing called a story arc, and does that mean character details are unimportant? SWEET! Maybe I will be published one day after all!!

    Teeheehaahaa. Cute Post!
    ~JD

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  3. LOL If only it were that easy!!!!

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  4. The first part is that easy. It's all that stuff between book #1 and #2 that gets me. Something about editing...

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  5. *giggles* I just wrote something similar the other day on my blog:

    The only thing that will EVER limit us is ourselves. Write that masterpiece. It's in you. All you have to do is type a lot, edit a bunch, fill in the plot holes, rewrite a scene or two, add a character, change the ending, and kill those adverbs and TADA!!! Success. Now get back to work and stop your b*tching. You're beautiful.

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  6. I am just so offended Elana. After years and years of working on my writing, surviving because of one product and you insult my Diet Dr Pepper by calling it Coke?! I go with the real professionals' supplement. Hmph.

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  7. I think you definitely nailed it, however it doesn't always seem that easy... when the words don't flow I find adding a glass of wine (at a decent hour of course!) helps loosen the words!

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  8. You forgot the constant checking of facebook and twitter in between all that!

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  9. If only the words created a perfect manuscript. You forgot your 30-day to revise formula, which for some us, has to be used more than once.

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  10. Other than 'sit down with notebook & pen,' that's how I'd do it. Oh, and some inspirational music, too. And get away from the computer as it's distracting!

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  11. Yep, that's pretty much it. . .
    OH, I guess we should throw in the editing part, huh? But that comes later...in a nutshell, just gotta set the butt to the chair and type!

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  12. You forgot the guilt of ignoring your family, household, and personal hygiene.

    There's also the self doubt, time management and constantly being distracted by Blogger and commenting on blogs, twitter and other shiny things on the internet.

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  13. Great formula...and so true.

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  14. I love it! It's so true, but like with most things... easier said than done (for me, at least).

    I was born to be distracted.. le sigh.

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  15. You forget the list of handy dandy chocolate snack thingy's right by the edge of the desk.

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  16. Elana, you miss nothing! We can hem and haw and amend, pretend there's more to it, but honestly, this is it - with one tweak. Why would I write in Word when Scrivener is God's gift to writers?

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  17. That's basically it, for the first draft, at least. Butt in chair. That's the only way I get anything done. But chocolate-covered pretzels help.

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  18. But. . . but what about the fun stuff? Like preplanning. Outlining. Editing. That's what I live for. NOT the first draft. That's my least favorite part. ;)

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  19. Hey what about the middle of the story hair pulling and late night with your best friend chocolate! Okay and I do a happy dance at the end of every first draft and brace myself for editing. Lol.

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  20. Wow I never thought of it this way *throws hands to hips and gives sarcastic face*
    Here all along I've been closing the Word doc and imagining the words writing themselves. No wonder things aren't getting done...

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  21. straight up truth. I saw a question on yahoo questions the other day. He said he had an idea for a story and had outlined and all that stuff but then didn't know what to do.
    I was like, dude, just start writing. Step 1.

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  22. You're right. All the other is no good if you don't just sit down and do it. I needed this today. Thanks!

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  23. Dude - that's all it takes?? JK. I often have my BIC, but then I end up on blogs and twitter. Must keep writing words...

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  24. Fantastic post. Spot on. And congratulations on "Control Issues". That is really exciting.

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  25. The only thing you're missing is the chocolate. I can't write without it. :)

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  26. Just what I needed, today. Thumbs-up, E.

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  27. LOL! Most excellent post. I will add...open notebook, lay gel pens beside it. Then open that word doc. Really. I just like to look at the notebook and gel pens...

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  28. Sounds about right to me. When it comes right down to it, it's all about putting your butt in the chair and just doing it.

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  29. That's it? You mean pacing around my living room having conversations between my characters and wonder what happens next then calling my friend cause I need to soundboard then take notes, listen to some music then write out more notes then look at Word and think holy crap I'm exhausted I need a nap...doesnt?!?!? LOL thanks for the reminder, literally I have been pacing and not writing...just what I needed to read today :)

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  30. Pretty much it. One of the ten tips for securing an agent in the most recent Poets and Writers is "You're a writer - focus on the writing. Put the work first, and worry about the business second. Writers should write and agents should do business."

    Write, write, write.

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  31. You've cracked the code! Except Marybeth added the essentials...checking FB and Twitter constantly, or is that how Not to do it?

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  32. Yes, exactly. Like someone wisely said, WRITERS WRITE. Or to follow Nike's advice, JUST DO IT. ;)

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  33. Wow.
    This is deeply profound yet at the same time a cry for me to write...'cause I do call myself a writer, don't I?

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  34. It sort of goes back to that old saying: Writers write. It's the way we learn, after all, by doing!

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  35. I think you're forgetting the copious amounts of coffee and chocolate. Or Diet Coke and Twizzlers, if that's your thing.

    Dammit, I just remembered the pretzel M&M's. Why am I not at a grocery store right now?!?

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  36. I think there are a lot of people out there who want to write, but fail to follow your simple steps. Of course, it's not that easy, but no one can get very far without that practice. And practicing again and again. :)

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  37. Thank you so much for the simplicity Elana. I have heard this so many times before, but I forget it regularly, so I can never hear this too much.

    Thank you, now I can get back to writing.

    It may not be easy, but it is that simple.

    Great post Elana.

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  38. That's profound, Elana. Seriously. How many people bellyache about how they can't find time, can't get a break, don't have a chance, etc, when they just don't do the basic work?

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  39. Hmm, it seems too easy. What's the catch? :P I'd also need to unplug the internets.

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  40. I agree! Butt in chair, pen in hand!! And remind people that it's okay not to write some days. Your brain needs a break every now and again.

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  41. I think that pretty much covers the essentials. :0)

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  42. So true, because you can't do the other stuff until you do the simple stuff.

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  43. ROFL Elana. Yup, that pretty much covers it.

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  44. Yeah. Haven't heard of a better way :) In my case, kinda have to have coffee and chocolate in close proximity!

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  45. Oh, THAT'S how you do it? No wonder I've been struggling lately. I forgot about steps 2-5! I think I've perfected step one, though! LOL! :-)

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  46. LOL! Love it!!!!! I can't tell you how many people have said to me "Oh, I want to write a book, but this and that and more this and more that..." They are full of excuses.

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  47. In my case you left out:

    6: Reread what you wrote
    7: Cry a little
    8: Revise
    9: Reread revision
    10: Cry more
    11: Send to CPs for help
    12: Receive copious amount of notes
    13: Cry a little more
    14: Revise again
    15: Send to agent
    16: Receive MORE revision notes
    17: Flee to Mexico.

    Ole!

    :)

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  48. Ok, I'll go back to reread all the other comments (except for Shannon's since they're currently last and definitely awesome/true.)

    I think it's funny that people think there's really something about writing that published/agented authors know and the rest of the world don't. Like there's a huge secret out there that not everyone knows about. I blogged complaining about the stupidity that I see when an inspiring author goes up to an established published author and asks "What's your secret?"
    I want to punch the person and say "Their secret wasn't asking published authors their secret."
    Ok, off my high horse, especially since I'm not published.

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  49. You forgot the part of finding your muse. Usually I find mine at the bottom of a pot of coffee or bottom of a bottle or on the best days on the bottom of both.

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  50. LoL, so simple. But it's true. If you want to write, sit down and do it.

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  51. YES.

    I think I need to print this out and glue it above my desk to remind myself.

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  52. It's good advice, but if only it were so simple, or maybe it is!

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  53. And yet, there are so many who stop before book#2, yes?

    I think you left out the manic distractions of the internet, while you're stalling working on your MS.

    Yup, that's it. :)

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  54. Well said. You hit the nail right on the head!

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  55. What about the crying and pulling out of hair? Is that just me? j/k =)

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  56. This is why we love you, Elana. You make us see the obvious that we've been missing. :) Only I'm kind of going to have to go with Shannon Messenger on this one. Can I go to Italy though? They have this awesome prosecco there that at least lets me think what I'm writing is brilliant. (For about 5 minutes then I have to go all Inigo Montoya on the adverbs and crappy sentences, "You killed my manuscript. Prepare to die.")

    Martina

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  57. *heaves caffeine free diet coke can*

    (I'm preggers, and feeling snarky.) ;)

    No, but, you ARE right. That is the easy-peezy way it's done. (I mean, so I hear!)

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  58. ROFL!!! Oh, Elana, you never cease to laugh me out! I don't see it any other way, really and truly. ;)

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  59. Lol. I'm going to include chocolate and snacks in that list somewhere. :)

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  60. Well, that's the barebones of it. lol

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  61. Think you have it down except you forgot pretzel M&M's.
    Happy weekend,
    Karen :)

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  62. I'd like to include a cup of Chai tea, but other than that, it's perfect!

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  63. Ok, I'm furiously writing these tips down so I don't forget!

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  64. This sounds totally manageable. Now, if only I could disable my Internet connection and cancel cable.

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  65. All that list needs is a big bag of Twizzlers:)

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  66. Yes, That's it! And don't spend too much time commenting everywhere. *sigh* Hi.

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  67. Nothing like a little butt to chair time!

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  68. As long as you are going for the 'pure writer' approach - I would add only one more ingredient: a blindfold.

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  69. When you clear away all of the confusion and distractions, this is the basic truth-no mater how much time you spend studying writing, taking classes and reading great books, unless you sit your rear end in the chair and type the book, it'll never get written, and then it won't matter how much time you spend studying the craft. Writer's write. Period.

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  70. I think you are on to something here. Finding some way to be invisible in the chair would be of assistance as well.

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  71. I thought you had to eat Twizzlers to get published???

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  72. I love this. I've quoted it multiple times, and I just blogged it at fantasticfantasyfan.blogspot.com

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  73. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  74. I think my biggest problem is actually writing...I really need to schedule some time everyday, or else I'll never get anywhere with it.

    Thanks for the straight forward advice, :)

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  75. I think that is the best explanation anyone ever gave of getting a writing a story, save for everything that you have to do AFTER those for steps.

    Also, I just began following your blog and was reading that you're represented by an agent? Is your agent accepting query submissions at this time? I've been working on getting my story, The Magic of Light, published for about five years now. Please let me know by posting on my blog if you get the chance to.

    Happy writing,
    LReneeS

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