Show Me Your Angry Face!

Okay, I'm gonna spill. Are you guys ready for this? I feel like I need one of those Monday Night Wrestling voices. You know the kind. Arrrrre youuuu rrrrrready? Imagine a deep voice with thousands of cheering fans and grown men in spandex. Are you there? Then you're ready for this confession.

*whispers* I'm less than stellar at emotional writing.

Enter Christine, the topic-starter for this chain, and one of the best critique buddies on the planet. We started a crit group in January. She read one of my novels. What'd she say?

You guessed it: "You suck at emotional writing."

Well, not in those exact words. *wink, wink*

But she was right. She made me look at a whole new side of writing--the emotions.

Not just the where, what, who, when, and how of where the characters were and what they were doing. But the WHY. And then the HOW WOULD THEY FEEL HERE?

She'd say things like, "This section is good, but the emotions are off."

Dangit.

How does one fix that? By being authentic. I write YA, so I had to dig down to the repressed memories of junior high and high school. And let me tell you, those memories are repressed for a reason, people. Sure, it's easy for Christine, she works with those kids all the time.

For me? Not so much.

So what I did: I treated EMOTION as another sense. Just like we want to use all five senses (sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch) in our writing to make it bloom and come alive, I added a Sixth Sense. And it's not dead people. (hahaha!)

It's Emotion. I use it like a spice, just like I use smell and sound and taste. I sprinkle it in throughout my writing to make sure all the senses are addressed. I believe this really gives the writing more depth, more layers, more authenticity.

I mean, after all, we want our readers to FEEL SOMETHING when they read our stuff, right? Sometimes we can do that just by our awesome narrative and dialog. Sometimes, though, we need to sprinkle in a smell to really set the scene. Or a taste to really ground them in the story. Or the emotion to make sure they stay awake until 3 AM turning pages.

I believe Emotion is the most powerful sense and shouldn't be skipped over. I think you know when you have enough. When you read it and feel a little zing go through you as if you just experienced the scene with the character in every way (meaning through sight, sound, taste, smell, tough and emotion). And if you don't know, give it to Christine! Ha ha! She'll tell you if you suck, trust me. *wink, wink, wink*

Michelle posted before me in this chain, and Annie will be up tomorrow.

How would you answer Christine's questions? Here they are: How do you add emotional depth to your stories? How do you know when you have enough emotional content? How do you keep it authentic?

The Dreaded R-Word...

...yeah, you know it...if you know me at all, and you do. You totally do.

The Dreaded R-word = Research.

Kat asked these questions (She must hate me or something.): How do you do research for your settings, your story and your characters' quirks? What interesting tidbits about yourself and the world you live in have you learned along the way? (Michelle answered them before me, and Annie will talk it out tomorrow.)



Oh crap. My secret is out. I, uh, don’t "do" research, just like I don't "do" running and stuff like that. Well, if big dogs are involved, I can move pretty fast. Otherwise? No running.

I actually dislike researching so much I break out in hives if I have to do it. So you wanna know how I research for my settings and story and quirks? *whispers* I make them up. I might pick a place (the setting) that could be anywhere. Then I don’t have to know street names and stuff. I’m writing a novel right now that requires the characters to go to the beach. So I know it’s in California. But I don't know what city. I don't care what city. The setting is not that integral that I need to know what city. Or the name of the high school. And if I did, I'd simply make them up.

I did need the name of a beach. So I asked my friend Christine for sweet beach in SoCal. Research, over and out.

Seriously, the book I’m querying right now? Dystopian. Setting = made up (Well, okay, I know where it takes place in the US. But the "country" is made up. I do have to know the terrain and stuff, but I already did. No research required). Research = very little.

Story = made up. Research = very little.

Character quirks = made up. Research = very little.

My stories require very little research because I don’t write what I don’t know. For example, I have to know how long a sunburn takes to heal, but that can come from my real life knowledge. If there is something I don't know, like what symptoms someone would have coming off inhalants, I just ask someone smarter than me. (Thanks Carolyn!) Another reason I think I can get away with minimal research is because I write speculative fiction. You know, with magic and powers and made up places. Thus...I can make stuff up!

Most of the research I do for characterization comes from watching people. I carry a 6 x 9-inch notebook in my purse. When I see some guy at the post office wearing a cool hat, I write it down. I jot down notes about people I know. Like, my BIL talks in his sleep. A lot. So I put that in a novel. I've gushed over people's names in the grocery store and stuff. It's a bit embarrassing, but Walter-the-checkout-guy liked it. I know he did.

What have I learned about myself? That I’m lazy? Ha ha!

But seriously, I think there's something to be said for writing what you know. Sure, I could research 17th Century England (if I wanted to die) and then I would "know" about 17th Century England. I just choose not to, cuz I am not a fan of the R-word.

What about you? Firmly camped in Research Central? Love the stuff? Hate it? How do you do research for your settings, your story and your characters' quirks? What interesting tidbits about yourself and the world you live in have you learned along the way?

Am I really lazy? Wait. Don't answer that.

How Do I Love Thee, Blog Chain? Let Me Count The Ways...

Sandra picked the topic this time. I’m going near the end and feel like all the good answers have been taken. Especially by Michelle who was up right before me. I just know Annie will have something equally impressive to say tomorrow.

So here’s the topic, and it’s one of my faves: Romance. Ahhh, romance. What work of fiction is complete without it? I mean, seriously. Okay, okay, I’ve read some books lately that don’t have a smidgen of a relationship in them. At least not a romantic one. To me, literature is all about relationships and there is none better than the romantic one. Sandra asked a lot of questions, so I’ll break them down for you in my now infamous fake interview format.

SUA: Do you write romantic relationships in your books?
EJ: Yes. Even when I try not to, I still do. In fact my NaNo novel (Elemental Hunger for those of you keeping track) has this on the front page (I wrote it by hand): THIS IS A DYSTOPIAN NOVEL WITH NO ROMANCE. Yes, it’s in all caps. Pen even.

Yes, there is romance. A lot. I just couldn’t help it! I’m either a huge sucker for romance or a complete wimp when it comes to disciplining my characters. You choose.

SUA: If so, what do you do to show the attraction between your characters?
EJ: Uh, they’re hot and stuff. LOL. Just kidding. I don’t mind my characters being uber-hawt and all that, but I’m sort of drawn to regular people. In Elemental Hunger, I say this about the male MC (Adam), through the female MC’s (Gabby) POV: “He had the pinched, unhealthy look of someone who hadn’t eaten a decent meal in days.”

It’s not all about how rockin’ hot Adam is (and he is, just wait a few chapters, he has this wicked cool tattoo…). It’s about the protection he offers to Gabby. He’s something she needs desperately to survive. Like air. How romantic is that? I mean, come on.

I’m not sure I answered this question, so let me have another swing at it. I try to show the attraction between them as realistically as possible, so that the reader can see that romance is not all about looks. This may be lame, but I think one of the most romantic things is how comfortable each person is with the other in complete silence. That speaks a lot for me. When I’m with the one I love, we don’t have to be speaking or doing anything. We’re happy just because we’re in the same room with each other. I try to infuse that into my relationships, because it’s real for me.

SUA: What problems do your characters encounter?
EJ: As many as humanly possible. No, really. That’s what makes great fiction, so I try to torment them to the point that they just cannot go on. This is usually where I paint myself into a corner and I have to delete, but whatever. I’m not afraid of the delete key. I’ve done some (what I hope are) nasty things. For example:

• I imply that Jag is Vi’s brother. And she’s been kissing him.
• That tattoo I was telling you about? Yeah, it transmits locations and Adam can’t touch Gabby unless he wants to broadcast where she is for the bad guys. That complicates the romantic side of things.
• I make one of them betray the other. It’s usually for something the betrayer can’t control, but the betrayee doesn’t know that, and there’s this huge thing. Trust is a big deal in relationships, so if you can break that down and toss it out the window, that causes quite the dent in the romance. Of course, then you have to build it back up…. Isn’t writing fun?

SUA: What qualities do you think make a romantic relationship work in fiction?
EJ: The same things that make romantic relationships work in real life. Thrills, chills and automobiles. I mean, didn’t you always want to go out with the guy with the smokin’ car that made your skin tingle when he touched you? Yeah, me too. Never happened. Le sigh. But that’s why I’m a writer! I can make it happen for those living in my head. Man, they have such a good life in there.

I’m gonna skip the fictional couples to save myself the embarrassment points.

So, how do you feel about romance? Do you write it in your novels? Is it hard to write? Easy? Natural? How do you make it work?

A Love-Hate Relationship Brought to You by the Blog Chain

Blog chain time again! BTW, some of you have asked how to participate in the blog chain. This chain started when a group of friends from the QueryTracker forum decided to link together and discuss a set topic. We maintain a schedule, a rotation of who picks the topic and a general discussion board where we share real life things using RallyStorm. It really is quite fun, and if you're interested in more deets on how to start your own blog chain, shoot me an email. Or leave a comment here. Or PM me through Rally. Some of you are already there.

So back to the regularly scheduled programming. This chain is about one of my favorite topics - characters. Creating characters, reading about them, is what makes writing enjoyable. It's why I love to read. I love to see what other people will do in the face of impossible odds.

In your reading and writing, which do you prefer – a main character that is intriguing, or one that is likeable? Who are the characters that you love the most? And who are the ones that you love to hate?


Michelle started this chain, so go back to her blog to hear the specifics of her answer.

I’m going to start by springboarding off something she said. She was talking about Scarlett O’Hara and how she’s unlikable and yet we read. Well, I don’t. I haven’t read that. It was probably printed before I was born. I don’t normally read or watch movies that were made before I was born. Shallow, I know. I think I already had this “classics” confession.

Anyhow, that got me thinking of books I’ve read where I absolutely hated the main character. I know you know what I’m thinking of.

Twilight.

Okay, I'll just get it out there. I hate Bella. Really, really hate her. I was talking with my crit group last week and we discussed this for a few minutes. We all hated Bella, and most girls say they don’t like Bella either. So why do they read a book narrated by Bella?

Ahhh, Edward. And one girl (I think it was Stacy) said that the teen girls (and other women) read Twilight because they think they deserve Edward more than Bella, because Bella is just so stupid and unlikable. So if Edward likes her…he can like them—more.

People read Twilight because the real “hero” of the book is Edward, even though he’s not the one telling the story. He’s the likable one. The intriguing one. The one that keeps us turning pages. (At least until Book 4 when he turns into a complete and utter moron, but that is a post for another day in the far distant future.)

So I think that’s what it comes down to this: Who is the real hero of your book? Is it really the narrating character? Or is it someone else? No matter who it is, that’s the person that’s going to propel a reader through a book, which means you must have someone like that in your book. Even if it's not the narrating character.

So let’s see if I’ve answered the question (doubtful, I like tangents). Ha! I actually did--at least the likable and intriguing part.

So moving on to characters I love the most…hmm. I like the underdog who has spunk and guts and real emotions. Percy Jackson. Katniss in The Hunger Games. I also loved Rue in that book. Yes, Harry Potter and all the injustices he has to endure. Travis in The Forest of Hands and Teeth. He was the romantic one, the quiet guy who Mary loved. I like characters with flaws, but who work to overcome them.


Onto characers I hate. I don't think I do. Even Darth Vader--the villian, the epitome of evil--is a likable character. People like him so much they made three movies just to tell his story. So even villains can be intriguing and drive the reader to turn pages. (Or maybe I just like light sabers.) But really, he's a character we love to hate, because his past is so tragic. So we love him, yet we hate him at the same time.

If you can manage to write a character we love and root for (the hero) combined with another character we love to hate (the villain), and ultimately we want him to be defeated but it's still sad when he is, then you've found the winning combination of characters that will make your book a page-turner. Think Star Wars with Luke and Darth. Harry Potter with Harry and Voldemort.

That is all. Annie is up in the chain tomorrow, and I know she'll have something uber-awesome to say on this topic.


What do you think? Which characters do you like? Do they have to be likable? Intriguing? Does that person have to be the one telling the story? Which charcters do you have a love-hate relationship with? Why? What makes them so loveable and yet hateable at the same time? What kind of characters do you like to write?

Switchin' Up Ye Olde Blog Chain

Archetype (Carolyn) chose the topic for this round. And not only is the topic about keeping things fresh and churned up, but our chain has recently gone through an overhaul as far as the order goes. Now the uber-awesome Michelle is before me and the ever-wonderful Annie is after me. Be sure to go to Archy's post to start from the beginning.

Here's the topic: How do you keep from telling the same story over and over? What are your tips and tricks for finding fresh ideas and adding new twists to your work?

Um, I don't? I've written lots and lots of things. 4 complete novels in various stages of editing, revising and curing. I'm writing something new right now. I've started and abandoned half a dozen other stories. I've written oh, maybe 4 short stories. So how in the world do I keep things fresh?

Not very well. Sometimes I'll think, "Oh my gosh, this sounds exactly like Control Issues." Or, "Freak! Gabby did this in Elemental Hunger."

So I have to stretch myself. I don't like it. It's like that wheel of torture on The Princess Bride. I feel like that. Then I realized (when I was looking for a pic) that that thing isn't really a wheel. So that sort of freaked me out. All this time, I thought it was a wheel. Well, there are wheels in the picture, so use your imagination.

Ahem. Back to keeping things fresh. I have two things I try to do:

1. Listen to my characters. Kat had a super-fantastic post on characters and letting them drive the story. This is what I do. The characters for each novel should be authentic enough to propell the story in a different direction. From the things they say, how they react, to what they choose to wear/eat and what their motivation is should be enough to lend diversity to your stories. I feel like I've talked a lot about characters this week. Click to meet Jag and here for dialog.

2. Decide on my style of writing. I've written some novels where it's very straightforward, just tell the story with all the commas in the right place. Heck, I even used semi-colons. Other things are more literary. Still others are more...something. In between? Maybe. But I try to mix up the styles a little bit, so it's not only the stories and characters that are different, but it's the actual writing that is different too.

My writing style is most often influenced by what I read and/or my mood and/or whether or not I have Ginger Ale in the house or Adam Lambert on repeat. haha.

So I read The Book Thief and went through this period of mourning decision that I would try to write more literary. Elemental Hunger is in this style of writing. It lends a different twist to the story--and to the writing. The story is unique because of the arrangement of the words I chose to tell it.

Then I read Wintergirls. I so want to write like this. My current WiP is sort of in this type of writing where it's all angsty and periods and commas and stuff aren't really that important. A semi-colon would never be invited to this party. We'll see how it goes. Already it's making the writing different. The way the characters are "allowed" to speak and narrate makes a huge difference, and that makes a unique novel with a different twist. It's not necessarily the idea. It's all contributed to the writing style.

Okay, three items. Oh, come on. You knew it was coming.

3. Write with the intent to delete. No matter what, I just keep writing. Sometimes this means major deletage if things don't work. Whether that be plot items that are too similar or voice that's too similar, it doesn't matter. I am not afraid of the delete key.

So what do you do to keep things fresh? Sometimes I use Febreeze and my daughter refuses to go a day without spraying the Lysol. Four-year-olds are funny like that. Too bad those aerosol sprays don't work in Word....

Blog Chain - I Love Me Some Books

Okay, Kate started this chain with this: This time...I'd like to focus on the flip side of the writing coin - reading. Specifically, what books have influenced you? This can be books that influenced you as a writer, or simply books that touched you as a human being. If you want to talk about one book, a top three, ten, or even twenty go right ahead.

Annie posted before me and Terri is up next. Everyone's been going all crazy about how they could go on and on about this topic.

Um, me? Not so much. See, I don't read to learn something new. About life, about the chemical reactions of copper and peroxide, about myself, about anything. To me, that's not what reading is for. I can Google if I want to learn something new. Or ask someone who already knows. Or just by trial and error. But reading? Pshaw. That takes the whole point of reading away. Because reading should be...well, keep reading. *winks*

I'm what you'd call a shallow reader. I read for fun. The end.

So books that have touched me? *scratches head*

Influenced me as a writer? *panic face*

Don't get me wrong, I love me some books. I've always loved books, but not in the way that they can teach me a lesson and/or influence my life. More like in the way that I can escape to a new place, experience something cool or get caught up in a romance that leaves me breathless. Reading, for me, has never been about the writing. It's been about the stories, the people, the places.

Only recently (translation: when I tried writing myself) did the books I read have any other purpose other than to entertain me. So if you're looking for something deep here, um, maybe you better go back to Archy's post. Or Christine's. Or Annie's. Or pretty much anyone else in this chain.

My list of books I love randomly changes based on what I've recently read that I love. Ha! Go figure. I've blogged about some of these before, but here's my best shot. You should note that these books are on my list for their entertainment value. Now, before you go all ballistic on me, that doesn't mean they're not written well. I just didn't happen to be paying attention to that at the time.

1. Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling
2. Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead
3. Uglies by Scott Westerfeld. Heck, anything this man writes is pure entertainment for me. (And good writing.)
4. The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan
5. Percy Jackson and The Olympians by Rick Riordan
6. Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
7. Maximum Ride by James Patterson
8. Alcatraz and the Evil Librarians by Brandon Sanderson
9. The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud

These books I love because of the way the author wove words together. Some of them I didn't actually finish, because I wasn't entertained enough to do so. But the writing? Brilliant. I have pages folded down, images I've scrawled on post-its and happy faces in the margins of especially poignant sentences. This all came about after I decided to be a writer. I do think these books have helped me become a better writer, simply by helping me define what kind of writer I want to be.

1. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
2. Enna Burning by Shannon Hale
3. Anything by Nancy Farmer or Cornelia Funke
4. Tantalize by Cynthia Leitich Smith
5. A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray
6. Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr

Notice there are no classics in either list. Um, that's not fun reading. At least not for me. Heck, I was on the Academic Olympiad in high school *insert geek song of your choice*. We even had these totally schweet T-shirts and everything. I don't think any of my former geekalicious Olympiad's read this blog so I can say this out loud: I didn't read the books we were supposed to for the competition. Why? Cuz A Tale of Two Cities and Huckleberry Finn are NOT entertaining reading! That is not my idea of a fun time.

But reading about magic and moving staircases and hoverboards? Oh, yeah. Djinn and faeries and alternate realms? Bring it on. The first kiss and riding in the Sun God's chariot and jumping out the window of a fifty-story building and unfurling your wings? Yes, yes, YES!

There are also only young adult and middle grade books on my list. That's what I like to read (and write), because it's fun.

So I read for entertainment. Funnily enough, that's also why I write.

Can you answer Kate's question? What books have influenced you? And maybe just because they were a good yarn that kept you turning pages way past your bedtime.

Blog Chain - Shreddage

Okay, this round's topic was chosen by the ever-fabulous Mary Lindsey. Here's her prompt:

Are you in a critique group? If so, at what point do you send chapters to the members of your group? How detailed are the critiques you receive and give? Do all members in you group write the same genre?

I've been participating in crit groups for about 15 months. And I wrote a couple of posts for the QueryTracker blog on this topic (more on how to start and how to participate in crit groups). These questions are completely different, and I think, ones that every writer should answer and contemplate in their crit groups.

Whenever I post my work for critique, I think of it as going through the shredder. Sometimes I can't wait to see what's going to come out the other side, and sometimes I'm just plain scared. (Hey, I'm human, too.) Sometimes that shreddage can be scary--but it's almost always scary in a good way. (Not like those people up there. They're shredding lettuce. Yes. Lettuce. I guess it's uber-toxic lettuce because why else would they need the lab coats, rubber boots and face masks?? They take their shreddage seriously. As should your critters in your group. Man, this was a long parenthetical.) You need good shreddage to grow and stretch as a writer. But enough about that. Onto the questions!

1. Are you in a critique group?
Yes. More than one. I have a live crit group that I absolutely adore. I also own a forum at RallyStorm exclusively for YA authors. It's pretty much me and a dear friend, because we're not really sure about adding anyone else to the group and upsetting our uber-yen balance we've got goin' on. I love my fellow YA crit buddy. And I also have a precious group of friends who will read anything I want at any time. Their input is priceless.

2. At what point do you send chapters to the members of your group?
After I've looked at them so much my eyes are crossing, I can push apple+F and type in the exact line I'm looking for, and I'm about ready to select everything and hit delete. I believe that you should really look at your own stuff and make it as polished as possible BEFORE sending to crit buddies. There's nothing more annoying that trying to crit a first draft of someone else's writing.

Of course, one of the groups I'm in, we have to post 15 pages a week. Sometimes I'm not ready for that, but I do my best to get my pages out and pasted in a new document by Wednesday (I post on Friday). I look at them. Tweak. Change. Rewrite. Save. Thursday. Look again. Re-read. Tweak. Change. This only takes a few minutes. Friday. Email to self (can't post from a Mac, grumble). Read on PC (hey, it looks different). Tweak. Post. Read in post (different still). Tweak. Post.

I think this tweaking cycle is common among writers. (Please tell me it is, even if it's not...'kay?)

3. How detailed are the critiques you receive and give?
I think it depends. If the writing is strong, I usually just have "big picture" comments. Sure, I might have places where I think a stronger word would work better, or where the structure of the writing falls away. I'm a hugely character-driven reader, so I find that my critiques are geared toward the relationships in the story, how the characters are acting (or not acting), and making sure their dialog and actions are consistent throughout.

The crits I get vary from person to person. Because every person has something different they bring to the table. Literally. And that's what makes crit groups awesome. (Look at those bales of shredded paper. Isn't that...I don't even have a word for how super-stupendous that is. That's what my novel looks like after my crit group has laid their claws into it. And that's amazing too.)

4. Do all members in your group write the same genre?
No. My live group is varied. We have YA, historical fiction, romance, and LDS fiction. My online group varies too, from YA to MG to women's fiction to nonfiction to paranormal romance. I do have the YA group and that is obviously YA.

I don't necessarily think writing in the same genre is important. I think having knowledgeable, honest people is what really counts.

So don't fear the shredder. You need it. Crave it. Will be better for it. See what Abigail had to say and Terri will be up in this chain of madness tomorrow.

Blog Chain - Write...Wait. What?

Okay, so for this chain of madness, Jessica Verday actually had the gall to challenge us to write something. Pshaw.

I was suddenly so happy to go at the end. And then as the chain progressed, I wished I could have gone first. I mean, I can't compete with Avon-calling knights and the emotion of a ballad.

Nevertheless, I did what I always do. I pressed forward. Wrote something. Couldn't figure out how to put the heart in it. You see, the loverly Ms. Verday said this: Ready? This week's topic is going to make all your writers out there have to...WRITE! I want a short story people. 100 words, 300 words, 500 words, 1,000 words - whatever you're comfortable with! The only requirement I have is that the theme of the story have something to do with HEARTS. Someone stealing someone else's heart. Someone pining away for true love. A thief of hearts... Go wild!!

Yeah, wild all right. Her inspiration came from a poem Kate posted on her blog a while back.

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said: "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter-bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."

-Stephen Crane

I have to say that I am not the world's biggest poetry fan. But when Kate posted that, I printed it. So I can see where Jess got the inspiration. Abi posted before me, and Terri will be dazzling us with her hearts tomorrow.

So on to my story. I tried to write something light and funny and quirky and YA. Yeah, that didn't work. It sounded so forced. Sometimes the quirk just doesn't flow from my fingertips. Other times, I'm a hoot without even trying.

It must have been a dark day, cuz this is what I ended up with. It's 465 words, which I must say is a new record for me. I don't think I've ever written anything under 500 words before. Not even a blog post! LOL.

A Single Moment

He leans against the door. Waiting. Always waiting. For the most part, he’s gotten used to the waiting. The hypnotic scent of popcorn wafts down the hall. Every office should have a popcorn maker. He congratulates himself for suggesting it. Wishes they could have more time to use it. Really enjoy it.

Rich yellow light bathes him, the color of golden honey, the color of surprise and joy at a birthday party, the color of the popcorn. She’s coming.

He hears her heartbeat before the door opens. Tastes it. Breathes it into his soul.

He craves it.

If only the delicious woman in the crisp business suit didn’t have to die.

He waits across the hall. Watches.

She eats popcorn. Laughs.

The yellow light blazes to orange and he knows he won’t have to wait much longer.

Still, he hates to end her life. Surely she has a family, people who care about her, things she wants to do before she dies.

They all do.

And so he waits. His heart doesn't twitch.

Her heart beats with life, with ignorance.

He’s jealous.

And she’s going to die.

People pass, blurs of color that don't blend with the pulsing tangerine light. Only minutes now.

He’s running through a list of possible explanations for her death when it happens.

The sound is loud, even to him. Especially to him. Enough to set the little hairs on the back of his neck on end. Screeching metal, like that train wreck he waited through last week. Shattering, then moaning of wood, glass and steel.

It all comes from behind the closed break room door.

Screams cover the trembling walls. Phones are dialed. Tears fall. The door won't open. Smoke curls up from the gap at the bottom, and he breathes it in, recognizing the greasy calmness of machinery.

He abandons his post across the hall. Her pulse is thready now, barely strumming in his senses.

He needs it. Wants it. Through the oily smoke and honey-colored light, the soothing blanket of her heartbeat fades.

He passes through the wall and finds her on the floor. Thick, wet smears of red drown her. As does the car that has plowed through the side of the building. Un-popped popcorn kernels float in the oily river issuing across the hardwood, spilled from the now-mangled maker.

He kneels. Reaches down. Cradles her soul, enveloping it in the golden warmth of her pulsing heart.

It calms him. Becomes part of him. Welcomes him.

As she relinquishes her hold over life, he sends her home, his heart full and alive and beating for a single moment.

Later that afternoon, the aroma of fresh-cut grass drifts on a lilting breeze. On the park bench, his senses painted green and lush, he's waiting. Always waiting.

So...whaddya think? Tell me anything, but don't tell me you don't like present tense. It is my new love. I *heart* writing in present tense.

Blog Chain - Marketing Me

Okay, so this round of the blog chain started with H.L. Dyer. I think she's trying to kill me. Or something. Then everyone else in the chain is just fabulous, leaving me to look and sound like a complete loozr. Posting before me was Abi. And up next is Terri.

So here goes...I feel like George Costanza.

Not in my real life, but in my writing life. Because I'm sort of in between manuscripts right now. At least I don't live with my parents.

I don't really know how to market my manuscript. I've made a (totally lame) book trailer for the novel I just shelved. I loved Jess's ideas on necklaces and perfumes, but I don't have anything like that. Then we had songs from Kat and that totally rocked my world. I don't really have anything at this point in my life. Christine had some great ideas, and I'm going to be checking out the books she mentioned. But other than that...

What I do have is...me.

I think I'm my best marketing tool. I'm on facebook, myspace, twitter, I have this blog, I've written articles, I contribute to the QueryTracker blog. I'm trying to get myself out there. I'm pretty real. What you see is generally what you get. I have a unique name, so it's easy to Google.

I'm trying to network. That's it. That's my marketing plan. Have a recognizable name with established avenues to promote my novel once it hits the shelf. So far...it's a work in progress, just like everything else in my writing life.

What are you doing as far as marketing goes?

You're Torturing Me Blog Chain!

Okay, so it's blog chain time. I've really enjoyed following the chain of carnage wrath blog responses.

Leah started this massacre. (Major congrats on her recent signage with Rosemary Stimola!) Before me was Abi and after me is Terri.

So here's the question: What do you do to amp up the conflict? What pins do you stick in the little voodoo dolls? How do you torture your characters?

Hmm...torture. The poor things.

When I first started writing, this was really hard for me. Thus, my first novel had absolutely no conflict. It was boring. I didn't want to hurt the people I'd created. I liked them too much.

As an avid reader, I realized that all fiction has to have conflict to make it interesting. I attended conferences where authors and experts spoke on getting your character in something so deep they could never get out.

I rewrote my book.

It still didn't have enough conflict. Sure, more "bad things" happened, but still I didn't feel like my MC was in this life-or-death-oh-my-freaking-heck-what-do-I-do-now? moment.

That's where I needed her to be.

So I toyed with some more ideas that could bring her to the point of no return. That's how I envision good conflict to be. Like in that movie, Back to the Future 3, where they've got that broken down windmill and once the DeLorean-turned-time-machine passes that point, there is no turning back. Yeah, like that. You've got to bring your character to that point. And beyond! (Man, it's movie Thursday today. Major kudos if you can name that last one.)

I rewrote said novel again. I'm still not sure I've tortured the girl enough, so I shelved her. Take that! How's that for torture? How do you like me now? Yeah, don't mess with me, fictional people. I might just kill you all. Or at least file you away quietly on my hard drive. Where no one will ever find you...mwa, ha, ha!

But seriously.

I've broken down "torture" into several categories. Not everyone fits the box, mind you. (That could be their conflict!) And a lot of things are just personal issues people have to deal with.

Here are some things that have happened to various characters in various stories in various stages of completion. (Side note: I don't do these things to my characters on purpose. They just sort of happen. I really do feel bad about it...most of the time.)

1. Put her in a car she can't drive. She can't shift. Failed Driver's Ed three times. Is terrified of driving at all, let alone with the magical mafia trailing her. (Personal Issues)

2. Made one of her bestest friends a spy. Who only reveals himself when she's all alone and her only help is half a world away. (Betrayal)

3. Made her boyfriend her brother. Yeah, that one was gross. But it caused a lot of conflict. (Disgusting/Personal Issues/Betrayal)

4. Took memories that would have really been useful. Like really, really good to know. (She became a traitor cuz she couldn't remember anything...What? You're not my bff? The humanity!)

5. Killed the only witness to a crime my MC was accused of committing. (Murder)

6. Had my MC kill her friend in a bout of uncontrolled anger. Nasty, that was. (Murder, Personal Issues)

7. Then there's the standard stuff--bombs, long-lost fathers coming back, finding out your lover is really your enemy, losing your job/most loved pet/something else you can't live without, getting trapped in a realm where you don't belong, the list goes on and on.

But I find that the most conflict falls under murder, betrayal, traitorous acts, and/or personal issues the MC has. That's why it's important to know your characters. What will hurt them the most? Their loved one kissing another girl? The death of Fluffy the giant anteater? What will cause the most pain, put them in the worst situation? Wait. That's another post for another day. Or another chain. Or did we do that one already?

Blog Chainerificness - Life, What's With That?

So it's time for the blog chain again. Since I started last time, this round I get to go last. Phew. Being at the front of the chain causes me major stressage. Major. I'm a thinker...yeah, I almost typed that with a straight face!

Okay, so Terri started this chain. She'll be doing a wrap-up in the next day or two. Abi posted before me. Terri thought her question was too close to mine, but I found it totally and completely and entirely different. So I'm gonna answer it.

Here's what she asked: Have you ever had anything cause you to step back from writing? If so, what was the cause and how long did it take you to get back into the swing of things? If not, do you have any advice for other writers about not letting life get in the way of writing?

That's like a lotta questions. Since I'm a baby stepper, I have to break it down.

So, have I ever had anything cause me to step back from writing? Well, I've only been at this for about a year, so "life" hasn't gotten in the way yet. The thing that gets in my way? Me, Myself and I.

And here's why I can blame everything on myself.

I have the posh life. I teach elementary school 20 hours a week. I have a three-day weekend every single weekend. I have nearly 3 months off in the summer, and a good 2 weeks at Christmas. On working days, I have the hours between 3-5 PM and 9-11 PM to write. Do I? Sometimes. I usually do pretty well at night after my kids have gone to bed. But after school? Um, yeah, I'm usually on the Internet. Doing research. Yeah...research. Or something.

So when I step back from writing it's because I've gotten in my own way. Deep, I know. I have to relax, forget about the rejections, get out of the Pool of Writing Funk, and just breathe. Let myself go. Write.

This can take a couple of minutes of stern self-lecturing. Or a day of IM-ing with my sister. Or a week of wallowing in the pool until my skin is all wrinkly and about to fall off. Or a trip to the virtual couch of my wiser and long-suffering writing buddies. The point, though, is that I always come back. Recently, I've realized that I don't have to be so gung-ho about writing. That I can have my own permission to relax. That it's okay to take a break. Writing will still be there. Waiting.

My advice for getting yourself back into writing? Um, just do it? Yeah, that sounds good. Or maybe because I'm worth it. Or maybe just keep going and going and going...

Okay, okay, enough slogans.



Happy Friday the 13th! Watch out for those black cats and ladders...oh, and cracks. Yeah, those are definitely dangerous.

Drying Off From the Pool of Writing Funk

Man, this chain was awesome. I love reading about all the things my sunblock-slathered friends do to get out and stay out of the Pool of Writing Funk. I think I may have inadvertantly cursed some of them...ahem. Hopefully, they'll forgive me.

I started the chain with my totally awesome clips from The Office.

Leah ponders her way out of the pool with music and calls to her mom. I totally let that slide because she is just so durn snarftastic--and she did give an insightful response.

Heather got the chain all sticky with her Ghostbusters 2 clip. But it was perfectly perfect. That river of negativity sometimes flows under my house, and only my house. And her marathon quote made it on the wall next to my blue chair so I can read it daily.

Jess tried to smite the pool with her mighty pen. And she conquered by resolving never to give up. She had THE COOLEST video on her post. Give it at least a minute to get started, and you won't be sorry.

Mary flat out refused to get near the pool. The nerve. (ha ha!) Her half-glass-full attitude--and her kids--keep her from getting even a toe wet.

The lovely Kate refrained from swimming in the pool due to illness. Hopefully she feels defunkified by now. We all appreciate the stoppage of the spreadage of germs during this infectious time.

Archetype denies the existance of such a pool. Then she reminds us that taking a break is okay, and that writing should be enjoyable. Then she acquiesced to my *demand* of something funny with the infamous LOL cats (which totally makes me happy).

Michelle hosed herself off by reading and doing dishes. The lol cat at the top was made of awesome. And I love being referred to as "my fabulous Elana." I think everyone should start calling me that.

Sandra got up her gumption and brilliantly mixed in a little motorcycle metaphor. She's not in the lake people, she's in the ocean. It's deep--and awesome.

Abi went straight for the writing elixir, which sounds dangerous and exciting at the same time. Especially when I found out she overlooks the ocean. So. Not. Fair.

And that's the hot-towel wrap up. I hope you enjoyed the chain as much as I did. And in other blog chainerific news, we'll be including two new bloggers in the next round of chain madness! Kat and Christine don't know what they've signed on for--mwa, ha, ha!

Getting In (and Out) of the Pool of Writing Funk

It's time for the blog chain again, and this time, you have to put up with me. That's right, folks, I get to choose the topic. Since I've been struggling with this the past few days weeks months, I'm interested to know what other writers do. We're gonna be all over the Elana-pool today, so prepare yourselves. Maybe a life jacket or two. One of those buoy things. Whatever keeps you afloat.

Ready? Let's jump in.


When you're in a pool of writing funk, how do you get out? And this is the deep end, people. Answers like, "take a walk" or "call my mom" won't cut it. That will leave you splashing in the deep end without a life preserver. And I had to fire my lifeguard last week for obvious budget cuts, so don't even go there. This is deep, people.

Now doggie paddle to the shallow end. I want your favorite funny and/or thing that makes you happy. A cartoon. A quote. An lol cat (just for you Michelle). A song. Something I can steal and put in my arsenal to combat the writing blues. Pull out your best one, peeps. I need something good this month. You never know, your "life-saver" could become mine. Yes, I'm just that illegal.


Not sure what the Pool of Writing Funk is? Maybe you've heard of the Lake of Self-Doubt. No? The Ocean of What-the-heck-am-I-doing? Or maybe each rain drop in your life seems to whisper, "You're not good enough." These all contribute to the pool.

So I guess I have to wallow in my own pool. When I'm in a funk, which seems to be happening every other day these days, what do I do? First, I don't wallow alone. That's right. I drag others down with me. Lol! No, seriously, my writerly friends are a tremendous help to me. All it takes is a post, an email or an IM and I'm with people who understand. (I guess you could say you call your mom if she's also a writer and knows what it feels like to be on the losing end of this whole writing thing. Otherwise, don't…just don't.)

Another thing I try to do when I'm feeling out of sorts is read. I've had to make the rule that blogs and forums don't count. A book. An article. (Right, like I'm that deep. Puh-lease.) Mostly books. I also plan an escape. For me, this is into a virtual world. I love to play video games. I killed Piñata Party. I raised those piñatas like nobody's business. My garden ruled. I also like Bookworm, and that game always provides an escape for me. From life, from writing, from that stupid character who just won't do what I want them to. Or the plot hole. Yeah, I run from those.


Okay, give me a sec to get to the shallow end of the pool. Whenever I need something to make me spew on the screen, I retreat to the TV. I know, I know, some of you don't like TV. But there is nothing like watching an episode of The Office. Maybe Seinfeld. Now that you can watch pretty much anything you want OnDemand, I can always slam the computer closed and curl up on the couch with the remote in hand. I love to laugh, and there's nothing like a good sitcom to cheer me up. Here's my favorite clip from The Office. Yeah, I like physical humor stuff.



That is my kind of exercise!

And this one is the funniest thing I've seen in like, forever. I rewound it over and over. Dwight is my favorite character. Well, maybe Jim. Or Stanley. Dude, I love them all!



Can't. Stop. Laughing. And that's the shallow end of the Elana-pool, people.

Ahem, back to the Pool of Writing Funk. All this and you don't even have to wear your swimming suit to dive into this pool. Check out what Leah does while floundering in the pool and meet me back here for a complete hot-towel wrap up at the end of the chain.

An Interview with ElanaJ

Blog chain time again. This time Abi started the party and I'm up next. It's hard to go so soon in the chain, I have to admit. I need a lot of stewage time for things I'm "putting out there."

Luckily, this didn't require too many brain cells. Abi presented some questions for this round.

1. What writing related things have you done in the past?
2. What WiP's (work in progress) are you working on now?
3. Do you have anything brewing for the future?
4. Are you setting any writing goals or resolutions for 2009?

I think I'm gonna tackle all of them. I mean, it's the new year, I gotta be an overachiever for once. By the time February hits, I'll be back to taking the easy way out, trust me.

And just to spice it up, I'm gonna pretend like it's an interview between me and some fabulously good-looking male writer at Entertainment Weekly. Hey, it's good practice for when I get published, right? Yeah, let's go with that.

EW: What writing related things have you done in the past?
EJ: Well, I've not really done anything. In fact, I hated English in high school and college. I took AP English in hs just to get out of taking it later. No joke. I started writing in November 2007 as an escape from something traumatic that happened to me. With words, I stopped living in a black-and-white world.

EW: What are you working on now?
EJ: What aren't I working on now? Ha ha! No, seriously, I'm currently revising a novel about ghosts. If they weren't already dead, I would kill them. They aren't really cooperating right now, but I'm typing them into submission. That's my January project. In February, I've already slated my writing time to finishing my NaNo novel. I need an ending. And a climax. It's too bad there isn't like a "Stellar Plots R Us" in my neighborhood.

EW: Do you have anything brewing for the future?
EJ: I always have something brewing, baby. Right now, I'm focusing on finishing up revisions and finding an ending for my novel. But I did start a straight YA novel in December. Shocking, I know. No super powers. No cool technology. Nothing. Just high school. But that can be the most dangerous place in the universe, so we'll see.

EW: What are your goals or resolutions for 2009?
EJ: Write everyday. In fact, I already blogged on this. I'm going to add one thing to that list. I'm going to take on PJ Hoover's challenge to read 50 books in 2009. Oh, and HL Dyer posted this on the QT blog, and it pretty much summed up my goals for 2009.

EW: Thanks ElanaJ, for spending time with us today. We look forward to reading your novels in print one day.
EJ: I had such a lovely time with the guy from EW. We ate Drake's coffee cake in a sunny lounge in downtown San Diego. Here's hoping everyone has a wonderful, success-filled year! Check out Terri's post, the next link in the blog chain.

Why Life Takes Perseverance--Especially the Life of a Writer

It's blog chain time again. This round, we've decided to blog on whatever we want. Scary, huh? So I've chosen to go the more serious route this go-round, especially with the new year looming. I'm fairly certain Kate has posted before me and Sandra will be up in the next couple of days.


Alert: This is rambling, totally true, personal life-story with a lesson (hopefully) at the end.

So I'm a writer. I'm not in the closet about it. If you could possess one quality for writing--or for life--it should be perseverance. That's my lesson for today. I'm sure my experiences are not unique, surely every one of us has had something we've had to endure. For me it was college.

And the story begins...you might want to strap yourselves in.

I graduated from high school with several Advanced Placement credits under my belt. Picture the band geek with straight A's. Yeah, that was totally me. Feeling pretty good about myself, I enrolled at the local university and my AP credits filled some general electives--classes I now didn't have to take. Nice.

Then I got married. Young, I know--30 days after my 19th birthday in fact. I moved 150 miles south and enrolled in a new university after only one quarter at the one I'd just started. The new school took most of my credits. I worked hard and earned an Associate's degree by the end of the next summer. I'd been married 8 months, and out of high school for 15.

Then I moved to a new university. (That's number 3 for those of you counting. The applications forms, fees, transcript requests, letters of recommendation...it was a nightmare.) I attended this university for a year and a half before my husband's job transferred him 300 miles south.

So...in the middle of July, 9 months pregnant with my first child, I moved to Southern Utah. It's hot there, in case you didn't know. Like really hot. Over 110 degrees the day we moved in. I thought that would be the end of college for me. 3 schools, over 400 miles from where I'd started, a baby on the way. I was done.

Or not. I had this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I needed to finish. My son was born in August--not the best time to go back to school. So I took a semester off and applied to Southern Utah University on the day applications were due.

I got accepted and drove 50 miles each way--with my four-month-old baby in the backseat--to attend classes. So with the 100-mile round trip with the screamer in tow, a husband who made $12,000 a year, and the thought that I wanted to teach (because there's big bucks in that *snort*), I went to college.

My husband quit working for the Jazz (the 12 K plus commission just wasn't enough) and got another job cleaning carpets. This allowed him to take a class or two at night. By now, I had to student teach. It's a lot more than attending classes. It's all day. So I enrolled my son in daycare and finished my degree.

Upon graduation, I got a job teaching music and art--not my major field of study, I have a math minor--in Alpine School District, back in central Utah. I will never forget the day I signed my contract. It should have been one of the happiest days of my life. It wasn't. More like the suckiest. My husband took my son down the street to the store while I filled out all the paperwork. I cried. At the desk with the lady in human resources looking at me like I was crazy. I'm sure she was thinking, "And we want this girl teaching our kids?"

Yeah. I was 22 and had worked my freaking butt off in college, was raising a kid, trying to make ends meet. I signed my contract in April, guaranteeing myself a whopping $22,091 for the coming year. Oh, but I wouldn't get paid until the end of September--for a job that started August 11. No joke.

So what did I do? What I always do: I persevered.

My husband and I moved in with my parents (gag) and spent the summer working. We managed to save enough so that we could move back to central Utah and I could start teaching. We made it from August 4 to September 30 without a paycheck. Major big time suckage.

Since then, things have gotten progressively better. My husband graduated, also in education. It only took him 5 years. And he makes slightly more than the 22K I started at. I now teach half-time and make more than I did when I started full-time. Because I worked my tail off again. With full-perseverance mode on, four years and 53 credits later, I had earned a Master's equivalency. It's basically my district's way of saying I have enough credits to have a Master's degree, but I didn't go through a university program to do it.

What does that take? Perseverance.

I warned you about the life story. I swear I'm almost done.

The point of all this? It takes an insane amount of perseverance to become a published author. It takes more than just writing. It takes writing a good book. Researching agents. Submitting. Getting rejected. Over and over and over. But if you persevere through all that, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me, I've been through a lot of tunnels. There is always another side. The sun is usually shining on that side. And birds are singing, wildflowers blooming, the pleasant sound of the waterfall. Sure, sometimes there's that girl in the human resources department crying because her four years of struggling only netted her $22,091. Not all tunnels are created equal.

When I first started writing, it felt like college. And trust me, for me, that's not a good feeling. You work in college. You pay them. You don't get paid for all the work you do. That's writing. You write. You pay to send out queries, print manuscripts, buy a laser printer, etc. You don't get paid to do any of it. Until you persevere long enough to secure the agent and sign the publishing contract.

Now that's another contract I'll cry when I sign. And I will sign it. Because I know myself well enough by now to know that I can persevere long enough to do it. Because, just like that nagging feeling when I almost quit college, I have this bug in my head telling me to keep writing. I've learned to listen to that voice. Good things happen when I persevere through the quagmire to reach the end of the tunnel. The proof is in my past.

So go persevere at whatever you're doing! This New Year, make a goal for yourself and don't stop until you reach it, even if it takes more than a year. More than two. More than ten. A line from one of my favorite movies (major kudos if you know it). "No! Never give up. Never surrender."

Life story, over and out. Happy New Year!

I Wish Death to this Blog Chain

Abi always gives a little precursor to what the blog chain is...I've never done that. So here's my best shot. A bunch of us writerly types from QueryTracker decided to form a chain. We called it a blog chain. We made a special place where we meet on RallyStorm. After much discussion, we decided that the topics would be chosen on a rotational basis (my turn is coming very soon, *gulp*) and everyone would blog about the same topic in an orderly manner.

So...to keep linkage in the chain: Sandra started the chain this time. As usual, Abi posted before me and Terri is up tomorrow.

Okay, so my (lack of) intelligence is really starting to show. When I read this topic, absolutely nothing came to mind. And this is supposed to be MINDLESS musings. Even that's really hard when there's just...nothing. Bear with me.

Anyway, here's the topic this go-round: What is the role of wish fulfillment in fiction? What personal wishes do you want your stories to fulfill? Are they the same ones you want to read about? How do our fictitious wishes affect our everyday wishes?

I'm going to really focus on the middle two questions: What personal wishes do you want your stories to fulfill? Are they the same ones you want to read about?

I posted about Why I Read and Why I Write here. For me, this is my wish fulfillment blog chain post four months early. Though I like my whole list, I'll elaborate a little bit on a couple of my favorites.

1. When I read, I want to escape my real life. This influences my writing greatly. I want to write stories that aren't real, but close. That provide an escape for me when I read them again, and hopefully to fulfill this wish in other readers who have this desire when they read. I don't mind realistic fiction, but it isn't my favorite. I want to get lost for a while. No dishes. No laundry. Portals. Magic. A cool power. If you have this wish when you read, we read the same stuff. It's what I write as well.

3. I want to experience my first kiss again. And again. And again. I love romance. I'm not a great writer of it, but I like writing young adult where there is a little romance, possibly a first-time romance. I don't think my first kiss like, changed my life or anything, but it's something you can never do "first" again. So I like reading and writing about the first kiss. Sweet, simple, romantic.

6. I want to have a cool super power that allows me to do cool things. Almost everything I read that I love involves a main character that can do something no one else can. Something that makes them special. Something that can save the day at the right time. Percy Jackson by Rick Riordian comes to mind. I mean, the guy's a half-blood. How awesome is that? I totally want to be a half-blood. Or someone who can hear someone else's thoughts. Or can control the wind. Use magic. See the future. Something kewl. So I write stories with characters who can do things I wish I could do.

I definitely read what I like to write. And I wish I could do what my characters can.

And now it's time to pass the torch to Terri. Check out her post, which will be up sometime tomorrow.

On the Blog Chain - Inspirational Thoughs

Um, what?

Yeah, that's how I'm starting this one. Michelle McClean is to blame for this latest round of carnage chainage. For this chain, Kate posted before me and Terri is coming up tomorrow.

Here's what Michelle has cursed me with: Share a favorite poem, quote, joke, anecdote, or anything of the sort that deals with writing, writers, the publishing industry, or the other strange and unusual tidbits that belong to our little world.

She got me at "deals with writing, writers, the publishing industry, or the other strange and unusual tidbits that belong to our little world."

Ugh.

I have no writerly quotes, inspirational or otherwise. I have some quotes that I love but they don't pertain to writing. They more inspire me to be the best gosh-darn person I can be. So that's not gonna work.

So I googled. When in doubt, nothing beats google, except maybe ask.com. They're pretty good too. But then I went through this:

Frantic Self: Gotta find somethin' good, gotta find somethin' good...

Practical Self: This is so dumb. If I don't have something I live by, what's the point? It's just gonna be garbage I spew out to be in the chain...oooh! That looks good...

Frantic Self: Can't drop out this round, this is a great topic. I love Michelle, even if her boxes have eyes...

Practical Self: I am wasting so much time on google. I could be on Rally, QT, writing, reading blogs, cooking dinner, or watching Survivor. Hmm...click on that one...noooo! Look away, look away!

Frantic Self: *deep breath* Okay, just find one thing. One thing will be good enough...

Practical Self: I hate being at the beginning of the chain, I really need more time for stewage. Just think, Frantic Self, we'll have to pick the topic soon...

Frantic Self, even more frantic: You're not helping! *grumble* Pick the topic, sheesh Practical...just...need...one...thing...

Practical Self: ...

So I've got nuthin'. I'm just going to share my one favorite quote. I adore most of what Teddy Roosevelt said; he was such an inspirational person. This quote could apply to writing if you squint at the screen just right and really stretch the bounds of your imagination. Isn't that what writers do? Or maybe that's just me...the squinting and stretching part.

"When you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, 'Certainly I can!' Then get busy and find out how to do it."

---Theodore Roosevelt

I had this quote on the wall of my classroom for eight years. I think it's a good mantra for anyone in any walk of life. And that's all I have for this topic.

Angsting Over the Blog Chain

It's time for the wild ride that is the blog chain. Strap yourselves in people, this one's gonna be rough. Archetype started this topic. Abi posted just before me, and Terri's post will be up mañana.

So here's the question of the chain: Some people argue that creative people need “angst” to produce good work. Do you? What emotions drive you as a writer?

I'm gonna break this up a little. Here's the first part again. Some people argue that creative people need "angst" to produce good work. Do you?

I don' think it's so much what I feel when I'm writing as much as it's what I experience when I'm not. The angst I feel about writing comes when I'm not writing. I've written something and now I'm stuck. What comes next? How do I get Jared back to Montana? What will Vi do now that Jag has said those three little words? Can she say them back? How can Hunter defeat his enemies? Oh, and how's he gonna get out of that bank alive?

That's my angst. When I'm writing, I'm fine. It's when I paint myself into a corner that I'm angsty.


Or when I have two scenes that need to connect somehow and I just can't quite figure it out. This requires much thinkage. And in my world, thinkage = angst. My angst-thought areas are: the shower (maybe TMI? Tighten your seat belt...), driving in the car, and as I'm waiting to fall asleep. That's when I have time to devote to "angsting" about my writing.

But I never angst during the actual writing.

So on to part two: What emotions drive you as a writer?

I need to be able to place myself directly in a situation. I think some people can do this better than others. I have been known to bite every fingernail I own while reading a book or watching movies. Things are just so real to me.

When I was younger, an episode of "The Facts of Life" scared me to death. I can still see it in my mind. (I looked for it on youtube, but even I do not have unlimited time. Have you seen how many episodes of TFOL there are? Sheesh.) Ever since then, I absolutely cannot sleep without being able to see the door. Or without any coverings, no matter how hot it is. This is completely illogical of course, since I'm practically blind and can't see at night anyway. But I can imagine the situation and place myself directly in it. I could write it if I needed to.

I refuse to watch movies like The Ring, news programs that talk about serial killers, or anything else remotely scary. After watching a 20/20 program on the BTK killer, I made my eight-year-old son check the closets if the doors had mysteriously closed. Seriously. I think everything I see or read could happen to me. And that's scary.

When we moved into our house several years ago, one of the first things I did was plan where I would hide if someone tried to break in. (In my defense, we were one of the first families to move into our development and there were construction crews everywhere. And no one nearby for help.) I have this way overactive imagination that conjures up the worst thing that could happen and then I decide what I would do in that situation.

I once watched a TV show like CSI or some crime show like that. This murderer guy was hiding out in the ceilings of his victims. Then he would call them on the phone and say things to them that portrayed that he could see them. It freaked me out. I refused to sleep in rooms where anyone would be able to crawl into the ceiling to murder me. Luckily, at the time, we lived in an apartment building on the bottom floor. When we went out of town, I insisted we sleep in the basement. No, I'm not kidding.

This kind of fear--the ability to place myself in any situation--is what I think helps me write. I experience it right along with my characters as I put them in horrible situations. I'm able to make up ways for them to get out of their scary situations, because yanno, I've done that in my real life.

Some of my favorite books are the Harry Potter's. But I absolutely hate number 5, The Order of the Phoenix. Don't get me wrong, I've read it several times and watch the movie quite a bit too. The reason I don't like it? It's filled from page one to whatever with injustice. It just makes me so mad. I use injustice to inspire anger in my writing as well. I think everyone feels like they've been wronged at some point in their life, and they can identify to an injustice and the anger that comes from it.

So I use terror, injustice and blind rage to drive my writing. Freak, I might need to schedule a therapy session for my angst issues. I toldja to hold on tight.

Don't forget, Terri is up tomorrow.

Confidence...or Maybe Not

I'm back on the blog chain for this post. You can check out the beginning post by Kate, she had some awesome things to say about voting against yourself, even if you think you're totally the best. Archetype blew my socks off with the post of the year, something I printed and will read every day. Then Michelle got my spirits soaring again, just knowing that I'm not the only one who cycles in and out of the whole confidence thang. Then Sandra made sure to remind me to have confidence in other parts of my life, and finally the poster (it has a T, posTer) before me was Abi, and she had some great things to remind yourself of when the Con man comes calling. Check them all out. Oh, and Terri will be up tomorrow, so keep the linkage going.

Here's the question: How, as a writer, do you find the balance between having too much or too little confidence in your work?

I think confidence comes in levels—no, let's go to DreamWorks—layers. (Quick! Name that movie. Gifts at Rally for all who get it right. ) Like onions. Or cakes. Or whatever else you can think of with layers. Confidence is like that.

So what does that mean? Hmm…here's my take.

I have the many faces of Elana. Sometimes I wear the Mom face. Sometimes the teacher face. Sometimes the party girl face. Sometimes the authority face. Sometimes...you get the idea. It's sorta like that Seinfeld where George's worlds collide. Have you seen that one? Elaine invites Susan—George's fiancée—to the museum or something. He's got Relationship George and Independent George. The Independent George will die at the hands of Relationship George as the worlds collide. Wait. How did we get on Seinfeld? Well, since we're there, have a look.



My favorite line: "A George divided against itself, cannot stand!" I so feel like this. We can't be our own worst enemy.

Let's get back on topic. So I've got all these different personas I maintain. Each one has a different layer of confidence. It takes an insane amount of confidence to teach. Not only do I have to know something, I have to believe that I know it so well that I can teach it to you. I have to have the confidence that when I get up in a room of 40 (no, that is not a typo, I have 40 of them at once) 12-year-olds, that what I'm going to say is worth listening to. I have to have the skills to get them to listen to it. The confidence in myself to know that it's worth listening to. That's insane.

I have that confidence. When I go to work, I am the queen.

Other areas of my life, I'm less confident in. Cooking. Uhhh, maybe it'll come out right, maybe it won't. Sewing. I hemmed some pants the other day. Not so even. Crafting—I'm confident in this. I can make a cute card, no problem.

Then there's the whole writing thing. This has been the craziest roller coaster of my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm the awesomest writer on the face of the planet. I've just put my characters in the worst possible situation, and they have no way of getting out. I've tied up all the loose ends (or so I think) and typed THE END at the end. It's phenomenal. Everyone's going to be salivating over it.

Yeah, right.

Those times are good, but they're fleeting. Then the Confidence Annihilator comes in and shatters my carefully constructed fantasy world. He whispers to me that my story isn't good enough. That it's nowhere near as polished as I think it is. That so-and-so's story is so much better, and why are you even trying to do this?

That I can't write.

Worse than that—that I shouldn't.

When I listen to the Confidence Annihilator, the many layers of confidence I've built up crumble. In order to continue writing, my confidence must be rebuilt. This takes time, bolstering from good friends, and the annihilation of the Annihilator. And this is almost as hard as the writing itself. At least for me.

So what do I do?

1. Read good things. Books, articles, magazines, blogs, whatever. Anything to help me keep the writing "bug" in my head—the one that bugs me to write.

2. Put the manuscript away. There's no need to commit manuscript manslaughter during a rebuild of confidence.

3. Vent to my writerly friends. They know. They understand. They uplift. They believe.

4. Listen to music. My favorites during a confidence rebuild? Video by India Arie.

"I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen"

I love that part. Then there's this too. Same song.

"So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Clear your mind, now's the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
'Cuz everything's gonna be all right"

I especially love the "love yourself" part.

5. Try something new. This last dip in confidence has been, um, taxing, to say the least. I decided to write by hand instead of on the computer. This has helped me find more confidence in my writing ability.

And so, don't divide yourself against yourself. You cannot stand. The Confidence Annihilator will come, that is inevitable. It's what you do to get rid of him that matters.

Blog Chain - Perkiness, Quirkiness, Smirkiness

Quirkiness, smirkiness. Here we go. You asked for it.

The topic for this chain is quirkiness, not to be confused with perkiness. One I have a lot of, the other, not so much. The awesome Mary started this topic, and her post on her neatness and her sheep are awe-inspiring. There have been uber-fantastic posts between hers and mine, so go check them out. The blogger before me was Abigail and the next person is Terri. Keep the linkage going, baby.

So here's the question Mary posed:
What kind of quirky habits or rituals do you have regarding your writing? (or regarding anything else, if that is more fun.)

Many people have posted pictures of their writing space. Um, I can't do that. I don't have a desk. I write on a laptop, and it's become a third appendage. It goes with me everywhere I go. I write on the couch while my husband plays X-box, at the counter while I eat breakfast, or in my office at school during lunch. (In fact, I'm posting this during lunch.)

My favorite place to write is in our old, blue recliner upstairs. I guess I can post a picture of it. This is my desk space. It's right by the window, which is a bonus, because it has a windowsill for my popsicle sticks, my USB drive, pens, the remote, and anything else small enough to fit. There's no place I like better than my blue recliner. The footrest up, headphones on, laptop open…ahhh, the life.

I'm very orderly, not to be confused with organized. That's one thing I'm not. But everything has an order, and must be done in that order. I feel funny writing that, because I very rarely write a novel from beginning to end. I guess it's the process I go through to write that's orderly.

I guess I'll call it a routine. I think routines are important. I teach school, and I always joke that things don't go well until the kids are trained, which is about October. My husband and I refer to the kids as dogs. Now, before you go all postal on me, I don't think kids are actually dogs, but they are very trainable. Once they know the routine, they very seldom deviate from it. I live my life like this. Everything has a routine. I get nervous if the routine is disrupted in any way. I guess that's my quirk.

Before I write, I open the Internet. I check email, then my forums. Once I'm satisfied I'm all caught up, I open what I'm working on. I usually back-read about ten pages to get myself in the right mindset, editing as I go. I make a few notes about what's coming next, and then I write. I always do everything in the same order. Before I quit, I make a few notes about what I should work on the next writing session, just to remind myself.

It's all in the routine of writing. It doesn't matter if I only have a 30-minute lunch to write or a two hour block of time after my kids go to bed. I always follow the same routine.

I'm not really sure that's quirkish enough for you. So I guess I'll spill a couple other quirky behaviors about myself. Notice I said quirky, not to be confused with obsessive. I'm a very scheduled person. I get up at the same time every work day. I get ready in the exact same order—shower, dress, check email, brush teeth, dry hair, makeup, dress daughter, do her hair, breakfast. If I have to deviate from the order, I'm all discombobulated for the rest of the morning. Like if my daughter won't come when I call her, I just stand there at the top of the stairs, trying to decide what to do. I can't do anything, because it's simply time for her to get dressed and do her hair. I can't go out of order.

I drive the same way to daycare and then school. When they closed the road (for construction, it's open again, phew) to my daughter's daycare, I just sat there at the intersection, a little nervous. It's not that I don't know my way around the city. I've lived here for nine years. It's my routine—and it's being disrupted. Eliza even says, "Mom, this isn't the way to Rainy's." I grip the wheel a little harder, try to smile, and say, "I know, but we can get there this way, too." We really can. It's no big deal. Except that it is.

Everything must flow in order. And it's time to check the email, yes, I do that about forty times a day. There's always time for email, that can come in any order. How's that for quirky?

Yeah, check out the next blogarific link in the chain, Terri.