Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Inside Elana: Everything You Maybe Wanted To Know

So I totally stole this post idea from Ali. She did a great one on herself, sort of as an introduction to new people on her blog.

Well, I thought, I have new people on my blog all the time! Maybe they're not used to my bacon obsession, and hey you haven't talked about Adam Lambert for a long time...

So here we go.

I am Elana Johnson.

I have lived in Utah my whole life. From as far north as Newton (pronounced New-uhn in a traditional hickville accent, about 5 miles from the Idaho border) to as far south as St. George (no accent neccesary, about 5 miles from the Nevada border).

I have been married for 14 years to the same wonderful man. I don't talk about him much here, except when he says/does funny things. (Remember that whole butt/bat incident? Hilarious.)

I attended four universities before graduating with an Elementary Education degree from Southern Utah University. It's not like I got kicked out or anything, my husband just moved me around a lot. The last year and a half of college, I drove 100 miles round trip with my 4-month old son in the backseat to attend classes.

Speaking of kidlets, I have two though I've been pregnant four times. One boy, one girl. Boy is 12. Girl is 6. I don't talk about them much here, except for funny things they say or do. I adore them most of the time.

I have many more kids in my life. About 700 more. At my elementary school of 11 years, where I am the technology specialist. That's code for "computer teacher" or "glorified babysitter who sometimes teaches typing and forces the kids to play math games." Take your pick. I don't talk about school much here either. I mean, how exciting can typing instruction be? (Don't answer that...)

I am religious, and serve as a leader in a world-wide women's organization. I don't talk about that much here.

So what do I talk about?
Bacon. Adam Lambert. Music. Survivor. Books. School visits. My hair. Friends. Writing. Not writing. Blogging. Query letters. Conferences. Twitter. WriteOnCon. Whatever I feel like. Sometimes all at the same time. With me, you just never know. Strap in.

Miscellaneous:


  • I have a book coming out on June 7. It's called POSSESSION. It's dystopian. Brainwashing. 
  • I'm highly sarcastic. I need my own font, because sometimes that doesn't translate into type.
  • I love to laugh.
  • I cry at some commercials, the Food Network, and most songs.
  • I am not an animal lover. Anything with more legs than me freaks me out. All geese and ducks, and every known species of snake. 
  • I like to drive really fast.
  • I have one sister, and no brothers. I do not get boys.

So, did you learn something new? I know I did.

74 comments:

Trisha Wolfe said...

HAHA glad to know I'm not the only anti pet person out there ;) My friends say I have to be a cruel person no to like dogs. Blech.

And I soooo feel your pain. I, too, have a 12yo boy *sighs* Right now, it's one day at a time. Just trying to get him though middle school is an everyday battle. I hope things are going much better for you in that department.

So glad you did this post! It's always nice to find out more about Elana =) Have a great day! <3

Natalie Aguirre said...

Yes, I learned a lot even though I've been around for awhile. I didn't know your son is 12. My daughter is 13 so you're right behind me in getting ready for high school. Yikes.

Theresa Milstein said...

I've been following you for many months, and I didn't know all of this. Great idea for a post.

And I'm glad to know you didn't get kicked out of schools.

If you create a sarcastic font, may I use it?

Renae said...

This was great Elana! My son is close in age to yours, he's thirteen and I don't get boys either most days! I also can't wait to see that sarcastic font of yours!

kellyhashway said...

I apparently missed the butt/bat incident with your husband. Sounds like it was a good story though.

I don't get boys either. I was so happy I had a daughter. I hate shopping for boys.

Jen Daiker said...

Learning more about you keeps me on my toes. Just shows me I need to be more awesome.

Now I have you on a freaking pedastal (that's a bad place to be... for me).

Rachel Morgan said...

Wow. 100 miles round trip to get to classes. Now THAT is dedication! (non-sarcastic font!)

I think just about everything here is something new to me :-)

Kelly Bryson said...

Hey Elana- Nice interview! Err, whatever.

I used to not "get" boys either (I'm was one of three girls while growing up, and now I have a half-sister and a step-brother)until I got married to a man with 3 other brothers and then had 3 boys of my own (and a daughter), plus a bunch of boy cousins...I just had to take a typing break to fold a paper airplane, in fact:)

Emily White said...

What a great post! I learned so many interesting things about you.

I like animals, just not in my house. :)

Ishta Mercurio said...

I didn't know that you're religious, or that you are a leader of a world-wide mom's organization. See, just when you manage to convince us you're human, you go and post something like this that floors me. How do you make the time? You're amazing.

Matthew Rush said...

You have a book coming out?

You live in Utah and you're religious?

I'm shocked Elana. I'm not sure we can still be friends after revelations like this (see what I did there)?

Just kidding. I will say this: I love how you moved your post column to the left and everything else to the right. It looks so much cleaner. I need to do something like that on my blog.

I may go play with it right now.

Shannon said...

Actually, I *did* learn a few new things about you. Cool beans.

Thanks!

beth said...

*pout* No animals? Not even puppies and kittens??? My life doesn't feel complete unless I have a dog in it.

Jeffrey Beesler said...

Dystopian brainwashing? Ooh, that sounds like the kind of book I'd enjoy reading. This is definitely something new I've learned about you. Thanks for sharing!

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

are you excited about Survivor starting in Feb? Cuz i am, especially since i missed most of last season

Bish Denham said...

Even though I've been reading your blog for a while, I learned a lot. Most particularly your thing about animals. Doesn't your son want a dog, your daughter a cat? Hmmmm. Would it/will it ever happen? Curious people want to know. :)

storyqueen said...

Yes! Someone should definitely invent a sarcastic font!! This idea is brill!

lynnrush said...

NICE! Love this!

Jonathon Arntson said...

I don't think there's anything new there that I didn't already know or infer, except the teaching typing thing.

I wish I could come observe your class for my classroom observation! That would be so much fun.

Can we dissect you a little here? I've talked about you and Ali with some of my IRL friends. They say, "Utah + religious = Mormon." And I am from a liberal-Catholic background where the words religious and Mormon were used to scare us in CCD when I was 10. Then, I had an epiphany. You and I have always gotten along really well, since the very beginning of my blog, why would that ever change? And I realized it would change if I didn't change the way I thought about labels. And so, I shed that thinking and it was ever so freeing and now I am able to look through a clearer set of eyes to see my friend, Elana, just as you are: brilliant, prolific, humble, and bacon-lust.

Thanks for always sharing yourself with us. I want to do the same thing, but I have no idea what I'd say.

Tracey Neithercott said...

Fun post. I had no idea you talked about bacon. ;)

I too dislike most crawly or slithery things. I'm not a fan of animals in my house (ick, pet hair) but I have to say: The sight of baby animals, polar bear cubs in particular, is enough to make me evaporate into nothingness.

Must go check Cute Overload now...

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Yay! I'm not the only one who cries at commercials. Kleenex has it all figured out as to how to increase their sales. ;)

Becca said...

Always nice to learn something new.
I see we both think of speed limits as more of suggestions?

Michelle Merrill said...

I learned a lot of somethings. Thanks for sharing. We have a few things in common, half of which you do talk about and half of which you don't ;)

And for the record, when it comes down to bacon and chocolate...well, that's simple, right? Bring on the pig!

Have a great day :)

Carolyn V. said...

Hey, I've attended four colleges too! Maybe one day I'll have a degree. =)

Nice to know a little more about you Elana! <3

Liza said...

Hmmm, cry at the Food Network? Kidding, right? Right?

Michelle Walkenhorst said...

I've been known to drive like a bat out of hell.

Sarcastic font = brilliant idea!

Kristi Helvig said...

I had no idea you're a technology specialist. My 6-yo son was so excited to go to school today, because he has Technology in the computer lab on Tuesday's. It's his favorite class, and he LOVES math.

As far as the pet thing, maybe you just haven't met the right dog yet. They're awesome. :)

jbchicoine said...

I remember the whole butt/bat incident--it was funny :)

L.T. Elliot said...

You are hilarious. And wonderful. And kind. And lots of other good things.

Always LOVE to know more about you. (And seriously? 100 miles with a baby in the backseat? You're AMAZING!)

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Ha ha ha! I swear you could make anything entertaining. You rock!
I have an award for you today. I know you don't really post them or anything, and that's cool, but I HAD to give you this particular award. :-)

Nicole Zoltack said...

I'm not completely anti-pet but because of my allergies, you would never know that. Although technically the allergies then DO make my anti-oet.

Lisa Potts said...

That was fun, Elana! And even though I've been following for a while now, I learned some new things about you.

I heard rumors a sarcastic font is on the horizon.

Susan R. Mills said...

Thanks for sharing. It's nice to learn a new thing or two about you.

Colene Murphy said...

Wow! Learned a great deal! Didn't know you were religious. That is AWESOME. Didn't know you didn't like animals. Odd...is there some repressed animal memory there? Do you not enjoy the cute things animals do videos? Do you have a heart, Elana, is what I really want to know. ;) And no...sarcasm does NOT come across well in the typing world. I really have to watch myself on blogs and comments...like now...Awesome post as usual!

Marsha Sigman said...

This is great!!lol I learned so much. I didn't know you were religious or that you lived in Utah, or that you drove fast. The other stuff I knew.

I get the sarcasm because I am soooo the same way but I'm afraid people don't understand sometimes you aren't serious when they can't hear your tone. Oh well. I get boys but I don't really get Adam Lambert. They are not the same.

Donea Lee said...

Cool - I think I knew 91.3% of these things. Bonus points, right? (means I've been reading your blog for awhile..) And I'm a Utah-lifer myself ~ :)

Melissa Sarno said...

I've learned a lot of new things and I'm not a new blog reader! I cry a lot during commercials too, but never during the food network. I'd love to know which show made you cry (I'm addicted to that and the cooking channel)

Kelly Dexter said...

I actually love the idea of a sarcastic font. No more worrying that someone might not know you were kidding.

I'm telling you, it would be huge. You should run with it!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Points for driving fast! I mean really - the speedometer goes to 140mph for a reason, doesn't it?
And that's all right - most of us guys don't get girls. At all.

The Golden Eagle said...

I learned several new things about you! Thanks for sharing. :)

Shari said...

That was the funnest thing EVER to learn more about you. I like to laugh too, and I like kids, too. (Assuming you like them since you work with them every day.) If you haven't, you should check out Kid History on You Tube. Hilarious!

MartzBookz said...

What an awesome person you are:)I love getting to know writer friends. Thanks for sharing:)

Alison Stevens said...

If it's any consolation, I am incredibly grateful for my typing teacher--if it weren't for her, I wouldn't be able to type fast enough to get ideas on 'paper' while they're still unfolding in my head. One day a future author will look back and remember your lessons fondly.

Ghenet said...

I did learn something new! This was fun to read. Thanks for sharing :)

Krispy said...

Yay! Thanks for this post. I learned a bunch of new stuff - like your intense dedication to finishing your degree. 100-mile round trips! My goodness!

WritingNut said...

I've been following you for quite some time as well, and I learned lots! :)

I cry at some commercials too and although I do love animals, I prefer to spread that love from a distance :D

Heather said...

I did learn something new! I had no idea you weren't an animal lover. You love bacon, that sort of counts in my book. ;) Yay for June, come on June!!!

Christine Fonseca said...

Dude! I DID learn something new.

Jeff King said...

I loved it, thx for all you do.

Nicole L Rivera said...

Lol. Learned a lot. Still not with you on the bacon thing though - recovering vegetarian. I only eat chicken and turkey. Pigs are cute :)

Jill Kemerer said...

I always learn something new here! Of course, I did know about your bacon obsession because I adore it also. And I cry at Giada at Home because her kitchen window overlooks the ocean. That's probably wrong to admit, but it's true!

Natalie said...

Aww, I like you Elana! I cry during everything too. I can't listen to country music or watch Barbie movies without inexplicably bursting into tears.

Brenda said...

Great post and nice to "get to know you" a bit more. I didn't know you had a 12 yo boy. I have an almost 6 yo boy and, although I often feel like I don't get him, I was absolutely terrified of the thought of having a girl. All those dolls. And make up. And teen angst. I'll take Star Wars any day.

June G said...

Not an animal lover?! Shocking. My cats are my babies...meow...

Jemi Fraser said...

Love it! I laughed when you said you don't get boys - I bet you're wrong! :)

ali said...

And for everyone here, you need to know that Elana has the best laugh ever. When she laughs everyone laughs with her even if they don't know why--just because she brings that kind of happy with her.

Elana = Frawsome (in Elana-speak)

Great intro/re-intro E!

Laura Pauling said...

So, do you agree that American Idol has never been the same since Adam Lambert was on the show? :)

Paul Greci said...

I love this post!!! And yeah, the bacon stuff I already knew, but I learned lots of new stuff. Cool fun stuff :-)

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Perfect! Learned so much about you! I don't get boys either. They scare me. And kind of gross me out a little.

Little Ms J said...

Good to meet ya, Elana J. :-)

Lenny Lee* said...

hi miss elana! wow another cool post. i like knowing more about you. sorry you dont get boys cause im one. i like that you laugh. how much time in a day do you laugh? i did a post one time on it and kids laugh 300 time a day and adults just 17. ack! i knew some stuff from coming here lots but some i didnt know. one think i could know is your just really cool!!
...smiles from lenny
ps for got you dont like animals so im just real sorry for that vidio i sent. :(

Kathi Oram Peterson said...

What a great idea! I loved learning more about you. Your humor always cracks me up.

Gail said...

Hmmmm... didn't know you don't like animals...not even guide dogs that are calm and helpful?

I so relate to the don't-get-boys thing. I just have a sister :-)

erica and christy said...

Hmm, interesting, we have a lot in common (2 kids, 4 colleges, 14 years of marriage, work in elementary schools and get called a "glorified babysitter").

So glad you've found success. And that you drive fast, that can be fun. :)
erica

Em-Musing said...

Love the new font idea. Especially since we are limited to only one"!"!!!

Christina Lee said...

AWW! I did, I learned something new! THX, E!

Taffy said...

LOVED your post!
Saw a t-shirt today and thought of you:

"Bacon is meat candy"

Kelly said...

Awww, Elana. Great post and wonderful knowing more about you.

Carol Riggs said...

Hey, I loved this run-down! I guess I am enough of a newbie, I didn't know most of that. Erm, yeah, I'm not into dogs, but I do like cats. Still, I'm glad I'm pet-free. Such fewer hassles! More time for writing! LOL

Julie Musil said...

OMG, this was fun! Loved learning more about you. You are a brave woman for driving 100 miles with a kids to attend classes. And dedicated.

Kimberley Griffiths Little said...

Love you, Elana!!! xoxo

Stacy Henrie said...

Very fun post, Elana. Even though I've known you a few years now, there were some things on that list that I didn't know. LOL about the don't like things with more legs than you!

Angela Ackerman said...

Great idea for a post, and great to find out a bit more about you! But really, once the bacon thing is out there, the rest falls in line.

Bacon should have its own emoticon. Nuff said.

Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

Jo Schaffer said...

I liked this. Cool to learn more about you. Have some stuff in common-- no big surprise if you're a Sagitarius too.
I'm also a leader in a world-wide women's organization. Hm. Very cool.

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