Why I Am Human

So there's been some talk on the blogosphere about my clones, how I somehow buy hours on the black market, you know, stuff like that.

Lies! All lies!

I am human. I only have 24 hours in the day. And I sleep for 8 of those every day. I work part-time outside my home, and sometimes I make dinner. Sometimes I don't. I do have time during the day where I'm home alone while my two kids are at school.

I think the only thing I have going for me is my extreme typing skills. I can type fast. Maybe that allows me to answer emails quicker or leave blog comments quicker. I don't know. But I do know that I'm just like you.

Human.

Maybe I have a system for getting to blogs quickly. Maybe I have more "free time" than you do. Maybe I don't write as much as you do. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

But if you cut me, I still bleed red.

I am not super-charming in person. I'm socially awkward and I laugh too loud. I never know what to say or what not to say. I monopolize the conversation sometimes. Sometimes I don't say what I should. Sometimes my feelings are hurt. Sometimes I hurt others.

Just as I'm sure you have. See, you and I, we're not all that different.

I cry. (Unprettily.) I laugh. (Too loud.) I work. (Hard.) I email. (Too much.) I long for things I don't have. (More than I should.) I look at new cars on the Internet and dream of buying them. (Dodge Charger.) I read. (I *heart* books.) I listen to Pandora. (Glee Cast and Kesha FTW!)

Just like you.

I am human.

So...any questions? I swear I only type with two hands. Have you ever felt like someone has unrealistic expectations of you? How do you live under that weight?

And see how I have like, 2 more followers to 1600? Don't you think we should have some sort of party at 1600? What should we do? December is my birthday month, and I don't have a pay it forward event lined up... Hmm... brain churnage...