Following the Guidelines

Okay, so I'm querying again, and I've got my Tweetdeck all set up with the #MSWL and #tenqueries threads, among others. It's amazing to me that I keep seeing things like, "Didn't follow my guidelines," or "I don't rep non-fiction, which is listed on my website."

See, I've always been a rule-follower (which is really funny that my first series is all about a girl who breaks all the rules!), and if an agent lists the way to submit to them on their blog/website, I'm going to follow it.

I think querying is one of those spots where you don't color outside the lines.

But in writing, I actually like to break a lot of guidelines. I think that's where we can and should experiment. Think about narrating a story from a unique angle, a different character than what's already out there. Try writing in multiple POV's, maybe even different tenses. Get creative with the dialog, vocabulary, or dialect.

Most of all, I think the one thing we can do as author that will serve us the best is to write the story we love. Don't worry about whether your editor or agent will like it. Don't concern yourself with how things are "supposed to be." Sure, there are some things that must be in place, especially in specific genres (like in a romance, the hero and heroine must end up together), but other than that, we only grow and improve by stretching into new and different places.

So as you're contemplating starting a new book, think about what you can do that you haven't done before. Break free of your self-imposed guidelines and write a book that you love.

Have you had any experience doing this? I've been around long enough to have experienced a lot of highs (royalty checks!) and lows (rejections!) of the business. I've reached the point where I've thrown my hands up into the air and said, "Whatever. I'm doing what I want to do."

I think my most successful novel came from that, because I wasn't trying to write something for someone else. I was just trying to write something I love -- and it turned out to be something I'd never done before: a novel in verse.

So I've been on that street that's full of the same POV, the same plot lines, the same protagonists. And while that side alley might be kind of dark, it's a great place to discover -- or re-discover -- your creativity. Don't be afraid to break free of the mob and find a new set of guidelines.

Just not when you're querying. :)

I Hate My Life Right Now

Okay, so I was looking through some old email (don't ask), and I saw this subject. I'd written the email to a friend of mine, and this was the message:

Subject: I hate my life right now
Date: 5/18/09

Message: "Okay, so [name of amazing literary agent who just wasn't for me] just rejected my full because of this: "I think your writing style is quite masterful and fluid, but I regret that the pace moved slowly for me and I worried that young readers might not get hooked by the story as quickly or as wholly as they should."

And it's my first full rejection and now all my happy energy is completely gone! Waah!!"

That was the beginning of my querying journey. I had many more fulls rejected after that. I survived.

I am still alive.

And I found my one.

You can too.

It's interesting to me to look back on emails like this and remember that desperation, despair, happiness, and/or elation. At the end of each year, I like to look back and see how far I've come. Sometimes it's farther than I thought. Sometimes, I know I need to do better.

When you look back at the last year, what do you see? Can you see how far you've come?

(And I don't really hate my life right now. I have the next 14 days off work--so it's actually the best day ever.)

Winners!
THE WRITER'S GUIDE TO PSYCHOLOGY by Carolyn Kaufman: Quinn
Bug caricatures by Neil Numberman: Jemi Fraser, Shari, and Natalie Aguirre!

Congrats all! Email me for details, okay? Okay.

Querying is a Game

It really is. If you're querying right now, you're playing a game, one where you don't have all the pieces.

If you're feeling down about some rejections you've received recently, try to remember these things (these are the pieces you don't have to play with):

1. You don't know the agent's full client list. They may have a client that writes similar books to yours. They may reject you for this.

2. They may have just picked up an author with a similar plot line to your book. They may reject you for this. (This totally happened to me. I could name names. I won't.)

3. They may only be looking for a certain genre right now -- and you don't know what that is. They may see that yours isn't what they're looking for and reject you. Does it suck?

YES.

But like I said, it's a piece you don't have, that you can't play with.

4. They may have just sold to an editor that they would pitch your book to. They can't sub every book they have to the same editor, so they may pass on yours.

This is sucktacular too.

5. Timing is king. And unfortunately, you have no idea if it's on your side or about to checkmate you. So, uh, good luck with that...

So what can you do to stay in the game?

1. Write the best book you can.
2. Don't give up.
3. Whine to your writerly friends.
4. Work harder, learn more, write better.
5. Write another book.
6. Try, try again. (Okay, this is the same as #2. But it bears repeating.) Basically, I'm saying to send more queries. Each one is like a shiny new piece, a new opportunity, that could be the card that says, "Go directly to home, collect the $200, you're a winner!"

So yeah.

What do you think? What pieces of the game are you missing? Will you keep playing until you win? I hope you do. If you feel like throwing in the towel, send me an email, okay? Okay.

The "Dream Agent"

I've heard this a lot out there on the Interwebz. "I just queried my dream agent." Or, "I don't want to query my dream agent yet." Or whatever whatever "dream agent."

And I'd like to submit something to you today. So bear with me. No doubt some of you will agree, and some of you won't. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it, though, so don't hold back.

Let's go back to my time in the query trenches. Of course I researched and I had agents I thought would be a good match for me. I queried them. And there's nothing like the rush of a request, no matter who it's from.

When I researched Michelle Andelman, I didn't find much. She doesn't run a popular blog. Lynn C. Franklin doesn't have a website (besides PM). She's not giving out query advice on twitter.

I saw that she used to be at Andrea Brown and that she was looking for YA. I added her to my list. Now since I'm a tad on the OCD side (just a tad), I dug deeper. I found interviews she'd given. I may or may not have searched for a picture. I looked up titles she'd sold. I thought, "Yeah, we'd make a good match."

And then I sent her a generic query.

She requested my full, but so did a lot of people that week.

When she emailed me to ask about my other writing, I sat up straighter. I may or may not have searched again for any information about her. I may or may not have friended her on Facebook and Twitter.

When she accepted my requests for friendship, my heart beat a little faster. (That whole first date thing, you know. We were walking in the park.)

I may or may not have stalked her FB and twitter posts. I may or may not have randomly pulled up her picture just to get a feel for the human behind the emails. I cannot confirm nor deny these claims.

But I do know one thing.

Are you ready?

She was not my "dream agent" when I queried her.

She became my dream agent when I read the words, "I love CONTROL ISSUES."

So I submit to you today: Your dream agent is the one who LOVES YOUR BOOK.

Michelle is my absolute dream agent. Not because she listens to funky music (although that is a bonus). Not because the text in her emails is pink (but dude! Pink emails? Love that). Not because in one of our recent convo's I yelled, "Shut. Up!" and she laughed and told me to keep telling her that. (I'm actually a bit embarrassed that I told my agent to shut up, but you know. Seinfeld moment.)

No. None of those things are available on the web. Michelle is my dream agent because she LOVES MY BOOK.

And I didn't know that until 4 months into our relationship.

So I think it's a bit dangerous and damaging (to your psyche) to label agents as "dream" simply because they're out there on the Interwebz and you can see them more prominently. You don't know them. You don't know what their client list is like. You don't know what the editors they've lunched with recently have said. There is absolutely no way for you to know if you'll be a good team until you've had a lot of correspondence with them.

So I think we should drop the term "dream agent."

I do think you should research your brains out and try to find people you think would be a good match for you. But I don't think we should attach a label to people we don't--can't--really know.

What do you think about this? I'm sure you (used to) have a "dream agent." Do you think this is a healthy label to put on someone? Does it hurt more when they reject you? I'm interested to know your thoughts.

Querying Is Like...

...Asking the cutest guy in school for a date, being laughed at by him and his horde of teammates and then having your picture defaced in the school yearbook by said jockaholic.

Just. Like. That.

My Querying Toolkit:
1. Supportive writerly friends (preferably on gmail so I can whine chat with them on a whim)
2. Reese's peanut butter cups and French's French fried onion thingies (chocolate + fried food = snack of champions. Er...queryers. Should that be an i? Queriers? They're both freaking me out.)
3. A new writing project (but who are we kidding??)
4. Home remodeling (or some other task that you normally abhor. Hey, it actually makes querying better, if you can believe it)

How have you endured querying? What's in your query toolkit?

The Ultimate Rejection

Yeah, so I'm addicted to reality TV. It's not like I'm ashamed about it or anything. Maybe there should be a Reality TV Anonymous or something. I'd be, like, the president. Anyway, in the summer, I love So You Think You Can Dance (What? You're not watching?? Go Kayla!) and The Next Food Network Star. A couple more things (More to Love) are starting and they all look a bit on the lame side (More to Love).

But my husband DVR'ed this one called Dating In The Dark.

That's right. Three guys. Three girls. They move into this hugene house together, the guys with the guys and the girls with the girls. You wanna sneak peek, dontya? I know you do. Click on that link up there. You have to watch a 30-second commercial before you get the teaser, but it is SOOO worth it. Trust me.

They can't see each other, like at all. They go on dates in "the darkroom" and get to know each other without the distraction of being able to see. Cuz, really, who needs that getting in the way?

Anyway, so I watched it. At the end of the show, they stand in the darkroom and get to see the other person they've been dating all this time. Then they have to decide if they want to see that person outside of the house (or the darkroom). If so, they go out onto this balcony to wait and see if the other one shows up.

Talk about brutal. Bru. Tal.

If the other one doesn't show up, what kind of holy-brown-cows-you're-a-loser rejection is that? I mean, they've spent all this time with you and then they find out what you look like, and hasta la vista?

OUCH.

On this first episode, it happened once. And the guy had to stand there and watch this girl that he liked walk away from him because of how he looked.

I almost started crying for him. Talk about the ultimate rejection. That's like ripping the band-aid off super slow and then reattaching it with super glue and peeling off each layer of skin until only bare bone is showing.

So since I've been getting a few rejections, I've related his romance rejection pain to my writing rejection pain. And you know? I think I'll take my quiet, private email over standing on the balcony with a camera in my face as I watch the other person walk away.

Of course, I'd rather not be rejected at all, but you know, it's part of the game, right? So Carolyn had this on the QT blog a week or two ago.


And I realized that most, if not all, of my rejections are coming in the blue part of the pyramid. And so I cling to hope, that there is one agent out there that my book will "fit" with.

What about you guys? How are you surviving the Rejection Rapids? Do you have the uber-supportive spouse? The cyberfriend who can make it all better? The crit group that keeps you going? Or are you, like, Iron Man or something?