Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Tell A Big Fat Lie Tuesday: Reviews

Dude, I totally don't care about reviews. Not from book bloggers, not from the industry professionals, not from anyone. I welcome scathing comments. I enjoy it when people say my book is confusing, hard to read, and inferior to other novels.

I just don't care. I am immune.

Bring on the soul-damaging, depression-inducing reviews! I likez them.

My favorite review?
"...fails..." ~Kirkus

I'm stoked for what the future might hold in the review department. Can you tell? Why are reviews so hard to stomach? At least I'm not on national TV, being torn apart in front of a live television audience.


***This blog post was brought to you by sarcasm, fibs-I-tell-myself, and the letter J.

***This next portion brought to you by non-sarcasm: I support anyone who writes reviews of any book. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and should be able to express it.

49 comments:

Natalie Aguirre said...

Yes, reviews can be hard. Your Tuesday lie is a good way to deal with them or just don't look.

Lucky you, all I've heard is good things about your book. And did you see my e-mail about plans for your June 6th interview? You should look.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I can relate! The Publishers Weekly review of mine wasn't good, but it was offset by a Library Journal on the same day that was amazing. Look for the good ones, Elana!

Jennifer said...

Very funny post. I hope your reviewers are honest but kind.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

LOL! Failures and rejections are the spice of life.

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

i was totally buying this until i got to the footnotes.
Was that a real Kirkus review?!
For reals, i might be one of those people that won't ever read reviews. Or at least have my sister screen them for me first, to see if they're terrible

B.E. Sanderson said...

Sometimes I think reviewers need to keep in mind the old saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".

Hang in there, Elana. If you do get a harsh review, remember: They obviously don't know what they're talking about because you're awesome. ;o)

Matthew MacNish said...

In the interest of honesty I would say I was a little confused at times, but I didn't see anything wrong with it, in fact, I thoroughly enjoyed the confusion.

Kirkus can suck it.

Emily White said...

I have to admit that reviews are something I'm terrified of. :o

Escape Artist said...

Find a good one, which I'm sure you will, and read it quickly to douse the flames. Then read it again and savour it. We need a bit of bad just so we can really appreciate the good. Right? Builds character and all that. Well that's what they say. :)

Joana said...

It's weird how one bad review can make you forget that you have tons of good ones. I'm not published, but when I post my work online, "IT SUCKS!" leaves me in a downward spiral of depression and angst. True story.

foldingfields said...

absolutely talk yourself out of it because your book does not fail. It does everything that the premise says--you can't please everyone.

Lisa said...

Sigh...reviews. The bad ones make you want to smash your laptop over your head and run screaming for the hills. But the good ones...the good ones make your day brighter, your smile wider and put a special rose colored filter on everything for at least 24 hours. I've been there. I once had a gal say she hated my book so much she wanted to crumple up the pages and chuck them at my face. Niiiice. It gets easier to deal with and eventually, the awful feeling goes away. Hang in there, and congrats on your upcoming release!!

Nicole L Rivera said...

Lol. So true.

Bish Denham said...

Hang in there girl. You can't please all of the the people all of the time. Breathe in, breathe out.

Katie Mills said...

Oooooh. I forgot about that. Reviews. Yes. Even if I manage to write 'the' book. Get an agent. Get a book deal. There's still the 'reviews' to get through. My stomach hurts for you. But I'm confident you'll have plenty of great reviews Elana! I have yet to read a negative review for Possession (but I'm sure authors of books can't help being curious to read their bad reviews. Don't do it.) I can't wait to read Possession!

Carrie said...

Try not to worry about the reviews. Just think about all the people who can't wait to read your book.

There is a theater critic where I live who published a book of poetry. I know of some actors who do dramatic readings of his poems rather than read his reviews.

Connie said...

This is the one thing I dread most about being published. But I always remind myself (and you) that some of the greatest novels, literary classics, got horrible reviews.

Nicole Zoltack said...

Reviews can be so hard to take sometimes! With my fantasy romance trilogy, it seems that either people love it or hate it, which means that I'm soaring high for some reviews and way down in the dumps for others. But you can't please everyone with your book, that's impossible, and to try is purely futile.

Amy Saia said...

I hope you have many, many great reviews, Elana. xx

Kristen Knight said...

The good news is that there are as many types as reviewers as there are readers and so much of it is personal. I continue to be amazed by my own strange likes and dis-likes compared to my book group. We'll all read the same thing and everyone by me will LOVE it and I was bored stiff - and vice versa. Go figure.

Nata Romeo ArtistaDonna said...

Hi Elana
I pre ordered a copy of Possession :)
you can count on me on a great review! you rock!!!
Believe in Yourself!

Patti said...

I guess we just have to remember that we don't like everything, so it's only natural for some people not to like our writing, but like someone said, with all the great reviews out there, I'm sure you'll have a lot of great reviews to read.

Angie said...

The thought of reviews is really scary. I'll bet the good will far outweigh the bad, though. Focus on the good ones!

Tom M Franklin said...

I'll nitpick here, because I feel you're not being 100% honest with us here (and I can't get to the full Kirkus review myself).

You've picked one word out of what was probably a 100-200 word review. Sure it was the word that likely hurt the most, but without giving us that word in context, it loses most of it's meaning. Did the review say "POSSESSION fails to hold reader interest" or "the typeface in sections fails to be legible" or "The cover image fails to adequately express the conflict within the pages"?

seriously. you're amongst friends here.


-- Tom

Candyland said...

Oh, E...how I admire that "chin-up" spirit, even through the sarcasm. Because bad reviews or not, (and every book has them), you KEEP GOING.
xoxo

ali said...

Dude, thank YOU for telling the truth! The rest of us, when our turn comes (and it will ~ we'll get published and some will think our books SUCK), we'll be able to go "well, heck. Elana's book rocked my world and Kirkus said IT sucked so guess what? Kirkus can go suck eggs!"

You're like our own William Wallace. FREEDOM!!!!

Carolyn V said...

Oh no. I hate bad reviews. =(

But we'll all get them in this business. ((hugs))

Liza said...

Don't give the tough reviews any more value then then good reviews and use them all to improve your writing. No matter how good it is, we can always improve, right?

Jeff King said...

You can’t plz them all… I’ve herd some people say J.K Rowling is a hack (yea right, she is amazing) so you can’t get down if some idiot just doesn’t get what your book is about, or how you wrote it.

Be strong all day long… I know you’re great.

Holly Ruggiero said...

I wish there was a hide button available for bad reviews. Wouldn't that be awesome?

Krispy said...

It's tough, but your chin-up attitude is the best way to go, and I love that you support honesty in book reviews. Also, I am skeptical about that quote only because it is one word out of context.

Lastly, I'm still excited to read your book. :)

Christine Fonseca said...

Hugs, that is all. And man - we need an Easy button to deal with reviews, yes??? YES!

Jo Schaffer said...

Just tell me where to send the poisonous viper, chica. I'm ready. (=

kathrynjankowski said...

Reviews, like critiques, are just one person's opinion, just harder to ignore because they're public. ;-)

Cyndi Tefft said...

Thanks for bringing a smile to my face today. I needed that! :)

Cyndi

Sara B. Larson said...

I'm very sorry if Kirkus gave you a harsh review. That is going to be such a hard thing to deal with once I (finally, if ever) get published, to get negative reviews. That is the unfortunate part of any artistic endeavor, is that it is subjective. So while many people will and obviously do LOVE your book, there will also be those who don't. ALL books have that, no matter how great, or how successful. I know it's hard, but try to focus on all the good out there and all the love so many have for you and your book. *hugs*

Rebecca Knight said...

I heard once that there's no such thing as a bad review, because some readers will be drawn to your book because of it :).

I know I've read the one star reviews for some books, read the complaints, and thought "well that sounds right up my alley!" and bought based on what that reader hated.

Bring em on, I say!

Carol Riggs said...

Ha, the fine print on this post. LOL Well, I'm sure you'll do fine regarding reviews, but it's probably unrealistic that they'll be ALL positive. There are too many readers/reviewers with different tastes out there. And it's often easier or more fun to write a negative review. ;o)

Lydia K said...

Ugh, I can't even imagine reading my own reviews. I get nauseated just thinking about it. I guess the bad must come with the good of being pubbed, right?

Amber Argyle said...

Hang in there, Elana! I'm scared of the reviews too. It makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it.

Melanie Hooyenga said...

::hugs::

Heather said...

Though we know we shouldn't, it's hard not to care what others think, especially about our babies. You have nothing to fear though. The people who love our writing are the ones that matter. :)

Wanton Redhead Writing said...

ig fat lie! Not gonns buy your book, but will totally blog about the magnum suckage.

VR Barkowski said...

Repeat after me:
Reviews are subjective.
Reviews are subjective.
Reviews are subjective.

The difficult part is not giving the one bad review more weight than all the good ones combined. But you can do it. I know you can!

Jonathon Arntson said...

No, no, I think Kirkus is right. POSSESSION fails at sounding like everything else out there. POSSESSION fails at conforming to the assembly line like so many other novels that are hitting the market. POSSESSION fails at disappointing its audience.

Ishta Mercurio said...

I love the way you "quoted" the Kirkus review, and showed how even when a review is mostly good, it's so, so easy to just zero in on the one negative element. Even though we know we shouldn't.

Great post!

Susan said...

Maybe you should send POSSESSION to a REAL reviewer. Oh, wait! I just happen to know an AWESOME one ...

Patty said...

Just don't read the bad ones...hee hee hee...if there even are any...

Patty said...

Just don't read the bad ones...hee hee hee...if there even are any...

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