Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Admissions

Okay, so it's 10:16 PM on Tuesday. I never (like NEVER) write my blog posts the night before they go live. I'm much too neurotic for that. I have to read over them a billion times. I have to shift them from this day to that day, rewrite them, postpone the ones I'm worried about.

No, seriously. Writing this blog is like a full-time job with approximately 1618 bosses. That's how I think of you, my readers. I stew about what you might like to read. What you might want to weigh in on. What you might want to know about me, my book, my next door neighbor (kidding. Kind of). What will get you to dish about your next door neighbor.

The pressure is heavy, enormous. Sometimes I feel like I won't be able to deliver. That I won't be funny / informative / personal / helpful / impersonal / friendly / witty / knowledgeable / [insert adverb here] enough. (Is adverb even the right part of speech? Are they called parts of speech? Crap. No time to Google this vital piece of information.)

I want to give each and every one of you the exact post you need at the exact moment you need it. I want to get to every blog out there. I want to leave meaningful comments on said blogs.

The fact is: I can't. I will fail at this.

And that bothers me in a way I can't describe.

I'm humbled every day when I wake up and see comments. You make me laugh and cry and everything in between. I appreciate every comment and the many who read and don't comment. I'm glad you think my blog is worth your limited time.

So thank you. And know that I am trying.

What's pressuring you right now? Did I use an adverb up there? How in the world do people write blog posts the night before and not have time to edit them into submission??

76 comments:

Natalie Aguirre said...

You make it all seem so effortless that I never imagined you stress so much over the blog posts. Don't worry they're great. You have such great ideas for blog posts. I'm amazed. Seriously.

Right now I'm feeling pressured about our office move on November 19th. It'll be great when it's done. I'll have a window in my office for the first time in about 20 years. But packing up all our heavy, thick files to move and then unpacking them. Not fun.

Trisha Wolfe said...

I read your blog because you are one of the few people who do care about what she says, how it comes across, and wants to help others. It shows in your writing. It gives me motivation to keep on writing as well. I guess what's pressuring me is me right now =) With NaNoWriMo I am pushing myself to finish another novel while querying and submitting my other. I want to try and write something that is different and not so much in my comfort zone- something that really flexes my writer's muscles. Thanks for all your great posts Elana! And thanks for caring about us, your followers =)

Teresa aka JW said...

I would rather write them a week before posting so I have time to edit them over and over.... But, sometimes I get behind and then it's just sit and edit the night before. I don't like doing it that way!

Jemi Fraser said...

Don't let it get to you! Your posts are 'you' and that means they're fabulous! What's pressuring me right now??? So much I sometimes I feel like I'm literally inside the pressure cooker :)

Laura Pauling said...

I'm feeling such pressure - not to eat the Snickers bar from my son's Halloween candy. I walk past it all day.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I can't write a blog post the night before it goes ups, either. I have to edit several times. I'm also neurotic that way. :)

lotusgirl said...

I write my posts just before posting generally. I've been toying with the idea of doing them all in one day and then posting them through the week to be a bit more efficient. Maybe I should edit them into submission a bit more.

And adjective.

Your posts are so fun and informative. I always enjoy hearing what you have to say.

Gail said...

Where did the fun go? Even if you only give the posts that three people need on any given day, that three received what they needed... but then what do I know, I haven't as many followers as you do.

You are too hard on yourself. Your posts are always great.

Liza said...

You do just fine.

Kerri C at CK Farm said...

Your posts are always great! If it makes you feel better I'm just a ball of stress,ugh. Yea I'm going for the chocolate.

Jen Daiker said...

You rock our world with your awesomeness Elana. I can safely say that you never let me down, and if I don't get the advice I need that day I know that on the little archive button on the side I can find the inspiring piece I need :)

Keep up your awesomeness! This boss (ME!) gives you an A+

Shannon said...

One thing came to mind when I read this post - you're being way too hard on yourself. You're fabulous and the time/effort/toiling is seen and appreciated every day. <3

Megan K. Bickel said...

I don't comment often because I get your posts via e-mail, but I felt compelled to actually click over here for this one.

Your posts are awesome because they are just a little bit of you. Your personality shines through. All I need from your blog posts is that little bit of Elana-ness! So don't stress. You rock.

I write my posts the morning of sometimes! I keep 'em really short though. That helps. : )

Christine Fonseca said...

Dude! You know we love your posts - long or short, funny or not. What we love is that they are YOU!!! Hugs.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Just trying to survive a busy schedule and get through my next few speaking gigs. After that, I need to decide which direction to go, and I have a feeling writing will fall by the wayside for a while.

Jessica Nelson said...

Woman!!!! Stop pressuring yourself.
Repeat this to yourself:

"No one will kill me if I'm not perfect. In fact, no one will notice if I'm not perfect."

However, if you spell a word wrong, I'll definitely notice. *grin*

No, you actually do an amazing job with your blog. Take deep breaths girl. :-)

Michelle McLean said...

LOL ditto on what everyone above said :) We read because it's you and you come through in your posts. I seriously think you could copy out large chunks of the phone book and you'd still find a way to add some Elana fun in there :)

Both you and your posts are awesome :)

(hmmm and I think those were adjectives you were listing...adverbs are usually those dreaded 'ly' words that I love so much mwahahahaha)

Caroline Starr Rose said...

Adjective.

Love you, girlie!

Marisa Hopkins said...

I'm with Michelle McLean... large chunks of the phone book would be pretty darned interesting if they were Elanafied.

I used to be a compulsive blog post editor, but then I realized that the posts where I just sit down, type, and then press 'publish' without thinking, are the ones where my personality show the most, and people seem to enjoy reading them more... so I learned to let go. My blog posts might not be perfect, but I certainly stress less... and use my old editing time to work on my book, which is pretty important. It's easy to get into the never ending blog post editing cycle!!

Elana Johnson said...

Adjective! Curses!!

And thanks guys. <3

Kristal Shaff said...

I wish I were that organized to think that far in advance! The night before, I'd consider like...well, organized and well planned!

Even if you posted it straight off the cuff, I'm sure you'd do fine. It's you and your voice that attract people, not how much you plan.

Emily White said...

Pshaw! Your posts are awesome! I took a break from NaNo writing JUST to see what you might have posted. Yeah, I'd say you've kept me interested. :D

Rachel said...

Totally "get" what your feeling, but it's totally unneccessary. We hang out here and read your posts because we like who you are, not just what you offer word wise. Although I am new to the writing community, I've quickly learned how important and valuable it is to interact and learn from others who may be one, two, or ten steps ahead of you in the game. Every bit of your day that you feel like sharing helps us see how normal ours lives can remain if we land that dream agent/pub contract, as well as how drastically it can change (Okay, pulled an all nighter with Nano last night and drastically doesn't look right. don't have energy for spell check).
Anyhoo, thanks for checking in every day and putting yourself out there. I, for one, appreciate it

Christi Goddard said...

Pft. Emily can afford a break. The over-achiever already has over 17,000 words written :-)

As for blog posts, I don't plan at all. I'll be doing something else and go, 'hm, maybe I should blog...' then I go to my page and post something.

Oh, the horror, right?

Stephanie McGee said...

I generally always write blog posts last-minute. But the definition of last-minute is fluid. Just relax and do what you can when you can.

Jennifer Hoffine said...

Like Ballet, it takes a lot of work to make writing seem effortless (and, in this case, personable/helpful/etc.). But you do! Your efforts are not in vein, and your honesty (as always) is appreciated.

Wendy Paine Miller said...

Mush. Mush! ;)

You are truly the blog champion of the world as I wrote on FB.

That you care so much says a lot.
~ Wendy

foldingfields said...

no stress. I'm not the boss. your blog provides positive energy for my writing day and it makes me laugh. That's why I keep coming back and checking up on things.
p.s. I almost never edit my blog posts--too lazy, tired, etc. I like the spontaneity of writing what's on my mind and then sticking it up for people to see.

Jonathon Arntson said...

And everything in between?

Is hot and bothered on that list?

If not, I'll work on it.

Joanna St. James said...

oh Please worry not, thou rocketh!

I once had a neighbor who had 2 kids he was divorced and had someone take his kids to school everyday.
I never spoke to anyone in that neighborhood but I imagined he was divorced because he burnt breakfast every morning and the same woman came to pick the kids up each morning.
On a funnier note in that same neighborhood the police once came into my flat to stakeout the guy living opposite us. It had been said that said creepy old man stood by d window and peeped.
I hope this made u smile but its all true

Matthew Rush said...

It's funny because we're opposite in more ways than one. Writing novels you pants, I plot. Writing blog posts you plot, I pants.

And yet, we both make both work, well ... you better than me, but hey that's beside the point.

Patti said...

I need to spend more time editing and not write them the night before. In fact, I've looked at past posts and think I might go clean them up.

Joanne said...

I'm definitely a blog scheduler, needing to have those slots filled up in advance. Plus it buys me a little breathing/blogging room ...

Lenny Lee! said...

hi miss elana! yikes! quit beating on yourself. you got a really cool blog no matter what you got to say. just being you is the best! your blog is sooo neat cause your honest and fun and you make people comfy and make everyone know you care. i like being here cause it feels like you and me are just sitting down together chatting. soooo, just keep on being YOU!
...big hugs from lenny

Marsha Sigman said...

Why do you doubt your awesomeness???lol

Most of the time an idea for a blog post hits me that morning in the shower! Your post are always great, just be you. That's all you need.

And if that wasn't inspirational enough, remember...you are your own rainbow.(Superstar)

Tess said...

silly you.

don't worry, be happy :D (is that tune playing in your head yet? Are you even old enough to remember that song?)

February Grace said...

Oh please, dear woman, at least take this one reader off that 'boss' list. No pressure here.

Just do what you do. It's cool as it is, as are you. No worries.

What's pressuring me right now is after 30 consecutive days they are seriously running out of places to find veins that will hold for needles with 12 days of infusions left to go. They keep collapsing halfway through and then having to use up other sites. Some days it's taken as many as four tries, with butterfly needles no less- little kids get those!

I do not want to have to get a pic line at almost the end. Nooooo.

~bru

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Elana, we are drawn to you because of your larger-than-life personality and your huge-as-the-moon heart. Your lamest post is still fabulous because your humor and voice leap off the page. And dude, you have the best.voice.ever!

What's pressuring me right now is my job. For the first time, I'd rather be home, writing - not here at school. This is a new feeling for me. I've always loved my job. I still do. But I want this writing thing to be real, to be able to treat it like the career I'd like it to be. Ya know?

Bekah said...

Planning- that's probably why you have great, informative posts. I just write as they come to me and stick 'em up there. OOPSY!

Colene Murphy said...

AWE! We love your blog no matter what! Stop stressin' gal. You're an AUTHOR. WE are the privileged ones who get to communicate with a real live AUTHOR!

And...umm...as the boss...GET BACK TO WORK. If I had a whip I would totally crack it right now.

Meredith said...

I always look forward to your blog posts! I don't know how you do it all, but you do it all very well--no need to worry :)

Shari said...

I love your blog. Don't stress over your posts. You are naturally funny and have great insights. You could share anything and we'd love it.

I am stressing over Nanowrimo. While others are cranking out the word count (namely, you) I am feeling a little bit like the tortoise, or maybe like tar or even molasses. The words are coming out S - L - O - W.

Candyland said...

I'm under more pressure than ever. The jobs. The child. The revision notes I have no idea what to do with. The blog. The fundraiser. The finances. The EVERYTHING.
I so feel you.]
You never ever disappoint. Keep being you. That's what I love.
But I understand the feeling. Just last night I was tapped out. The days I only get 13 comments are the days I feel lost...

Em-Musing said...

Please believe me when I say that when you leave a comment on my blog, I feel honored. I know your time is limited and valuable. Dude! You rock!

Angela M. said...

Yer s'posed to edit blog posts? Whaaaaaat??? Seriously (I use this word too much as well--whatev), you have never failed. You've been my greatest inspiration. Your blog was the one that got me on the right path so you must be doing something right ;)

As for pressure, bring it on when it comes to the writing. I'll love/hate it to the wee hours. My job on the other hand is killing me slowly. I'm hanging on by my fingernails. I want to go home and live with my family again so darn much!

Bish Denham said...

I go over and over my blog posts too. And when you have a moment to stop by my blog and leave a comment, I'm with Em-Musing, I fell honored.

At the moment I'm struggling to figure out the mechanics of revising, how to organize my notes in a cohesive way. I've been searching the internet and havn't found a thing. So far Beth Revis's blog on HOW she's done it has been the most helpful. But I'm struggling here in the deep end, getting tired of treading water.

Shannon Whitney Messenger said...

I feel you on the stressing/obsessing/rereading/postponing blog post thing. But I'm still not organized enough to get as far ahead as you do (I'm all too often writing up posts the night before). But this is a fabulous post--so well done you. (as always--you totally put me to shame) :)

Quinn said...

My posts are written right before they go up. Sometimes, I'll write a draft longhand and then type it up, but that will generally be done the day of too. I read over and edit, of course, but ... i don't know.

Anyway, what's pressuring me right now is getting my writing space set up. I just moved into a new apartment. I ordered a desk and have it now (still haven't got the bookshelf). I'm just trying to get everything situated so I can actually sit at my desk and start doing the revisions on the book I completed two months ago.

roxy said...

With 1,618 readers, you're doing pretty well, writer lady. We tune in for a little bit of Elana each day. Don't stress, just keep being you.

Tina Lynn said...

I come here because you are darn cute. And even when you think you're boring me, you never are. You're honest and real and that goes a long way :D And I fail at grammar. I just like telling stories.

VR Barkowski said...

You are a blog goddess. That is all.

Krispy said...

YOU are amazing. I don't know how you do it, and the only reason I do blog posts the night before is I can't plan far enough ahead to be writing them in advance. :P So don't be too impressed. It's born from necessity, not ability. Haha.

Donea Lee said...

I think you're doing an awesome job!! Blogging - to begin with - is a feat on its own! I know I've struggled with coming up with ideas and I'm sure some of them totally blow. It was easier when noone was reading the darn thing!! :)(not that many are now, but...) And I'm just some random person... I think your # of followers is a HUGE indication that you're doing just great! No worries - I enjoy your blog, a lot! It's all good - :)

L.T. Elliot said...

You're rockin' the awesomesauce, Elana. I love to come to your blog because you're real. You tell it like it is: when it's hard, when it's fun, when you just don't know what it is--these are the honest fluctuating emotions of a writer in motion and I appreciate that because someone else gets it. So keep on, keeping on. You rock!

Melody said...

WE LOVE YOU, ELANA!!!!
Yes, you write informative and helpful and funny and witty stuff that informs and helps and makes me laugh...and I love it. BUT - what I really love about this blog is you. You're so...real. :) Just keep being yourself!

The Golden Eagle said...

You write excellent blog posts! I always jump right over to the site to read them. :)

Nichole Giles said...

The thing is, you always know just what to say, and your timing is eerily precise. But you don't have to do everything for everyone all the time.

Dude. It almost doesn't matter what you write anymore. You've effectively hooked us. We're life-long readers now.

salarsenッ said...

I learned from you to write my posts a week ahead. It's been an enormous help. With four kids, house...blah...and now that I'm actively (did you see that word? E, I had my first freelance article published a few weeks ago. OMGosh...it was way cool), freelancing, I can't imagine writing posts the morning of.

What's stressing me right now? I just posted revised loglines. I'd never written one before...really. I'm going through my final comb-through of my ms before sending it to the wonderful author who's line-editing it for me. *shivers, wants to puke* Sighs...and then I have to tackle that freaking query again.

Lea (YA Book Queen) said...

You truly are the queen of blogging, Elana. I honestly don't know how you do it all! Your posts are always so interesting =)

Ah, pressure in my life is just crazy right now. Too many people to please, too much to get done, and not enough hours in the day. Where's a time machine when you need one?

Sara B. Larson said...

You are doing a fabulous job! Are you kidding? You're the blogging queen. We can only hope to aspire to your greatness. :) love ya!

Nicole Zoltack said...

I'm feeling pressure from Nano and PiBo and still attempting to blog M-F. I'm crazy, I know.

Nicole Zoltack said...

Oh and loglines. God I hate reworking loglines and queries. Oddly synopses don't bother me that much.

Angie said...

LOL, Elana. They're adjectives. You're blog is always great. I'm the total opposite. I think up an idea, sit down and right it and hit publish. I barely even read it over. So I probably have lots of typos in my posts.

Lisa_Gibson said...

You really shouldn't worry so much! I love your blog and it's one of the handful that I make sure to read every day. I may not comment every time but I do read every day. :) I keep coming back, because you have given me what I need when I need it. You're caring comes through too. Don't worry.
Lisa ~ YA Literature Lover

Ishta Mercurio said...

First, you do a great job with your blog. Those were adjectives and not adverbs, but still, you do a great job, and if you were totally perfect all the time, it would just be too intimidating. I usually write my blog posts the night before, but it's because I'm too disorganized to plan much further ahead. Also, if I write them in advance, I lose track of what's posting when, and then my blog doesn't feel like my blog anymore; it feels like a separate organism doing its own thing. And that's weird.

I'm feeling pressure from all the things I've signed up for this month: NaNo, PiBo, my mom visiting, my kids needing to eat, my office needing to be finished (because it's hard to work in an unpainted room without a floor or a desk), my class... It's a lot. I'm trying not to freak out.

But in the meantime, I need to feed my kids.

Jennifer Shirk said...

Awww...what a kind blog post.
But as your boss, I'm telling you to chill. LOL
We like you for who you are and not just your blog posts or visits. :)

Julie Hedlund said...

Your posts are awesome because you're you and you're awesome! Seriously. It never ceases to amaze me how much you want to help other writers in this crazy journey, and you do it with such humor and humility.

P.S. I edit my posts to death too...

Kelly said...

You are indeed a caring person who is generous with her time and knowledge! And funny too. And certainly human. And this is why I keep coming back.
And I reread my posts just a few times before posting...but that is my fly by the seat of my pants personality (and life).

G said...

I used to write up to two weeks in advance for my blog, but some two and a half years and 540+ posts (and two other functioning blogs) has drained the well to the point where I now write as long as two days in advance and as short as day of.

As for editing, I will edit and fine tune a post up to a dozen times before it gets published.

Lois D. Brown said...

Um ... Elana. I hate to give you more pressure, but do you realize you now have 1,620 bosses? Apparently you got a few more since you posted this. Yikes! More people to please.

Josh Hoyt said...

Regrettably or luckily I just like to write but hate to rewrite. Therefore a lot of my writing suffers and I get over it until my critique group gets a hold of it and rips it to pieces (:

Amie Kaufman said...

The night before? I write mine on the day, clearly I need to lift my game.

You're holding yourself to way too high a standard! It's awesome to care so much about all your readers, but sometimes it's also healthy to sit back and reverse roles. When you're reading other blogs, do you mind if the skip a day? Write something that's interesting, but not exactly what you needed at that moment? Would that stop you going back? I'm sure it wouldn't. Do unto yourself as you do unto others!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I never stress over posts and usually schedule them a couple days in advance. Inserting links and images into my posts takes longer than writing them. Maybe it's a guy thing.

Regina said...

I the pantster, just post when I can because time is limited in my days. Nights are internet free so I can't get much done other than writing if I can get it done.

Alaina Evans said...

Once again your words make me feel empowered. I would have never guessed you stressed about your blog. Crazy girl. You seem like such a well of knowledge and always have something brilliant and helpful to say. Thank you for sharing just how hard you work. It's very appreciated. You are indeed a blessing.

Emy Shin said...

I think you're doing a wonderful job with the blog! I love your posts because they're always honest and down-to-earth, and I always come away from them learning more about myself and writing. Please don't let it pressure you too much. You're awesome!

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