Do You Know Who This Is?

Dude, you should.


Okay, it's confession time. I have branched out beyond reality TV. This is shocking, I know. Especially since the new season of Survivor starts on Thursday--and that's the original reality show. But, man, as a tried-and-true (band) geek, the new show on Fox--GLEE--has me smiling. Still.

Seriously grinning. Every time I hear Rihanna's song, Take a Bow, I feel GLEE.

When Wednesday comes, there's only one way to describe me: GLEEFUL.

I even so much as think about dancing and singing combined with high school and I'm grinning like I've gone of the GLEE end. Seriously.

I'm so glad it's Wednesday. No. Not glad. GLEE. I'm so GLEE today.  


Do I have an addictive personality? You decide.

If Writing Were A Reality TV Show

It would be The Amazing Race. Totally.

Scott posted about giving your characters problems to solve in the middle of the novel. He has some reasons why, so you should just go read his post from last week.

Anyway, immediately my brain went to reality TV. I mean, whose doesn't. *snarf*

And writing.

So writing + reality TV = The Amazing Race!

This is how I make things connect in my brain. I told you it was a scary place to be.

Anyway, have you seen the show? No? It's pairs of people (married couples, sisters, engagees, fathers/sons, whatever) and they race from place to place around the globe. If they arrive last, they're out.

But it's not that simple. Along the way, they have to complete tasks. There are two main types of tasks: Roadblocks and Detours. In a Roadblock, only one person on the team can complete the task (like climb to the top of a building and jump off). In a Detour, both members have to do something (like build a desk or find a slip of paper inside a pie) together.

Anyway, so how does this relate to writing? I'm getting there.

We all know the basis of fiction is conflict. We want to keep the reader turning pages. So we have to set up the roadblocks--the problems--we need our characters to solve. Things that will help their character arc, help them grow and change into the kind of people they need to be at the end of the book.

In The Amazing Race, roadblocks are done by one member of the team, and here's the kicker: they don't know what the task is before they choose which person will do it. So if you're deathly afraid of heights (which I am), and you have to jump off a cliff...yeah, it makes them grow and change. Makes them solve problems.

So writers tackle the roadblocks themselves. We do the actual writing ourselves (unless you happen to be the luckiest person in the world and have a kewl sister to write with. I'm looking at you guys, Lisa and Laura).

Then we finish the book. And we turn to our Detours, aka Beta Readers. They tell us where we got off track, where we need more gasoline, where we need to hit the brakes, all of it. We get to work with another person to build something beautiful.

So writing is totally like The Amazing Race! Totally! And it feels good with every leg you manage to complete. Writing THE END. Writing the query. Sending the query. Getting a request. Sending material. Even waiting.

Writing really is The Amazing Race.

What do you guys think? Isn't this an amazing journey we're all on together?

The Ultimate Rejection

Yeah, so I'm addicted to reality TV. It's not like I'm ashamed about it or anything. Maybe there should be a Reality TV Anonymous or something. I'd be, like, the president. Anyway, in the summer, I love So You Think You Can Dance (What? You're not watching?? Go Kayla!) and The Next Food Network Star. A couple more things (More to Love) are starting and they all look a bit on the lame side (More to Love).

But my husband DVR'ed this one called Dating In The Dark.

That's right. Three guys. Three girls. They move into this hugene house together, the guys with the guys and the girls with the girls. You wanna sneak peek, dontya? I know you do. Click on that link up there. You have to watch a 30-second commercial before you get the teaser, but it is SOOO worth it. Trust me.

They can't see each other, like at all. They go on dates in "the darkroom" and get to know each other without the distraction of being able to see. Cuz, really, who needs that getting in the way?

Anyway, so I watched it. At the end of the show, they stand in the darkroom and get to see the other person they've been dating all this time. Then they have to decide if they want to see that person outside of the house (or the darkroom). If so, they go out onto this balcony to wait and see if the other one shows up.

Talk about brutal. Bru. Tal.

If the other one doesn't show up, what kind of holy-brown-cows-you're-a-loser rejection is that? I mean, they've spent all this time with you and then they find out what you look like, and hasta la vista?

OUCH.

On this first episode, it happened once. And the guy had to stand there and watch this girl that he liked walk away from him because of how he looked.

I almost started crying for him. Talk about the ultimate rejection. That's like ripping the band-aid off super slow and then reattaching it with super glue and peeling off each layer of skin until only bare bone is showing.

So since I've been getting a few rejections, I've related his romance rejection pain to my writing rejection pain. And you know? I think I'll take my quiet, private email over standing on the balcony with a camera in my face as I watch the other person walk away.

Of course, I'd rather not be rejected at all, but you know, it's part of the game, right? So Carolyn had this on the QT blog a week or two ago.


And I realized that most, if not all, of my rejections are coming in the blue part of the pyramid. And so I cling to hope, that there is one agent out there that my book will "fit" with.

What about you guys? How are you surviving the Rejection Rapids? Do you have the uber-supportive spouse? The cyberfriend who can make it all better? The crit group that keeps you going? Or are you, like, Iron Man or something?

Getting Information Across, Part Three: Internal Thoughts

This is part three in a three part series. I haven't thought of anything else--yet. Mwa, ha, ha!

Part one discussed dialog and part two addressed narration.

Anyway, let's move on to internal thoughts. I'm not sure you need a lesson in what these are, but here goes. Internal thoughts are the internal thoughts of the narrating character. They are not spoken out loud and are usually offset by italics.

I'm just going to get this out there. I'm am not the hugest fan of internal thoughts. I think they are appropriate in many situations, but I think sometimes, just sometimes, they are overused. Here are a couple of reasons why:

1. Repeatage. Remember the old mantra of saying something once and moving on? I think many, many times, authors use internal thoughts to say something again. Just to get the point across that hey, this is important. And I don't think that's necessary. It's just a more annoying way to say something you've already said.

The same rule applies here that applied to dialog. Don't have your main character thinking about stuff they've already said out loud. Or have them think it and THEN say it out loud.

2. The herky jerky. Sometimes I think internal thoughts cause a disruption in the flow of narration. You've got a great thing going. Don't interrupt it with internal thinkage. This is especially true while writing in third person, because internal thoughts are in first person. And this constant switch back and forth is a bit jarring if done repeatedly.

I'm also not a proponent of having the character think to themselves, Think, think. You can do this. Um, they are thinking. They're thinking, Think, think. You can do this. Not actually thinking about the problem, so yeah. Not a fan. Also, the reader does not need to know everything the main character is thinking. We don't need a stream of conscious thought spewed out on the page and stalling the forward motion of the writing.

Now internal thoughts are a good way to get an "Eureka!" moment into the writing. Like when your main character realizes something for the first time, but wouldn't say out loud. I also think internal thoughts are great when a character thinks something that surprises them. Most of the time it completely surprises me too, but getting inside their head can really help to flesh out a character. So they have uses--and in the hands of a capable author, internal thoughts don't detract from the story, the writing, the flow. They're like seasonings--they make it better.

Basically, I like to get most of my information across through narration and dialog. Internal thoughts are great for getting closer to a character, but not an effective tool to reveal major plot points or drive the action forward. In many cases, I think it's wise to look at the internal thoughts in your writing and see if they can be eliminated and woven into the narration or dialog surrounding them. Again, that doesn't mean I've never met an internal thought I didn't like, I just think they should be used like red pepper flakes. In moderation.

What say you? Were you as shocked as I was about American Idol's winner? Did you see Glee? Are you ready for a new season of "So You Think You Can Dance?"? Does my hair look like a toupee? What is that on the mirror? Do these capris make me look fat???

Whoa. Was I really thinking all of that?

I *heart* Adam Lambert

Yeah. That is all.

If Writing Were A Reality TV Show

Holy next top model surviving on the big stage in Hollywood. I watch a lot of reality TV. And I wonder...what would the judges say if it there was a writing reality show? Like, say, Author Idol. Or America's Next Top Author. Or Writing with the Authors. Or So You Think You Can Write? Or Rejection Survivor. Hey! We should make a badge for that. *Kate? Kate?*

I hear Simon Cowell say, "That lacked originality." I think that could work on Author Idol.

I hear Tyra Banks say, "She's a model, but she's not model-ing." Totally works for writing too. "She's a writer, but she's not write-ing."

I hear Coach [on Survivor] say, "We'll see who the dragon slayer is." Well, okay, maybe that wouldn't be said on Rejection Survivor, but still.... I kinda like the idea of being the dragon slayer. Maybe I'll have to write a novel about a dragon slayer. Then I could live vicariously through my character. *snarf, snarf*

I hear Phil on Amazing Race say, "You had some problems there in the road block." Totally an appropriate comment on So You Think You Can Write? during the climax or whatever.

I hear Bobby Flay say, "Your culinary point of view isn't clear." This could apply to the point of view in a novel. Are you head hopping? Don't do it.

I hear Bruno Tonioli say, "You've got to bring the raunch back." Well...maybe not so much.

There could totally be a writing reality TV show. So I think I might type up a little proposal for Fox and see what they say. The show could consist of terrified-looking authors doing a reading of their own work. Papers clenched in trembling fingers. Then the judges (a panel of shark-tank agents or whatev) could confer, maybe get some of those kewl paddles with scores on them and give some feedback. Yes?

Here's a pop-quiz for you. Who would say these if writing were the topic on a reality show?

1. "I wouldn't read this if I were on my death bed. I think this is going to be the last week we have to listen to your drivel. Sorry."

2. "So tell me, Elana, what did you think of Christine's story? Does she deserve to be here next week? I mean, it's a million dollar publishing contract. That's a big decision."

3. "I'm sorry to say, your story is the last to 'arrive.' You have been eliminated from the competition."

4. "It sounded great. I just wish I knew how you view writing. You seem to be all over the place with your genres. You need to narrow in on just one."

5. "You took a concept that has been used and made it your own. Sassy and daring. I like that."




What else would be on Author Idol? Would you sign up? I totally would. I like being critiqued. One of my critmates said I should make that into a T-shirt. Would you buy it? Kate? Could you do a mock-up of that too? A T-shirt that says, "I like being critiqued." That could be the uniform for the writing reality TV show.