Firsts

Dude, today is the first day of my twelfth year of teaching! It is officially the longest I have ever held one assignment. (I spent three years as a music/art specialist, and then four years teaching third grade. So this one day of my FIFTH YEAR in the computer lab makes being the technology specialist the longest teaching assignment I've had.)

So today, on this first day of awesome, I wanted to talk about firsts. We hear it all the time as authors. You've got to hook them with your first line. The first sentence. The first paragraph, the first page, the first chapter.

I'm no different. Heck, I like to be hooked by the front cover. First sight. That kind of thing.

That said, does that mean I quit if I'm not wowed by the cover? No.

What about the first sentence? Nope, I give authors a lot longer than that to wow me. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't labor to find the exact right line to open our stories with. There is something to be said about first impressions.

Some examples of what I think works:
1. "When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold." ~The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.

I love this line, because it implies that the other side of the bed shouldn't be cold, and that this MC is left wanting because they were asleep when the other person left. It's haunting and poetic at the same time.

2. "Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much." ~Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling.

I think this line does a decent job of convincing me to read more. I mean, it just screams of "NOT normal coming right up!" and I'm a sucker for "not normal."

3. "I used to be someone." ~The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary E. Pearson.

Now, it's no secret that this is one of my favorite books. Lines like this are why. There is an immediate connection to the main character, because we all want to be someone.

But I don't stop with one sentence, or one paragraph, or one page, or even one chapter. I do think firsts are important, and I do think authors should work to create the best writing and storytelling they can. The goal is that every word is in the right place, not just the first one.

Some firsts I like just by looking at them: (I have not read any of the books below, but I want to just from my first impression of seeing the cover.)

I mean, seriously? How could you not want to read this?

This is seriously creeptastically eye-catching. First impression? CHECK.

First is the title. It's brilliant. The haunting smoke, the wind-whipped hair... I'm sold.

Are you a creature of firsts? Do covers sell you? First pages/chapters? How long do you read before you know a book just isn't for you?

Using Law & Order to Write

So I don't think it's a secret that I watch a lot of TV. I enjoy Law & Order quite a lot. The original or SVU are my faves.

And I sat down to write a new WiP a couple of weeks ago, I just sat there. See, I can't write in order. I don't know where to start. So I just wrote the scene in my head. The next day, I wrote the next one--and no, it didn't immediately follow or precede the one I'd already written. It was just another scene I'm going to have to surgically insert into the book. Somewhere.

After I have a whole bunch of scenes written, then I can usually write the beginning. This happened yesterday. And you know how you've read in various places about the importance of the first sentence? The first paragraph? The first page?

The first chapter?

Yeah, me too. I think that's why beginnings are so hard (for me) to write. So I've got my document open, at the beginning, ready to write. Law & Order had just started. (Yes, I write to the TV, pandora, whatever.)

And it hit me. My opening chapter needs to be just like the first five minutes of a Law & Order episode. (Click to hear the sound. You really want to live inside this brainwave, I know you do.)

So in the first five minutes of Law & Order, we're introduced to the murder/crime. We're hooked. The rest of the episode is spent solving the crime/murder. And often, it's the mundane that introduces the conflict. People taking the trash out. Someone going into their office. The housekeeper opening the garage. That kind of stuff. And then bam! The dead body.

That's what I need to do in my first chapter. I need to introduce the reader to the world, to my character, and to the "dead body." I need to have them hooked by the end of the five minutes it takes them to read my first chapter.

Easy, yes? Um, sure. But it really helped me get the words down that will probably be my first chapter. (Since I write it after I've written a bunch of other stuff, my first chapter generally stays fairly close to what I write the first time.) Thank you, Law & Order and TNT for playing copious episodes of L&O.

So you tell me: How do you write your first chapter? What needs to happen? What's been your inspiration for writing your first chapter?

Oh! And I'm helping out the Florida Writers Foundation by offering at 50-page critique. Go bid if you can!

First Line Friday, Part Two

Wow, a lot of people posted their first lines. And there were so many really great ones! Just as a recap, here are the ones I posted last week--with the novel they came from.

1. So she tells me, the words dribbling out with the cranberry muffin crumbs, commas dunked in her coffee. (Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson)

2. Good girls don't walk with boys. (Control Issues by, that's right--me!)

3. I'd never given much thought to how I would die--though I'd had reason enough in the last few months--but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this. (Twilight by Stephenie Meyer)

4. A tree branch slapped John Craig across the face. (Eighth Grade Bites by Heather Brewer)

5. The two men appeared out of nowhere, a few yards apart in the narrow, moonlit lane. (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling)

6. The haze settling in Jesse Oropeza's head has nothing to do with Mr. Sadler's droning lecture on functions, though that would have done it. (Living Assistants - yours truly)

7. The acrid smell of smoke floated in my head, taunting me. (Elemental Hunger - me again)

8. "You've got to be kidding me," the bouncer said, folding his arms across his massive chest. (City of Bones by Cassandra Clare)

9. When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. (The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins)

10. Dark shapes drifted in front of the car, blocking the oncoming lights from the freeway. (The Mirror - mine)

11. When I was a child, I didn't dream of growing up to be an international bank thief. (Elite - me again)

12. With one last, almighty roar, the Frenchman fell to his knees and died. (Dust of 100 Dogs by A.S. King)


Our golden ticket holders:

Nisa: Power touched him, gripping him tightly.

Robyn: Anna threw open the barn door, smiling at her horse.

Liz: To say the house was old would be an understatement.

Michelle: Okay, even for a Monday my day was pretty suck-tacular.

Jamie: “Are we going to take her to the cabin first, or inject her right here?”

Tess: Ollie's daddy was born a preacher, no choice in the matter.

Scott: The fairy godmother (okay, it was a drag queen dressed as Glinda the Good Witch) waved her magic wand and solved all the problems of the Universe.

Jake was beyond furious.

~Jamie: I hold my breath and dive into the crawl space just before the beam of a flashlight sweeps across the wall.

Christine: Always running; always the same.

Most people forget their dreams.

Nesya climbed the steps of the subway platform, her human form still foreign.

KLo: I felt revulsion toward my son today.

Lady Glamis: A book of poetry. Naomi didn’t know why the man looking down at her was pressing a thin volume of poetry to his chest, but it was the first thing that fueled her hope of staying alive.

Beth: My name is Elder, even though I'm the youngest one on the ship.

C.N.: I found Jesus in the Five Man Electric Band, and I found him there because Jesus plays Chinese chess.

God Bless the flower pots.

As I douse your body in gasoline, pouring almost a full gallon into the gash I opened in your throat, and then proceed to light you ablaze, I realize that it’s still not enough.

People like to read poems about monkeys.

Sandra: As soon as Paul Harrison left the stage, he ripped the holoprojector bands off his arms. The cherubs dumped another basket of hearts into the vat. I was mopping up puppy piss in the waiting room when a client brought in his bearded dragon.

Michelle: While most teenagers reveled in moments of tested independence with their parents, Faith McDaniels had been cheated of that coming-of-age ritual; death had a way of changing priorities in life.

Jessica: If there was one thing Rachel McCormick hated more than breaking into the mayor’s house, it was getting caught.

Danyelle: The world began with a wish and a flame.

Bettyk: As the clock struck midnight the bells of Westminster Abby began to peal; it was a solemn occasion and the carillons tolled with a distinct half-muffled ring. A proclamation of bereavement.

C. Taylor: The body lay as it had fallen, the man’s limbs bent at awkward angles.

Lady Phoebe Hughes came down the stairs, her hand tight on the railing in case she should misstep and fall.

Crystal: Dear Mama, I hope you are doing well. PLEASE COME GET ME AND OTIS!

I'm going to pick five (not necessarily my top five. Remember my desire for nice-nice?) that I liked and explain why. You're welcome to do the same. The questions for today are: What makes a great first line? What sucks you in? Why does it grip you so? And, how much time and energy do you put into that first line?

1. The world began with a wish and a flame.
***I like this because I want to know what the wish was, what the world was, and how the flame plays into all of it. I'd read on for sure.

2. Okay, even for a Monday my day was pretty sucktacular.
***I love the voice of this. I like sassy and snappy and cool new words like sucktacular. *wink* Like you all didn't know that. I'd read a whole novel with snark like this.

3. “Are we going to take her to the cabin first, or inject her right here?”
***Oooh, what cabin? Inject her with what? Why? Who is she? Who are "they"? This brings so many intriguing questions that I'd read on for a while to find out the answers.

4. The fairy godmother (okay, it was a drag queen dressed as Glinda the Good Witch) waved her magic wand and solved all the problems of the Universe.
***Dude, I need a fairy godmother that can solve the problems of the universe. Badly. This also has great voice that grabs and the drag queen adds an interesting twist. I wonder where it will go next--what with the problems all solved and everything. I'd read on to find out.

5. The body lay as it had fallen, the man’s limbs bent at awkward angles.
***I like a good mystery, so this draws me in immediately.

So sometimes it's voice (okay, for me, a lot of the time, the voice is the first thing that hooks me), sometimes it's content (mystery injections, dead bodies) and sometimes it's simply the intrigue of what might come next.

In all honesty, I don't spend much time on the first line of my novels. Heck, just writing the beginning is always like Chinese water torture, but once I know where to start the story, the first line just sort of falls into place.

Today's questions are just above my picks. Which of these first lines do you like best? And why?

First Line Friday

Okay, peeps. I like looking at the first lines of books. I've put several below. Some are mine from various novels and books I've written. Some aren't. Can you tell which ones? (NOTE: I am not comparing myself to anyone. Just throwing this fascinating topic out there.)

I'd love it if you'd post your first line(s) in the comments and I'll compile them and post them on my blog next week. Maybe we can have a little discussion about what makes a good first line? Would you be up for that?

Now I don't want to turn into Authoress at Miss Snark's First Victim. I just want to know what YOU think makes a good first line. And I want to read yours. And then I want us to look at them and decide which ones work FOR US INDIVIDUALLY and which ones don't. And maybe ponder on why.

Anyone want to do this? You know I like stewing about such things. What do you think of these below?

1. So she tells me, the words dribbling out with the cranberry muffin crumbs, commas dunked in her coffee.

2. Good girls don't walk with boys.

3. I'd never given much thought to how I would die--though I'd had reason enough in the last few months--but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.

4. A tree branch slapped John Craig across the face.

5. The two men appeared out of nowhere, a few yards apart in the narrow, moonlit lane.

6. The haze settling in Jesse Oropeza's head has nothing to do with Mr. Sadler's droning lecture on functions, though that would have done it.

7. The acrid smell of smoke floated in my head, taunting me.

8. "You've got to be kidding me," the bouncer said, folding his arms across his massive chest.

9. When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold.

10. Dark shapes drifted in front of the car, blocking the oncoming lights from the freeway.

11. When I was a child, I didn't dream of growing up to be an international bank thief.

12. With one last, almighty roar, the Frenchman fell to his knees and died.


So if you're up for public humiliation critique and want to postulate as to what makes a good first line, simply post your first line in the comments. That will act sort of like your ticket to the discussion next week we'll have on all the entered first lines. Is this making sense to anyone other than me?

I'll make a list. I like lists. Lists like me.

1. Post your first line in a comment.
2. You can also comment about other things (the lines above. Can you guess mine?) if you want. You know I like that.
3. Next week, I'll post all the first lines and talk about which ones "work" for me and why.
4. You'll join in the discussion, naming which first lines you like and why.
5. We'll all have a jolly fun time discussing the first lines of books we've read, written, hope to write/read in the near and far distant future and basically learn from one another.

'Kay?

And...go!

Total Weirdness and Wonky Ish

In case you missed my post on cool words, you should check it out here. Inspired by a comment Megan made on a post, I decided to keep track of the words I have to type in to leave comments on people's blogs. This may reveal just how nerdy and band-geekalicious I am, but oh well.

Here are my faves:

Left on my sister's No Measurements cooking blog: slica. I almost think this could be the name of my next female MC. "Slica ran down the wet sidewalk, thinking it was really slica, just like her name." Dude, the agents will be fawning over that first line.

Left on Megan's blog: pingess. It occurred to me as I left the comment that "-ess" could be a sweet thing to tag onto words to make new ones. Like, "Dudess, I thinkess we couldess go outsidess." Um, that sounds sorta Shakespearess. So maybe notess.

Left on Cole Gibsen's blog: corse. I don't know why, but my mind translated this to "horse." And that's not funny. Or weird. Or wonky. Oh well. Not all words are created equal. 'Corse not. A horse is a horse, of corse of corse...

Left on Archetype's writing blog: tedee. This is a version of "Ta Da!" for those speech-impaired people who can't say "a". Or two-year-olds. Or one of those things on Alice in Wonderland. Or something.

Left on Kate Karyus Quinn's blog (who has the coolest name, BTW): manunut. No, I am not kidding. Man-U-Nut. I laughed out loud and came to put it in the blog post. I'm still laughing.

I wonder what kind of words people get when they comment on my blog...wouldn't that be interesting to know? See what I waste my time thinking about? Sheesh. Think how much I could get done with the brain cells I've been devoting to weird and wonky words.