I Am Who I Am

Okay, so I think we're constantly growing and changing. We may think we know who we are, and what we stand for. In a lot of ways, we do. We each have "lines" we won't cross, or things we won't say, or other such things.

But from time to time, we're made aware of some things about ourselves that we thought we were okay with, only to find that we are, in fact, not okay with them.

It's a hard thing to face, especially as an adult--someone who shouldn't worry about what other people think about them.

But -- *whispers* -- we still do to some extent. And over the past several months, I've been wondering about myself.

See, it's pretty hard for me to open up to people. I have this wall up between me and others, and I actually like it. I don't like to hang out with large groups of people -- or even one-on-one is hard for me. It takes years for me to really come to be friends with people.

I care about them (I'm not a sociopath!), and I call them my friends, but I don't share personal information very often. I don't talk about personal things. As I've watched others, I've wondered, "Why don't I want to stay here and talk while my kids play?" or "Why don't I want to go to girl's night?" or "What's wrong with me that I'd rather be at home with my computer rather than hang out with my family?"

I've decided that there isn't anything really wrong with me. I took a personality test as part of my back-to-school activities, and I was labeled an "Achiever." I like to make lists; I like to get a lot of things done in a day; I like to do everything as efficiently as possible.

One of the characteristics of Achievers is that we constantly struggle to "get the next thing done," or "spend time with family and friends."

And it was comforting and eye-opening, because that is so me! I don't want to hang out while my kid plays, because I can get a lot done during that two hours! I can answer two dozen emails, organize a blog tour, format my next book, or write 2000 words in that two hours. I have things TO DO, you know?

So I've decided that it's okay that I like to get things done, but that all things need balance. And I do force myself to attend social situations, and be more friendly and open up more to trusted people. It's hard, but I can do it--I'll just add it to my list. *wink*

Have you ever had an eye-opening realization about who you are? Are you okay with it? We are, after all, who we are.

So Sue Me

Oh, I know, I know. I said I was going to UnBlog. I did this post way last weekend, if that makes any of you feel better. All right! I cheated a bit and did some of it last night when I found out I had another award. Sheesh. It's just one day!

I received some blog awards, and I thought I'd post them this week. J.B. Chicoine gave me the Kreativ Blogger award. I also received this award from NWA at Chronicles of a Novice Writer. And she's going to the conference at UVU, so she can't remain anonymous forever! Woot! (And mwa, ha ha!) And I got it from Scott Mitchell at A Writer's Blog. And I got it from Katie Salidas at Step 1: Write, Edit and Revise. Then I got it from Lin Wang at Flames and Shadows. And then from Icy Roses at From Elysium. And from Amanda at Ramblings of a Drifting Mind. Thanks a million guys! I *heart* you!

Anyway, this one has rulez. Here they are:

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.

2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.

3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.

4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting.

5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.

6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.

7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they have been nominated.

Okay, so I've done or will do all of that. I know you're on the edges of your seats to find out 7 things about me. Here goes.

1. I attended 4 universities before graduating. This wasn't because I kept getting suspended for rowdy behavior or anything. It's just because, well, I like to complicate my own life. So yeah. 4 universities and then I earned my Bachelor's degree. Never let anyone tell you you can't do something.

2. I like to play tennis, despite my whale-ish physique. I think "like" is too soft of a word. I adore tennis. I would play every day if I could. Tournaments and stuff. I'll watch any tennis, at any time, on any channel. I love it.

3. I got married 7 months after graduating from high school. And that came after a 7-week engagement. I don't think my parental units were thrilled. But hey, I'm coming up on 13 years of marital bliss, and neither of us have died. Yet.

4. I think some of my cells are made of potatoes. I love potatoes. Any way you slice, bake, mash, hashbrown or fry 'em. Sign me up.

5. I can play the recorder very well. I even played Jingle Bells at a family Christmas party once. Srsly. I have mad musical skillz.

6. I'm a restless soul. I'm going into my 10th year of teaching. The first three years were spent as an upper grade music specialist. (Toldja about the recorder. I wasn't joking about my abilitiez.) The next four years were in 3rd grade. And this is my third year in the computer lab. I'm already feeling itchy to get another assignment, like if I stay doing something for too long I'll, well, I'll... I don't know, but it makes me nervous. So maybe I'm not restless. Maybe a better word would be psychotic. The jury is still out on that one.

7. I have major food issues--the kind you need a doctor for. For example, I don't like onions, but I simply can't get enough onion rings. I eat tomatoes like apples, but absolutely cannot stomach a cooked tomato unless it's been made into a sauce. My food cannot touch. I will not eat mushrooms in any shape, form, consistency or cooked condition. Nada. I need therapy for my food issues. Or so some say... They know who they are and they don't read this blog. Thankfully.

And...that's more than you wanted to know, right?

Right.

Since I received this award seven times, I'm going to go all wonky on you and nominate whoever I want for the Kreativ Blogger award. These are some of the best bloggers out there.

1. Lisa and Laura Roecker
2. Katie Anderson and Sarah Frances (Plot This)
3. Shelli Johannes
4. Beth Revis
5. Abby Annis
6. Tess Hilmo
7. Suzanne Palmieri
8. Jamie Theler (Bookmom Musings)
9. Aaron Polson (The Other Aaron)
10. Amanda Bonilla
11. Marybeth Smith
12. Ryan (The Life of an Aspiring Writer)
13. Katie Ganshert
14. Jenn (Purple Clover)
15. Kate Karyus Quinn
16. Jenn Johansson
17. Natalie Whipple
18. Jeanette Schneider
19. Corey Schwartz
20. Katie Salidas
21. Scott Mitchell
22. Ben Watson
23. Carol Anne Strange
24. Jessica Nelson
25. Danyelle Leafty
26. Sara Tribble
27. Casey McCormick

So go check them out. Follow. Comment. You won't be sorry.

I also received the Silver Shoe of Sincerity Award, again from NWA. Thanks Novice! No rules except one. The person you pass it on to has to show absolute sincerity in their comments. So many of you do this here on my blog, which I appreciate immensely.

But the one I picked?

Scott Mitchell. He deserves the sparkly shoe for his awesome, well-thought out comments and witty snark. Do witty and snark mean the same thing? *shrugs* I like it.

And Christine Fonseca. Ha! I can pick two if I want. Who's going to stop me? Ooh, blog police! We should totally form a squad or something. Anyway, she gets 'da shoe for always commenting, her unending reserves of patience, and for talking me off the ledge on a daily basis.

Thanks guys!

And one final award. I received the Literary Blogger Award from my good pal, Ali Cross. She's in my critique group and really gets me. The hair, the horrible hyena laugh, all of it. Thanks Ali! Can't wait for Tuesday night! And you should go read what she said about me, cuz it brought a little tear to my eye. Shocking, I know. You guys didn't peg me for a crier, didja? I'm all about the surprise element. I'm kind of like a ninja in that regard.

I also received this award from Jenna at As the Plot Thickens. She had rules on hers. I guess I get to pass this one on to whoever I want.

Hmmm...

How about those 27 people up there? Yeah, let's go with them. Heck, let's throw all reason out the door (I'm the captain of the newly formed Blog Police Patrol. Hey! The BPP! You down with BPP? Yeah, you know me! Ahem.), and say that if your name or blog appears anywhere in this post, you get the Literary Blogger Award. Congrats! You guys know that I read blogs like I breathe air, so I really do nominate you all. The world would be a sad, dark place without blogs.

Have a good one. I swear I'm not going to do any other blogging this week. I swear I swear I swear.

My Characters...Yeah, All Right. They're Me

Do you create characters based on yourself?

I didn't used to think I did. But I totally do.

Now, see, I'm a pretty straight arrow. The worst thing I do is drive too fast. I'm polite to the elderly. I stop for pedestrians. I register my children for sports and school before the deadline. I'm almost always early. I always did my homework in high school. On time. I love to read. I got straight A's. I was in the marching band.

Some of you have a G-word for people like me. Go ahead. Say it. You know you want to.

Anyway, so to escape my G-ness, I created some characters. I put them in bad situations and laugh at them. Then I try to figure out how to get them out. It's called writing a book.

The thing is, most of the characters I've created are me in some way. Not every way, of course, but one little quality. The girl who can't ever think of a clever comeback (me). The one who wishes they could run fast (me). The one who loves the beach (me). The person who served on the yearbook committee (me).

I find that I can write these characters with authenticity...because they're really a small part of me.

I deliberately have my characters do things I don't, too. This helps me shed some of my G-ness I think. Or maybe it makes me a bigger one? I do not know.

A girl who can control fire (not me). But how cool would that be? The one who has all this rude stuff to say and actually says it (not me). Sometimes her mouth gets her in trouble. The girl who gets all the guys (not me).

These characters are even easier to write for me. That seems weird, like they should be harder because they're not me. But dude, haven't you always wanted to shed your skin and assume an alternate identity? Or is that just me? When I write, I can be anyone. I can be that girl who says exactly what's on her mind. And it's fun.

So maybe my characters really are all me. A bit here. A little piece there. Imagined or real, it ain't no thing. They're all me!

What about you? Are your characters like you? Even a little bit? Not at all? Which is harder for you to write?

Outlining My WiP - Does That Count As Writing?

My WiP is whipping me. Really hard. This idea is not totally fleshed out and it's killing me. And my characters are supposed to be the dead ones! Argh!

So instead of doing actual writing on the story, per say, I've been compiling information about my characters. And yes, even making a basic plot outline (*shudders*) of where I want things to go and all that. It's going to be a mystery, so I have to do some planning. I need motivation. I need things to line up. I need my alternate world to make sense. Maybe this whole I-don't-outline thing is what's killing me. So I gave it a try. Seriously, I don't know how anyone outlines. It was a complete and utter nightmare and I only felt more frustrated afterward. Like I didn't accomplish a friggin' thing except neglect my child and eat a lot of Swedish fish. I need someone to post on outlining. Anyone?

But the whole character profiling has been helpful. I've been really focusing on weaving in some small details about each person that will end up being important to the mystery. Of course, I don't know who the culprit will be (heck, I don't even know what the mystery is! Death? Maybe. Something stolen? Perhaps. I really don't know yet), but I do know I want this novel to have interesting and quirky characters, so I've been more focused on that. I feel like this is an element that is always missing in my first drafts, and I'm trying to get some things down FIRST this time.

It's been interesting. Different. A little exciting, but mostly frustrating. Like I said in a post last week, I don't really know the characters, so this whole writing-down-traits has been difficult and slow in coming. Which is probably a good thing with how busy I've been in my real life.

So anyway. I had about 4 K in my actual novel. It didn't work with my new "outline" (and trust me that has to be in quotes. Those of you who outline, I really don't know how you do it. It's become the dirty O-word at my house) and so all 4,000 words got the axe. Toldja I wasn't afraid of the delete key.

I have at least that much (4 K) in my character bible. Stuff you probably wouldn't need to know, but that *I* need to know. This helped me so much that I started writing again on Monday and wrote about 2000 words that day! At least I knew where to start and where I wanted to go. And those are two pretty important things in writing.

So how's your writing coming along? Post your own version of Work in Progress Wednesday. Feel free to steal the WiP graphic and be sure to wave from the bandwagon!

7 Personality Characteristics You Need to Get Published

by Elana Johnson, Carolyn Kaufman, and Suzette Saxton

Agents and editors deal with hundreds of queries, synopses, proposals, and chapters every month. Whether you realize it or not, your approach to the process has a lot to do with whether or not your work will ever reach publication. Here are the 7 characteristics necessary to achieving your dreams!

Characteristic 1: Commitment to Growth

The first thing every real writer needs is a willingness to learn and grow. All agents or editors—no matter how busy—are interested in quality work. The first step: write the best book you can. That means you’ll probably need to brush up on grammar, syntax, sentence structure, and plotting. Don’t give someone an excuse to reject your work because you’ve either never learned or forgotten how to write in an active voice.

Research local or online writing workshops and sign up for a writing conference or two to jump start your creative juices and brush up on what it takes to become a published author. Join a critique group to help yourself develop a critical eye for grammar, sentence structure and plot in the writing of others. Then apply what you learn to your own writing. When you view writing as a life-long learning experience, you've taken the first step to becoming published.

Characteristic 2: Humility

Completing a project is an accomplishment, and one you should be proud of—just not too proud to miss places you still might be able to improve. Chances are, you did forget a comma somewhere. Or spelled a word wrong. Or didn't tie up that loose end. Or tried to cram in too many subplots. Or something. When you share your work with critique buddies, really listen to their feedback. If an agent is kind enough to offer advice, thank him or her and then consider making the changes to your manuscript.

Characteristic 3: Self-Confidence

On the flip-side of humility is self-confidence; you’ll need both in equal measure.
Not to be confused with arrogance—there is a difference! Getting published is usually an uphill battle. Everyone along the way will have an opinion about your work, and not all of those opinions will be positive! Most agents reject between 95% and 99% of all queries they see, and editors are even harder to win over.

Even after you make it through the gauntlet of agents, editors, and other decision-makers, you’ll have to face book reviewers and bloggers. You must believe in yourself enough not only to go through the whole process, but also to endure the onslaught that follows. Once you've acquired the skills of a writer, a sense of self-confidence will help you recognize that your hours of research, learning, and growing are going to pay off.

Characteristic 4: Perseverance

Once you've produced the very best story you can, built your self-confidence, and balanced it with humility, it’s time to submit. Research agents and editors and only submit to those who are a good match for your project. And don't just submit to one agent or editor. Or two. Or even ten. Keep going until you find one who loves your work!

And don't stop writing while you submit. Maybe your first book won’t make as big of a splash as you’re hoping. Maybe your second—or your fifth—novel will be the one to land that dream agent and publishing contract. Author Dan Brown published three books before he scored a worldwide bestseller with The DaVinci Code.

Characteristic 5: Professionalism

Understand that publishing is a business, and that agents and editors are trying to find books publishers—and eventually readers—will want to spend their hard-earned money to buy. That means you need to conduct yourself like a professional. While this might seem obvious, you must treat everyone you deal with, from agents’ assistants all the way up to publishing heads, with courtesy. Even if you don’t like what they’re telling you.

Never send hate mail back to agents or editors. (You might be surprised how often publishing professionals have to deal with this.) Also realize that form responses are normal — if you had to read hundreds of queries every month, you’d send them too! Don't take rejection as a personal attack—it's just business.

Characteristic 6: Patience

It takes patience to see your dream of being published come true. Not only patience to write the book—which doesn't happen in a single sitting—but patience to wait for responses from beta readers, critique groups, and then agents, editors, and publishers. Some respond immediately. Some are a little slower, but will respond eventually. And some won’t respond at all. In each case, your patience will be tried.

Characteristic 7: Luck

Before you decide that you’re doomed because you’ve never won the lottery (or even a door prize drawing), you need to know that we’re talking about the kind of luck you make for yourself. There is an old Chinese tenet, “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.” So first, be prepared. And then cultivate your own luck. Lucky writers behave in ways that create good fortune in their lives. For example, they read agent and industry blogs to get a feel for what different agents like. They notice and act upon chance opportunities, follow their intuition, look for the bright side of every situation, and are certain their future is promising. Their outlook becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy, creating the perfect environment for “luck” to flourish. Remember, it only takes one positive response!

Plus One: Indomitable Spirit

Incorporating these seven traits will result in the indomitable spirit necessary to succeed in the publishing industry. What is Indomitable Spirit? It’s an attitude or state of mind in which you are impossible to frighten or defeat. Never, never, never give up on your dreams.

“People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bio box:
Elana Johnson finished college against nearly-impossible odds, a struggle much like dealing with the publishing world. Visit her at elanajohnson.blogspot.com for more publishing insights. Visit psychologist/writer Carolyn Kaufman at archetypewriting.com and learn more about how to use psychology accurately in your writing. Find “The Bone Setter,” Suzette Saxton’s most recently published work, here: http://www.mindflights.com/item.php?sub_id=4283.