Writers: Snack-crazed or what??

Okay, so last week I revealed the formula for writing. Remember that? Well, a whole bunch of you writerly types started throwing things at me, even though I asked you very nicely not to. And I noticed some themes...

Here's what writers (apparently) need to write:

Piedmont Writer said...
You forget the list of handy dandy chocolate snack thingy's right by the edge of the desk.

Jen said...
I think you definitely nailed it, however it doesn't always seem that easy... when the words don't flow I find adding a glass of wine (at a decent hour of course!) helps loosen the words!

Jonathon Arntson said...
I am just so offended Elana. After years and years of working on my writing, surviving because of one product and you insult my Diet Dr Pepper by calling it Coke?! I go with the real professionals' supplement. Hmph.

Meredith said...
That's basically it, for the first draft, at least. Butt in chair. That's the only way I get anything done. But chocolate-covered pretzels help.

Kristi Helvig said...
The only thing you're missing is the chocolate. I can't write without it. :)

JEM said...
I think you're forgetting the copious amounts of coffee and chocolate. Or Diet Coke and Twizzlers, if that's your thing.

Dammit, I just remembered the pretzel M&M's. Why am I not at a grocery store right now?!?

SWK said...
Yeah. Haven't heard of a better way :) In my case, kinda have to have coffee and chocolate in close proximity!

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...
Lol. I'm going to include chocolate and snacks in that list somewhere. :)

Karen Lange said...
Think you have it down except you forgot pretzel M&M's.

Jemi Fraser said...
I'd like to include a cup of Chai tea, but other than that, it's perfect!

Kimber said...
All that list needs is a big bag of Twizzlers:)

Sharon K. Mayhew said...
I thought you had to eat Twizzlers to get published???

Notice a trend yet? Foodstuffs? Drinks? (For the record, I've always wanted to use the word "foodstuffs" for something. My life is almost complete.) And I totally blame the Roecker sisters for this falsehood about Twizzlers. Red Vines are clearly the superior licorice. Everyone knows that.

Another vice for writers: the Interwebz. Twitter. Facebook. Email. Cable TV. But remember how we're quitting stuff? Yeah, you can do it. Write.

Me? You want progress? (Or maybe I want to brag? Ha!) I wrote almost 20 K in a new project = 78 pages. Then I got my edits, so I basically haven't moved from in front of the computer for like, three days.

Just goes to show that if you have enough Red Vines and ginger ale, you can write for a long time. Just sayin'.

What do you think? Are you snack-crazed? Do you think this curse just applies to writers, or do painters have to have a bowl of pork rinds nearby?

What You Should Know: Writers

Okay, so last week we dished about Non-writers. We know we're a separate breed, and we're totally going to be making more dinner and applying more makeup, right Writers? Right.

So today, I'm going to give you some insight into Writers.

We're made of awesomesauce. Don't believe me? Feeling less than awesome? Maybe you're wallowing in your freakin' freaker mess of lamesauce and not feelin' the love. Dude, get thee hence. And by hence, I mean here: Do the Write Thing for Nashville.

Writers got the word out. Writers donated. People who work with writers donated. And I have it on good authority -- Facebook -- that over $2000 has already been raised. In one day.

Dude.

Writers know how to party. Don't believe me? Did you, uh, miss the Awesome on Monday? All those contests and free books and authorly love? Sigh. It was a great party. And I have another one coming very soon. And I've got something else up my sleeve that is going to be so epic I'm going to have to make up a new word for it. I'm taking suggestions for the new epic.

In case you still don't believe me, you should play this game next week. I've never felt so stupid in my life -- and I enjoyed every minute of it. Here's a description of the game: A cross between cribbage, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, and the New York Times, if the NYT had a scavenger hunt.

If that doesn't make you want to play, maybe you need more awesomesauce.

Writers practice hard. You need proof? I submit the entire month of November. I mean, come on. We go crazy in November. And I bet we could get to like 50,000 words for the week just from the writers that read and comment here. Let's try it, shall we? Leave your weekly word count with your comment. Can we get to 50K?

I'm pretty sure we can. We're like, Michael Phelps or something.

Writers are smart. Who else could come up with the crazy entertaining things we do? And then we write a bajillion words and rewrite them to get all the threads in just the right place. Guess what? Brain surgeons do the same thing -- except they don't get multiple tries. So who's smarter? Yup. Writers.

Yeah, you might not get the creds you deserve from Non-writers. But you'll always get them from me. I think you guys rawk the house!

All the way down.

What You Should Know re: Non-Writers

Okay, look, people. There are a few things you need to know about non-writers. Yeah, yeah. I've seen those posts where writers try to tell non-writers what They need to know about Us. This isn't that post.

Because let's face it. If you're a writer, you're not normal. I repeat, if you're a writer, you're not normal. Besides, there're way more non-writers than writers, so you need to conform to the whole, okay? Okay.

Some tips:

Know your pitch. Not only will this take you far in conferences and with writing a killer query letter, but you'll be able to keep the interest of your non-writer friends.

See, they don't really care about your book. They care about you, but you have about ten (maybe twenty) seconds to tell them about your book before their eyes glaze over. You need to be able to answer the question "What's your book about?" in under twenty seconds. That way, when your accountant, old boyfriend, or grocery store checker asks you, you can tell them. And they'll still think you're human afterward, which is a huge bonus.

Refrain from talking about your characters as if they were alive. Trust me on this, it doesn't work. And non-writers get this scary edge in their eyes, and their fingers twitch like they need to dial for medical help, stat! when you discuss people that aren't alive.

Keep these kinds of convos between you and your CP's or other writerly friends. We get it. They do not.

Don't rationalize. Number one, it's a tad pathetic that we writers can't keep up with the laundry or remember to take dinner out of the oven before the whole kitchen is filled with smoke. The last thing we need to do is blame our writing for our lack of Martha Stewartness. I mean, that just makes the whole industry suffer, don't you think?

Own your shortcomings, because non-writers don't see writing as a reason why your kids ate cold cereal for the third night in a row.

Take a minute to pretty yourself up. Have you seen that Seinfeld where Elaine stays up all night writing a cartoon for The New Yorker? And Jerry makes fun of her because she doesn't even run a comb through her hair before leaving the apartment.

Yeah, I know that most writers are part vampire, and we can't stand the sun and we don't sleep. But seriously, people. You belong to a non-writer population as a whole. Take some time to change your clothes and brush your hair and teeth before leaving the sanctuary of your writing cave. And certainly don't cite writing as the reason you look like death warmed over. Non-writers only forgive the homeless and those who run for pleasure for looking like that. Srsly.

Accept the fact that They don't get it. You may be a very talented Sith Lord, but you are not going to convert the non-writer to the writing side. Loved ones may support you because they know how important this writing thing is to you. But the vast majority of non-writers don't get it. If they did, we wouldn't hear things like, "I wish I could write a book."

Love them for who they are: a non-writer. I mean, it takes both to make the world spin, right? Right.

What else do we writers need to know about non-writers? What did I miss? Have you showered yet today? (lol!)

I'm off to my husband's graduation (Masters, baby!) so I'll be offline for most of the weekend. Writers unite!

Why I Keep Writing

Okay, so I titled this post over the weekend, and as I sit down to write it, I cannot think of a single thing.

So I started writing. I emerged from the dark. I'm happy now. Even in "dark" times, I am nowhere near the kind of blackness I once was. Thankfully.

So...now that I'm a writer, why do I keep writing?

Um...

Because I like it?

*thinking*

*still thinking*

*more thinking*

*frantically trying to think of a different blog topic*

*scanning over what I've already written, finger hovering over the delete key*

Oh, my gosh! I already answered it!!

Why do I keep writing?

Because I'm a writer. (Man, I am a genius at this moment. *snarf*)


Now that you've started writing, why do you keep writing?

Book Reportage

I'm happy to report that I've read real, published books since last we talked! I also made the realization that I do quite a bit of beta reading and critique group reading and that those reading activities shouldn't be discounted. True, they are not published books, so they don't contribute to my yearly totals, but it's still reading.

3. The Last Apprentice: Revenge of the Witch by Joseph Delaney. This was a great read. Fast, too, because I got completely sucked into the world of being a Spook's apprentice. Very nicely done, Mr. Delaney. Very nicely done.

It's the story of a 13 year old boy who's learning how to deal with witches, boggarts and other things that go bump in the night. An exciting read.

4. So then I read The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. It was pretty good. I was intrigued for the first 200 pages or so, and then it sort of stalled for me. But the narrator was interesting and the story was compelling enough to keep reading. The thing I liked the most was the literary style of writing. For example:

It felt as though the whole globe was dressed in snow. Like it had pulled it on, the way you pull on a sweater. Next to the train line, footprint were sunken to their shins. Trees wore blankets of ice.

As you might expect, someone had died.

I've really been paying attention to what I read, what strikes me, what I really, really like. And sentences like these are brilliant. I really need to learn to write like this. I love it. Here's another bit from The Book Thief.

The last time I saw her was red. The sky was like soup, boiling and stirring. In some places, it was burned. There were black crumbs, and pepper, streaked across the redness.

Both of those passages conjured such great imagery for me. Other moments of brilliance were sprinkled throughout, so while I grew tired of plot at about page 200, I was able to press on and finish.

Because of the writing itself.

I read Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr last year, so it doesn't count, but she had this same style of literary writing mixed with an interesting story. Not too purple, but enough to stun you with the power of the words.

I so want to write like that.

5. Maximum Ride, The Final Warning by James Patterson. Okay, okay, I admit, I still have about 50 pages in this one. But it's a fast read, so I'll be done by the end of the day. I love the way Mr. Patterson weaves together the present tense commentary of the narrator with the past tense telling of the story. This is something I *love* and am trying to do in a novel I've written.

So here's my question, and it's really several. What books have you read where you fold down the pages because of the writing? Not necessarily the story, but the actual writing on the page? I need to read those books. Also, how have you decided what kind of writer you want to be? Do you want to write the gripping passage about a single color? Or are you the type that just writes what needs to be written? I'm a little of both. I'm trying to be more literary, but sometimes that's a hard mix with the sarcasm I've got going on.

*Snarf, snarf, snarf*

So how to you balance what you're writing? Some of everything in the book? Different styles for different stories?

See? Told you I had a lot of questions.

7 Personality Characteristics You Need to Get Published

by Elana Johnson, Carolyn Kaufman, and Suzette Saxton

Agents and editors deal with hundreds of queries, synopses, proposals, and chapters every month. Whether you realize it or not, your approach to the process has a lot to do with whether or not your work will ever reach publication. Here are the 7 characteristics necessary to achieving your dreams!

Characteristic 1: Commitment to Growth

The first thing every real writer needs is a willingness to learn and grow. All agents or editors—no matter how busy—are interested in quality work. The first step: write the best book you can. That means you’ll probably need to brush up on grammar, syntax, sentence structure, and plotting. Don’t give someone an excuse to reject your work because you’ve either never learned or forgotten how to write in an active voice.

Research local or online writing workshops and sign up for a writing conference or two to jump start your creative juices and brush up on what it takes to become a published author. Join a critique group to help yourself develop a critical eye for grammar, sentence structure and plot in the writing of others. Then apply what you learn to your own writing. When you view writing as a life-long learning experience, you've taken the first step to becoming published.

Characteristic 2: Humility

Completing a project is an accomplishment, and one you should be proud of—just not too proud to miss places you still might be able to improve. Chances are, you did forget a comma somewhere. Or spelled a word wrong. Or didn't tie up that loose end. Or tried to cram in too many subplots. Or something. When you share your work with critique buddies, really listen to their feedback. If an agent is kind enough to offer advice, thank him or her and then consider making the changes to your manuscript.

Characteristic 3: Self-Confidence

On the flip-side of humility is self-confidence; you’ll need both in equal measure.
Not to be confused with arrogance—there is a difference! Getting published is usually an uphill battle. Everyone along the way will have an opinion about your work, and not all of those opinions will be positive! Most agents reject between 95% and 99% of all queries they see, and editors are even harder to win over.

Even after you make it through the gauntlet of agents, editors, and other decision-makers, you’ll have to face book reviewers and bloggers. You must believe in yourself enough not only to go through the whole process, but also to endure the onslaught that follows. Once you've acquired the skills of a writer, a sense of self-confidence will help you recognize that your hours of research, learning, and growing are going to pay off.

Characteristic 4: Perseverance

Once you've produced the very best story you can, built your self-confidence, and balanced it with humility, it’s time to submit. Research agents and editors and only submit to those who are a good match for your project. And don't just submit to one agent or editor. Or two. Or even ten. Keep going until you find one who loves your work!

And don't stop writing while you submit. Maybe your first book won’t make as big of a splash as you’re hoping. Maybe your second—or your fifth—novel will be the one to land that dream agent and publishing contract. Author Dan Brown published three books before he scored a worldwide bestseller with The DaVinci Code.

Characteristic 5: Professionalism

Understand that publishing is a business, and that agents and editors are trying to find books publishers—and eventually readers—will want to spend their hard-earned money to buy. That means you need to conduct yourself like a professional. While this might seem obvious, you must treat everyone you deal with, from agents’ assistants all the way up to publishing heads, with courtesy. Even if you don’t like what they’re telling you.

Never send hate mail back to agents or editors. (You might be surprised how often publishing professionals have to deal with this.) Also realize that form responses are normal — if you had to read hundreds of queries every month, you’d send them too! Don't take rejection as a personal attack—it's just business.

Characteristic 6: Patience

It takes patience to see your dream of being published come true. Not only patience to write the book—which doesn't happen in a single sitting—but patience to wait for responses from beta readers, critique groups, and then agents, editors, and publishers. Some respond immediately. Some are a little slower, but will respond eventually. And some won’t respond at all. In each case, your patience will be tried.

Characteristic 7: Luck

Before you decide that you’re doomed because you’ve never won the lottery (or even a door prize drawing), you need to know that we’re talking about the kind of luck you make for yourself. There is an old Chinese tenet, “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.” So first, be prepared. And then cultivate your own luck. Lucky writers behave in ways that create good fortune in their lives. For example, they read agent and industry blogs to get a feel for what different agents like. They notice and act upon chance opportunities, follow their intuition, look for the bright side of every situation, and are certain their future is promising. Their outlook becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy, creating the perfect environment for “luck” to flourish. Remember, it only takes one positive response!

Plus One: Indomitable Spirit

Incorporating these seven traits will result in the indomitable spirit necessary to succeed in the publishing industry. What is Indomitable Spirit? It’s an attitude or state of mind in which you are impossible to frighten or defeat. Never, never, never give up on your dreams.

“People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bio box:
Elana Johnson finished college against nearly-impossible odds, a struggle much like dealing with the publishing world. Visit her at elanajohnson.blogspot.com for more publishing insights. Visit psychologist/writer Carolyn Kaufman at archetypewriting.com and learn more about how to use psychology accurately in your writing. Find “The Bone Setter,” Suzette Saxton’s most recently published work, here: http://www.mindflights.com/item.php?sub_id=4283.