That's right. *whispers* Outlining. I blogged a WiP Wednesday or two ago about this evil. And I thought it would be hilarious if I posted my outline. I know some of you aren't going to believe me. Like I'm one of those people you see on late night television with Jay Leno who doesn't know there is a South and a North Dakota. I swear I'm not. I swear I'm smart. Honestly. I even have the GPA to prove it. I just can't wrap my mind around outlining.
So here's what my feeble and pathetic attempts at outlining yielded.
And outline...go. These are chapters, BTW.
1. Intro to Penelopie - how she can feel death. Death is coming
2. Intro to Blake - backstory on their death partnership, world-building
3. Intro to Jayne - more on P's abilities - more about Blake
4. Blake asks Pen to the beach - backstory on what Pen's doing in her "family"
5. Characterization on Jayne, Sasha and Ruth.
6. Home life – real-life intro to Pen’s parents
8. Jayne’s death
And that took me most of one day to do. I wanted to die (I still do). And I haven't worked on that novel since. I just can't go back to the horror waiting for me in that Word document. Can you really call that an outline? I mean look at number 7. It's one freaking word. How is that an outline?
I need therapy. Serious therapy. Does anyone know someone who's great with Outline: Fail patients? Please leave me their phone number in the comments.
Oh, and your insight on the dirty o-word would be appreciated too. kthxbai.