Motivation

Yeah, okay, I don't have any. Basically here's the low-down.

1. I've been rewriting my book.
2. Finished (yay!)
3. Had a weird moment where I thought the first 2/3 were actually good.
4. Maniacal laughing.
5. Sent it off to betas. (just the first 100 pages)
6. Two crits come back.
7. Status: Not bad. Fixable. Embarrassing slips/mistakes. No problemo. Cut, reword, done.
8. Send the first 100 to gammas.
9. Get opinions before they're done reading on the beginning.
10. Get third beta read back.
11. Now have three opinions that basically say the same thing.

*insert WALL here*

*stone*

*mortar*

*twenty feet high*

*with guards*

*guards with guns*

I see what they're saying. My problem? I have absolutely no motivation to do it.

Why? (imagine that in my best whiny voice) Why don't I want to dive right back in and fix this? Do I agree? Does that matter? Do I go with my gut? What is my gut even saying? Maybe I'll just go watch High School Musical 3 again. For the fourth time this week.

What do you do when you don't have the motivation to work on your novel?

Create People

Um, I forgot to tell you how to get in touch with me.

For those of you who posted on my Desire to Create post, I need you to email me at elanajohnson (at) gmail (dot) com with your name, address and gender. I swear I'm not going to be, like, compiling a list I'm gonna sell for big bucks to those people who want you to take a million surveys. I would like to deliver something appropriate in a reasonable amount of time. So yeah. Email, please. (Plus, I think I just need an email check. I swear mine isn't working. There are so many crickets out there. So if anyone else just wants to say hi, that's fine too!)

Finding the Silver Lining

I think I need a new body. One that can't feel pain. I've been inflicted with yet another sinus infection. The doctor thinks that it's the same one I had in September and it never went away. So he put me on a really strong antibiotic. When I say really strong, I mean like uber-strong knocks-you-out antibiotic. At first I thought it wasn't that bad. Even though the pharmacist said not to take it with calcium (yes, I obeyed) that it might make me dizzy, to avoid sunlight, and that I might have some less-than-desired side effects. I took it Friday and felt like I was on top of the world.

Saturday...not so much. I was dizzy and I had some, um, bathroom issues. Saturday night, I woke up with severe stomach cramps and I couldn't get off the couch all day Sunday. So on top of the horrible pounding where my brain is trying to squish my eyes out of their sockets, the post-nasal drip of mucus, and any amount of blinding light, I was now dealing with the whole stomach flu thing.

I couldn't believe one person could live through so much. Seriously. Yet I am still alive. I ate and managed to keep it down. And...then I got heartburn. Come on, body! What else can happen? Why won't you just cooperate? I mean, it was a frozen pizza, not Chinese food. Argh. And ouch.

And today it's back to the brain cancer trying to pound it's way through my skull. Sigh. At least I got a lot of writing done yesterday (3277 words for NaNo). See how I always find the silver lining in every situation? The sparkly, shiny lining behind the heartburn, intestinal problems, mucus, headaches, insomnia, and infections. They're always there. Thank goodness for that.