Why I Strongly Dislike Halloween

Yeah, yeah, I know some of you are shocked at the title of this post. Aghast. Shaking your head, disbelieving.

But it's true. I loathe Halloween with most fibers of my being. The reasons for this are many and varied.

1. My parents never bought me nice costumes as a kid. They scarred me! Scarred, I say! (I usually ended up being some lame smurf or something I could do with my own (pathetic) wardrobe. Totally ghetto.)

2. If I want candy, I'll just go to Wal-mart and buy some. Okay, probably not Wal-mart because that's definitely not my favorite place on the planet, but I have the means to get my own chocolate fix.

3. I've spent my life trying to blend into the crowd. I absolutely do not understand a holiday where the sole point is to dress like an idiot and have people stare at you. Not my brand of fun.

4. I teach elementary school. I don't think this needs any explainage, because seriously. 800 children all hopped up on Halloween excitement and cowboy hats and batman masks? Yet again, not something I'd categorize as "fun."

5. It's too stinkin' cold to leave the house after 5 PM on October 31st in Utah. Brrrr.

So there. I totally respect your right to like/love/worship Halloween. But I so don't.

What about you? Halloween fan? What other holidays do you enjoy/not enjoy?

Why I Am Human

So there's been some talk on the blogosphere about my clones, how I somehow buy hours on the black market, you know, stuff like that.

Lies! All lies!

I am human. I only have 24 hours in the day. And I sleep for 8 of those every day. I work part-time outside my home, and sometimes I make dinner. Sometimes I don't. I do have time during the day where I'm home alone while my two kids are at school.

I think the only thing I have going for me is my extreme typing skills. I can type fast. Maybe that allows me to answer emails quicker or leave blog comments quicker. I don't know. But I do know that I'm just like you.

Human.

Maybe I have a system for getting to blogs quickly. Maybe I have more "free time" than you do. Maybe I don't write as much as you do. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

But if you cut me, I still bleed red.

I am not super-charming in person. I'm socially awkward and I laugh too loud. I never know what to say or what not to say. I monopolize the conversation sometimes. Sometimes I don't say what I should. Sometimes my feelings are hurt. Sometimes I hurt others.

Just as I'm sure you have. See, you and I, we're not all that different.

I cry. (Unprettily.) I laugh. (Too loud.) I work. (Hard.) I email. (Too much.) I long for things I don't have. (More than I should.) I look at new cars on the Internet and dream of buying them. (Dodge Charger.) I read. (I *heart* books.) I listen to Pandora. (Glee Cast and Kesha FTW!)

Just like you.

I am human.

So...any questions? I swear I only type with two hands. Have you ever felt like someone has unrealistic expectations of you? How do you live under that weight?

And see how I have like, 2 more followers to 1600? Don't you think we should have some sort of party at 1600? What should we do? December is my birthday month, and I don't have a pay it forward event lined up... Hmm... brain churnage...

Why I Cried Last Week

Oh, come on. You like the crying posts, I know you do. #youknowI'mababy #dealwithit

So I don't cry very often. Okay, only every week. Or whatever. But I've been feeling some angst. #sowhatelseisnew? #I'memotionallyintense #justaskmycritgroup

And I got an email that said this: "You're not the same girl who had to query and query and query."

That statement hit me like a ton of bricks. And I teared up. #sobfest Because the emailer* was so right. I've been living as someone I'm not. Or rather, someone I used to be. And it's time to stop living in that angst, that cesspool, as that girl.

She once was. I used to be her.

I'm working on silencing her, but she's very loud sometimes. Luckily, Bawl Baby Elana cries louder. But seriously, Query-Until-Your-Eyes-Bleed-Elana is part of who I am, but she does not get to define me now. I need to let her go.

So I'm going to.

Who do you need to cut loose? What part of yourself clings to you, maybe dictates your behavior? And when's the last time you had your own personal #sobfest?

*Names will not be released. #ifItoldyouI'dhavetokillyou

Why I Wrote POSSESSION

So I've had people in my real life asking me this question: "What's your book about?" or "Why did you write this book?"

So okay, I thought I'd expound a little.

First, some facts:
1. POSSESSION used to be titled CONTROL ISSUES. If you've heard me talk about that before, it's the same book.
2. POSSESSION was the third novel I completed. The first two are terrible with a capital T.
3. I wrote POSSESSION in 17 days in April 2008. It was 90,000 words. This upcoming published version is about 77K.
4. I edited POSSESSION at least 20 billion times, some lightly, some heavy, some in between. This is the life of a pantser.

So there's all that.

But why did I write it? Where did the idea come from?

I can't pinpoint the time and day when I thought about the overall idea for POSSESSION. I wanted to write a dystopian novel, because I'd just read UGLIES by Scott Westerfeld (go, now. read. love). I'd never written a dystopian novel before--in fact I'd never considered writing science fiction before.

That's what geeks did, right? Um...don't answer that.

I'd been thinking a lot about my life, and the choices I'd made that had led me to where I was, and that led to the question: What would life be like if we couldn't make our own choices?

And bam! Instant brainwashing society. Just add words. So I did. I added more and more words. And a generous helping of cute boy. A pinch of angst. A teaspoon of betrayal. A handful of snark.

And POSSESSION was formed. It's not quite ready to be born yet, but I'm anxiously anticipating it's book birthday on June 7* 2011.

Favorite quote from POSSESSION: If I fell, I'd kill the stupid bad boy for making me climb up here.

So why are you writing your current WiP? Where do your ideas come from? And most important: are you a science fiction geek?

*date subject to change

Why I Like Bacon Like Vampires Like Blood

It's more a need, a craving. I mean, it's bacon. Salted, cured meat. How can anyone pass it up??

So just like vampires have this extreme craving, this unquenchable thirst for blood, I feel this way about my salted, cured meats.

Especially bacon. The crispiness. The salty explosion on your tongue.

I love it. I cannot get enough of it. Just thinking about bacon makes my mouth water. I'm sure vampires go through this too. I've read enough stories to feel their hunger, see their delight at the thought of bacon, er, blood.

It's one of my favorite foods. What do you like they way vampires like blood? (Translation: What's your favorite food?)

Why I Write Young Adult

Okay, so this is a new series I'm starting. No trifecta. #dangitall

Just me. I'm calling it my "Why I" series, and it'll range from writing topics to food to Why I Dye My Hair. Okay, that one is lame, but you get the gist.

Today: Why I Write Young Adult

So I started writing just after Thanksgiving in the year 2007. I never wanted to be a writer (I know, that's like a cardinal sin or something). I hated English. I took the AP test as a junior in high school for the sole purpose of being able to skip English as a senior.

I did not take English in college. I majored in Chemistry Education before switching to Elementary Ed, with a math minor.

That's like, as far from English as you can get.

So I'm teaching school. Raising my family.

Then something devastating happened to me. I won't bore you with the details. But I will say that I vanished. Became ghostly. I disappeared inside my pain. My days were gray. My husband would ask me how my day was, and I couldn't answer.

Because it was just another day and I'd made it through.

I'm sure we've all had times like this in our lives. And if you haven't, color yourself lucky.

So, I'd been living-but-not-living for about three months when Thanksgiving came around. Two weeks later, I'd be turning 30.

So I sat down to write a personal history of the first three decades of my life. And it was theraputic. I could get the yuck out in words.

When the personal history was done, I immediately started writing a novel. It was not something I knew how to do. I'd never looked at books as more than an escape.

And as I was writing my first (very terrible) novel, I realized that all the angst, depression, etc. inside could live on the page. And if it was living on the page, then it wasn't living inside me.

What better character to carry that angst, confusion, anger, hopelessness, mingled with some rays of light (I'm not all thunderheads and frowny faces), than a teenage girl? I mean, seriously.

So that's why I write YA (almost always girls). It's the perfect place for me to unload my emotional baggage. Betcha didn't think I was going to go there, did ya?

Well.

Why do you write in the genre you've chosen?