Query Letter Advice: Let Someone Else Write It!

Lime tart to the right of the computer. That may or may not be my gmail...

 Okay, so I spend quite a bit of time at my local library, writing. I copyedited most of ABANDON at the library. I sneak in cherry limeades from Sonic, and baked potatoes, and mini sweet tarts. I wear headphones, I turn off the Internet, and I get so much done!

Erin actually works...

Well, when I have projects to work on. (Don't judge me! I'm between projects.)

For the past several weeks, I've been meeting with a friend of mine, Erin Summerill. She is one of the best photographers I know (she took my author photo!), and you should definitely like her Facebook page so you know about her contests! She's giving away some headshots later this month.

When she's not snapping photos, we meet at the library. She writes while I, uh, answer email and read on my Kindle, and sometimes tweet.

So we were there last week with the Pegster, and I was whining about how I didn't have anything to work on. Erin said, "I know what you can do! You can write my query letter."

I already knew a little bit about her book, but I told her to tell me about it. She starts talking, and I'm typing a few notes here and few details there. She's still talking. I stop typing. I was totally rude, actually, and I said, "I've got it. I don't need to know any more."

It's actually better in pictures. Here you go:

Erin tells me about her book.

"I just can't fit in ALL THE THINGS!"

The most exciting part...

"Stop," I say. "I got it. I can write it."

And that's the thing right there, my friends. The reason you can't write your query letter is because you know ALL THE THINGS.

Today's advice: Don't write your own query letter. Ask a good friend to do it for you. Tell them the basics (or what you think are the basics), and let them craft the letter.

I can pretty much guarantee that what you think are the basics won't all make it into the query. There just isn't room. Really the query is the setup of your novel -- think, "What does someone need to know to understand my main conflict?" -- and the inciting incident that leads to the main conflict. It's what you write in the first 30 - 50 pages of the book.

After that, all the query letter needs is the consequence. Think, "What will happen if my MC can't overcome the main conflict?"

We seriously don't need anything besides that.

So I wrote Erin's query and I sent it to her. Now, it's probably not perfect. The voice might be a bit off. Some details might not be quite right. She might not like the way I crafted a sentence. But at least now she has a starting point. A piece of writing that ONLY HAS THE BASICS of the book and not ALL THE THINGS she has in her head.

This method works because the query letter was written by someone who is free from all the things.

So there you go. Stumped on your query letter? Ask someone else to draft it for you! Then, of course, you'd edit it the same way you edit your manuscript. With love, and care, and possibly a few more sets of eyes on it.

What do you think? Have you ever thought to have someone else write your initial query letter? Do you think it might actually work? 

Tuesday Two-Fer

Okay, so there's more than two things, but everything else I tried for the title of this post sounded lame.

A couple of things I really want you to know about:

1. Simon & Schuster's "Something To Read About" Book Club Sampler. It is amazing--and not only because POSSESSION is one of the nine books you can feature for your book club. EVERY book has a note from the author, a novel-inspired recipe, the first chapter, and book club questions.

I'm in love with it so much, I changed my header to the banner for Possession. You can get the Sampler in several ways. Click here to get it on your Kindle from Amazon (I had it delivered to my smart phone). Click here to see the other easy ways to get the Sampler, including as a PDF file, right on your computer, or from one of the 8 e-retailers. (I, uh, did all three. *grins*)

Also, stay tuned for some more awesome with the Sampler! Plans for an epic giveaway are afoot.

2. I am doing a Live Query Event in conjunction with Dave Farland's Authors' Advisory Conference Calls. You can submit your query to Robin Weeks, the coordinator, and I will critique it beforehand and discuss it on the conference call that day! FULL DETAILS HERE.

3. The POSSESSION Virtual Launch Party!! Oh my heck, you guys. Ali Cross, Christine Fonseca, and Lisa & Laura Roecker have made the fansite into paradise. Go check it out. Mark your calendars for THURSDAY, JUNE 16 because we're going to be partying that day all over the universe. (Well, twitter, Facebook, blogs, the fansite...)

There will be a live chat with me that evening at 7 PM MST--plenty of time for you to get the book on June 7 and come armed with all your questions/concerns/reactions! There will be giveaways in the forums, on the chat, and on twitter that day.

Seriously. You don't want to miss this.

I think that's all for today. I do have more stuff, but I think there's only so much awesome a person can handle at one time. So yeah.

What should I have named this post? Got anything good? Have you ever had too much awesome? Is such a thing even possible?

Hodge Podge of Goodness

Okay, I'm in outline hell, so I want everyone know that this post is stemming from that. So take off your judgement hats, okay? Okay.

First, one of my bloggy friends posted this about overpromotion yesterday. It was brilliant. So go read what Scott Tracey has to say. Consider what you're doing to make a name for yourself. Also, I blogged about something similar, though not nearly as punchy, back in January. Read this if you've forgotten or are new here.

As if that weren't enough, Tahereh Mafi pretty much blogged about the same thing. Even with the same words. It's just proof that we're like long-lost twins or something. Though I don't think she knows this... Anyway, go read her post too. It's good. (And maybe she'll design me a wicked cool badge or something, because now she knows we're long-lost sisters. Hey, a girl can hope.)

Rapid Topic Change: It's my son's birthday! Par-tay!

Rapid Topic Change with a Question: I got some photos taken. Are you in favor of telling me which one looks the nicest, say, sometime next week? Or is that in the arena of "Dude, we don't freaking care about you. Blog for us!" I'm okay with either, so yeah. Lemme know.

Name That Movie From This Quote: "And that's not even what they eat. That just falls off what they eat!!" and you can win a query critique from me. That's right. Just name the movie (in the comments).

Toldja today was random, but good. What's random-good in your life?

Don't Hate Me, But...

...I like writing query letters!

I really do. I've been reading a lot of blogs lately. Okay, not just lately, but all the time. (It was worth a try.) And I've noticed something: it seems that most people don't like writing a query letter.

I just don't have the same dislike.

In fact, I quite like writing my queries. I usually have the query letter done before the manuscript is completely written. It's not like I have to know how the book ends to write the query. Right?

I'm going to share a query letter I wrote for a novel that currently has 6000 words penned. And they are all made of "teh suck" and need to be deleted. In fact, I have a goal to write this book by hand, and I'm going to start over completely. Oh, and some of you will get a kick out of this: it's the same novel that I "outlined" a few weeks ago. Ha ha!

Here's the query for that "outline", for a book I haven't even really started on yet.

Sixteen-year-old Penelopie Baker has died 67 times can feel death approaching like you can feel rain falling on your skin. Penny thinks her 68th death will get her one step closer to being able to reclaim her lost life, but she’s dead (lol) wrong.

Because the death she feels is not her own, but that of a friend. Everyone thinks the drowning was an accident--until another classmate croaks under mysterious conditions. In order to get her years of service counted for this 68th life, Penny and her Servant partner, Blake, set out to find the true cause for two suspicious teenage deaths so close to home.

What they find makes all the bloody deaths they’ve experienced seem like pinpricks. They must find a way to bring the true murderer to justice or their next death will be permanent.

DYING TO LIVE is a young adult mystery, complete at 70,000 words.

I'm not saying this is, like, perfect or anything. I'd like to think it's pretty good, and that you could tell what the novel is about from it. Yes? No?

Like I said, I like writing the query letter almost as much, or more, than writing the novel. So much, that in this case, I wrote the query FIRST. What kind of crazy pills am I on? Or is this just another distraction tactic? You tell me.

I mean, you could try this guy's method, but I wouldn't recommend it. (But isn't that pic hilarious?)


So, of course, me being a human of the curious kind, I want to know WHY 99% of writers out there don't like writing the query. What's so bad about it?

Writing A Query Letter - Part Five: Everything Else

The Hook, The Setup, The Conflict, and The Consequence are the four parts of the query letter. I believe you can write a killer query using those four parts.

I studied my query and decided that although it had received some praise, it could be better. Since the query letter is the gateway to getting your manuscript read, I wanted to have the shiniest gate I could.

And so I set out to accomplish it. I worked—hard. I broke my query letter down into the four parts and worked on them individually. Then I studied the query letters of others. I printed out the query letters of authors who had landed agents. I emailed friends who I knew had received significant requests and begged them to let me see their queries. Then I sat down at the kitchen counter and spread the queries out on the counter. I started at the top, took notes, and wrote my query by hand. This didn't just "happen." I made it happen. You can too.

Everything Else:

1. Title and Word Count
Some agents say to dive right into the book. Some want the genre and word count up front. Do your research and switch the parts around according to the agent's tastes. But generally, I like to start my query with the title (in all caps) and word count with a lead into my hook.

I am pleased to submit for your consideration my young adult urban fantasy, THE MIRROR. In this 95,000-word tale of magic, mystery and romance, sixteen-year-old Annie Jenkins must control the magic to balance the realm. It's too bad her unknown abilities are hidden beneath her inhalant addiction.

2. Marketing and Comparisons
I noticed that almost all of the query letters had some sort of paragraph after the blurb that told a little more about their book. Marketing, a twist on something, a comparison to published books. Something. So I crafted one of those for my novel.

Not just another ghost story, the Shadows in THE MIRROR bring a magical twist to life beyond death. THE MIRROR will appeal to readers who enjoy the paranormality of A GREAT AND TERRIBLE BEAUTY, and also to those who fell in love with the romance of TWILIGHT.

3. The bio
Many authors agonize over this. I have no publishing credits, so I simply omit this portion of the query. Many agents advise the same thing.

Then you need to wrap it up with a simple, "If you would like to consider THE MIRROR, I'd be happy to forward the complete manuscript at your request. [I put requested material here, like if they ask for the first three chapters, the first five pages, etc. Maybe a personal blurb about their blog or something if I feel it's relevant.]"

And end with, "Thank you for your time and consideration."

So my query looks like this:

I am pleased to submit for your consideration my young adult urban fantasy, THE MIRROR. In this 95,000-word tale of magic, mystery and romance, sixteen-year-old Annie Jenkins must control the magic to balance the realm. It's too bad her unknown abilities are hidden beneath her inhalant addiction.

Whenever she's high, Annie has vivid visions of a death she can't remember and a boy she's never met. When she meets Jonathan Clarke, the ghostly boy from her hallucinations, she realizes her drug use has masked the abilities she's inherited from her magic-keeping mother. Wielding magic isn't everything it's cracked up to be; Annie discovers her newfound powers can't cure her terminally ill mother.

Annie learns she has the rare power to bring immortal beings (Shadows) living in another realm back into the human world. Jon has been searching for someone with Annie’s Mirror power for a century. He's desperate for her to restart his heart so he can become human again, but his Reflection can't be completed until she balances the magic. Their problems double when she learns there are evil Shadows who plan to kill her and take control of the realm. One of Jon's old friends is leading the resistance and attempts to recruit him, while Annie discovers one of her friends is really working against her. If Jon and Annie can't find a way to achieve balance, Reflections and potions won't do any good. There is no spell to revive the dead.

Not just another ghost story, the Shadows in THE MIRROR bring a magical twist to life beyond death. THE MIRROR will appeal to readers who enjoy the paranormality of A GREAT AND TERRIBLE BEAUTY, and also to those who fell in love with the romance of TWILIGHT.

If you would like to consider THE MIRROR, I'd be happy to forward the complete manuscript at your request.

Thank you for your time and consideration,

ElanaJ

I hope you've found something useful you can use in The Writing of your Query Letter. Please feel free to email me at elanajohnson@QueryTracker.net if you have a specific question about queries or to discuss anything query related. Good luck!

ELITE

ELITE is a young adult paranormal novel. Think X-Men meets Heroes, all while trying to fit in at your new prep school in another country. That's life for fifteen-year-old Hunter Poulsen, who thinks his ability to see numbers is a curse.

Hunter doesn't understand how unique, how valuable, how wicked awesome his ability is, until he's forced to move to Toronto and he winds up at Fenway's Academy for the Arts. Confused about why he's enrolled at a school for fine arts when he can't draw a straight line, Hunter discovers he's the only student in classes like Ancient Numbering Systems and Decimals, Percents, and Fractions.

Someone at Fenway's knows his secret.

Mingling among the next piano virtuosos, Hunter discovers the academy is a front for the real students with talents. He becomes the eighth and final member of the secret Elite team, a group of students with "talents" like aura detection, twisting time, and shifting into teapots. Hunter's ability to literally see the numerical information that underpins the modern world—on walls, sidewalks, even plastered on people's chests—is rare. Now someone at Fenway's wants to exploit it.

When the team breaks into a bank to retrieve a mysterious yellow envelope, Hunter realizes that the Elitists are pulling more than just pranks, they're training to be criminals. He'll have to work with his friends—and his enemies—to find the source of deception before the cops show up demanding answers.

I am a graduate of Southern Utah University, with a B.S. in Elementary Education and a minor in Mathematics. I have been teaching elementary school for nine years and live in Utah with my husband and two young children.

At 85,000 words, ELITE stands alone, but I have begun the second in the Fenway's Academy series, THE BIG SHOW.

MIND POWER

In a world where Thinkers control the population and The Rules are not meant to be broken, fifteen-year-old Vivian Schoenfeld does a spectacular job of shattering them to pieces.

Refusing to listen to The Tapes and walking in the park after dark with a boy land Vi in prison. The Good are usually separated from the Bad, but Vi finds herself sharing a cell with beautiful Bad boy, Jag Barque.

Because Jag and Vi are Free-Thinkers, they're banished to the Badlands, a place Vi has always feared, but secretly wants to go. Until she gets there. Secrets about her missing father and dead sister, combined with who—or what—she really is, lead her down a difficult road. Falling for Jag further complicates Vi's life as she faces her new role, one she's always despised—being In Control.

A dystopian science fiction novel for young adults, MIND POWER is complete at 89,000 words.

SHADOWS / THE MIRROR

When it comes to saving someone, you'd think wielding magic would be enough. You'd be wrong.

Sixteen-year-old Annie Jenkins learns this the hard way when she discovers she's inherited magical abilities from her mother and has the rare ability to Reflect immortal beings back into the human world. Sure, that power is great, if the magic were balanced enough to use it. It's not, and it's Annie's job to bring equilibrium to the Shadows—magically transformed humans existing between life and death. When she finds out she also doesn't have the capability to cure her terminally ill mother, Annie realizes magic isn't as great as everyone thinks.

Determined not to become an orphan, Annie throws herself into her training, learning protections, how to make potions, and transporting to new locations to bring the magic back into balance. She's distracted by Jonathan Clarke, a mysterious and dangerous Shadow, who's been searching for someone with Annie's Mirror power for one hundred years. He desperately needs Annie to become human again, and she desperately needs his healing abilities to save her mom.

With the magic out of balance, an old rebellion escalates, putting Annie at the top of the hit list and Jon's transformation on hold. Depleted because of her tenacious training, Annie wavers in her decision to Reflect Jon, he's recruited by the opposition, and their friends may be their biggest enemies. If Jon and Annie can't find a way to overcome the dissenters, transformations and potions won't do any good. There is no spell to revive the dead.