Winning Streak or Losing Streak

Okay, so I've been gone for a while! I swear I didn't mean to do that. But I was crazy-busy with planning and executing WriteOnCon (only the most amazing thing ever!) and then I moved right into work again. School starts TODAY, and I've been swamped with teacherly things, and motherly things, and well, when you stop blogging for a while, you sort of forget it's there... Tell me I'm not the only one who does that!

Anyway, I know I give you guys my professional development lectures every year. I just find them so inspirational, and I find that they almost always relate to how I'm feeling as a writer.

So we focus a lot on data at my school, because we're a Title I school and a lot of our funding comes from such things. One of our speakers was talking about winning streaks and losing streaks. He said something that resonated with me. He said that it only takes two (TWO) events to get on a streak, either winning or losing. Two successes to feel confident. To self-analyze how we're doing, and what we could be doing better. Two successes to feel like we know what we're doing. (He, of course, was talking about creating successes for kids, and I, of course, agreed and then applied it to writing/publishing.) Two successes to think, "Hey, I might be good at this."

Hopefully, you've been on a winning streak before. Maybe even in publishing.

Then he said that it only takes two disappointments or failures to be on a losing streak. Two failed tests. Two instances where a student couldn't perform what they were asked to. And this is the dangerous spiral. When you're on a losing streak, you want to give up. You criticize yourself mercilessly. You have no confidence and no motivation to keep trying. Not only do we start to think, "I can't do this," we continue that thought to "I can't do this, because I'm not good at it."

Oh, how I've felt this in writing. Two rejections in a row can get you there. Maybe my book is terrible. Maybe I'm not a good writer.

Two bad reviews. My book is lame. I can't plot. I should just give up.

The trick is to take the "failures" and make them into successes. Or ignore them. Or make it so you don't even know about them.

Or eat a lot of ice cream and have a writer's group to vent to. Ha!

No matter what, I felt that what our trainer was saying was true. I've felt it as I've pursued a writing career, and I know my students feel it as they try to learn math, science, and English. My goal is make sure EVERY interaction they have is a success, and I'm going to try to work through the losing streak in writing, anticipating a success just around this next corner...

Where are you right now? Winning streak or losing streak?

Defining Success

Okay, so for me, this is one of the hardest things to do. The measure of success almost doesn't exist. Every goal is different and every person will look at it in a different colored light.

And so this simply becomes another area where I struggle. Like, what's good? What's successful? Does more blog followers = more success? Is it based on how many books you sell? How many people are subscribed to your newsletter?

I used to think all these things mattered, and in many ways they still do. The difference is how I'm looking at them now. Before, I'd seriously burn with jealousy if someone had more blog followers than I did. Now, I don't even look at that widget. As of writing this post, I could not tell you how many I have.

I'm not sure what's shifted for me. Perspective, maybe?

I do know that I wish there were more statistical data--something concrete and factual--I could examine that would tell me what these numbers mean. Like if I knew 25% of my blog's followers A) came and read every day or B) bought my book, then I could see myself caring more.

Instead, I'm not looking at twitter followers or likers on my Facebook page as the definitions of my success. Not anymore.

Now, I'm looking at the words on the page. Are they good? Did I get enough of them in? How can I make them better?

I'm looking at how many pages I edited. Did I choose the right word? Do I need another scene with Jag? How much backstory do I need here?

I'm thinking about new things for new books. Could that work? How can I make a character for this world?

And then there's all the real life success to consider and evaluate and continually try harder to achieve. Let's not forget that as we're writers, we're also people. Most of us with families and jobs and responsibilities. Those successes--and the striving for success--shouldn't be overlooked.

Publishing is a numbers game. I'm not oblivious to that. I'm just choosing to focus on different numbers as the measure of my success.

At what point do you feel successful? How do you measure success?

What Defines Success?

This can go anywhere, don't you think? Are you dying to see where I'm going with this? Ha ha! I bet you are. *snarf*

Success: the achievement of something desired, planned or attempted.

That's a pretty good definition.

So in publishing what defines success?

Getting an agent?

A book deal?

Making the NYT bestseller list?

Where do you aim? Some of my best friends, Suzette and Bethany, have this on their blog. It inspires me greatly.

"Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal." ~Pamela Vaull Starr

So combining my life and writing worlds together, this is how I define success:

• Not eating that girl scout cookie. Okay, not eating the whole box.
• Writing THE END. Finally.
• Reading good books. Lotsa good books.
• Curling up with a blanket and the DVR.
• Walking in the park. With sun, please.
• Feeding the ducks. Even with all the crazy-quacking and my heart pounding with the fear that I'm going to have to kick them off my kid and wondering how bad it might hurt to be bitten by a freaking duck.
• Arriving on time.
• Signing that agency contract.
• Reading amazing blogs.
• Emailing good friends for epic lunch dates.
• Phone conversations with my DH on the way home.
• Saying "I love you" and meaning it.
• Saying "I'm sorry" and meaning it.
• Not answering the phone when I don't recognize the number. Or even when I do.
• Listening to my favorite song (Nothing from Chorus Line) on Pandora. And then turning it up real loud.
• Hearing someone playing the piano in my house.
• Meeting authors.
• Merely walking through Barnes & Noble, with that smell of pages and pages of wonder.
• Sharing this blog with all of you.

And yes, getting that book deal. Landing that agent. Running my fingers over my name on the cover of my book.

Do you think there's an end to success? And you tell me: In your world, what defines success?

Light Bulb Moment

So yeah. I could go on and on about what led up to this convo, but I won't. Mostly because I have so many convos I can't keep them all straight. Or maybe those are just the voices in my head. *wink*

But basically, Katie Anderson and I were talking. And exciting things are happening for both of us.

Katie: Are you nervous?

Me: *hysterical laughing* *furiously typing* Beyond. I'm terrified of this, that, and the other (I won't bore you with the details, but I typed much more than this, trust me.)

Katie: It's almost as if success is more terrifying than failure.

TEN SECONDS LATER, in PG, UT: Light bulb moment.

She nailed it. Nailed it.

Failure I can do. I can handle. I've been there, done that. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and your stomach doing these weird flippy things. But I can deal.

Success? Not so much.

Well, okay, there was that one time I won those 50 Jazz tickets. And I did graduate from college. I have a good job. I've been married to the same man for 13 years.

Okay, okay. I've succeeded at some things too. Funnily enough, it leaves this weird taste in your mouth and your stomach doing these weird flippy things. I guess I'll have to learn to deal.

And no, I have no news. Just curbing those comments right now. :)

So tell me, have you had a light bulb moment recently? What was it about? What do you think of the success being terrifying thing?

And PS: You want to sign up for my newsletter. I have some very VERY exciting things planned for February and newsletter subscribers will get the low-down before everyone else. Way before. In-enough-time-to-prepare-before. Just sayin'. And that's all I'm sayin'. *winkage*