I have to admit, I'm a bit sad that Oprah will be quitting in 2011. I mean, think of all of us that won't be able to be on her show! Okay, I've never really thought I was "Oprah material", but still. It is a little depressing.
How are we going to know what to buy people for Christmas? How are we going to know which books to read? How are we going to know anything anymore??
Sheesh.
So in honor of Oprah leaving (I know, I know, 2011 is so far away. But not really. I mean, it's almost 2010! Ack!), I'm going to go all Oprah on you.
No really. You think Oprah's the only one who can ask questions? The only one who can get a thoughtful discussion going? Well, okay, maybe that last one is a stretch for this blog.
But seriously. I'm Oprah today. And you're my guest. Imagine you've been in hair and makeup for three hours. The crowd of women is going completely crazy. I've got footage of your hometown, your job, your car, the whole she-bang. (Wow, what a great word. Must jot down...) And I'm calling your name and you're walking out and the lights are so so bright and there's screaming and you're waving with both hands, this huge Chesire grin on your face... Ahhh, are you with me? We're on Oprah.
Oprah/Elana: So, tell me about your book.
You: (fill in silence. There really can't be any silence during the show.)
Oprah/Elana: What prompted you to write this book?
You: . . .
O/E: So what do you do when you're not writing?
You:
O/E: What do you hope to accomplish with this book?
You:
O/E: What are you planning to work on next?
You:
O/E: Thanks for joining us today. We'll be right back.
FIVE MINUTES LATER (if you use a Spongebob voice, this is really funny. Just sayin'. Don't watch Spongebob? You = deprived.)
O/E: We want to thank you for joining us today. Here's what's happening on the Oprah show tomorrow. (fade to clip)
And now you can breathe again. But couldn't you so see yourself on Oprah? Yeah? Me too. But that's as close as we're going to get. She's quitting in 2011! Dudes. Yeah, just yeah.
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Showing posts with label fake interviews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fake interviews. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Introducing Jag Barque
Okay, people, this is a character interview. Jag is the kewlest guy on the planet...in about 200 hundred years. 
He's the male MC in Control Issues. And he's taking over all the space in my head. So I'm letting him out...now. Maybe then he'll shut up and leave me alone. Not likely, though.
He might look something like Mark Ballas, although it's been incredibly hard to find a picture of Jag. But Mark's hair here is the closest I can find even though Jag's would be way spikier and more wickedly cool.
EJ: So tell us a bit about yourself.
So here's the question. Do you ever battle with your characters? Do you write down their favorite foods, their birthday, the type of music they listen to? Do you know how they would react to every situation, every conversation? Do you know how they talk, what they would and wouldn't say? What they would do with their hands during a confrontation? What's in your character bible? (I totally stole this term from the ladies in my crit group. I can take no credit.)
And can you tell what kind of guy Jag is from the interview, which really reveals no information about him, other than he doesn't have a middle name. Oh, and a snarky streak that can only be matched by his female counterpart in the book. No wonder they're--oops, can't tell you that!
*snarfage*
He's the male MC in Control Issues. And he's taking over all the space in my head. So I'm letting him out...now. Maybe then he'll shut up and leave me alone. Not likely, though.He might look something like Mark Ballas, although it's been incredibly hard to find a picture of Jag. But Mark's hair here is the closest I can find even though Jag's would be way spikier and more wickedly cool.
EJ: So tell us a bit about yourself.JB: Silence. Icy glare from his blue eyes.
EJ: *clears throat* Okay, what's your name?
JB: Jag Barque.
EJ: No middle name?
JB: Not one I'm aware of.
EJ: Does Jag stand for something?
JB: Stand for something? Like world peace and all that?
EJ: *blushing* No, like is it a nickname?
JB: No.
EJ: *nervously scanning notes that blur together* Um, where are you from?
JB: The Badlands.
EJ: Is it nice there?
JB: Nice? Yeah, sure, it's Nice there.
EJ: What's your favorite food?
JB: Favorite? That really makes no sense. I eat to stay alive. And I'll eat anything I can find.
EJ: So no chocolate chip ice cream for you, then?
JB: Nope. Ice cream tends to melt in the desert.
EJ: That it does. What do you like to do for fun?
JB: Fun? Besides trying to stay alive, I don't have much time for fun. But if you're going to badger me about it, I like to plan for my next mission. That's always fun.
EJ: Do you answer every question with a question of your own?
JB: *sighing* No.
EJ: You're right, only about half. Ahem. How do you get your hair to stick up like that?
JB: It's called gel. You do have gel in the past, right?
EJ: I'm asking the questions here. And for the record, yes, we have gel. Why won't you tell Vi anything?
JB: Eveyone's gotta learn for themselves.
EJ: *scoffs* Right. Like you did.
JB: Is that a question?
EJ: How about I kill you off at the beginning of book 2? Answer that question tough guy.
JB: You do what you have to do.
EJ: *sighs knowing she can't kill him off* Fine. Can you say what's going to happen next?
JB: *smirking* You're the author. I have no idea what tomorrow brings. Maybe you should write it.
EJ: Maybe you should stop harping on me about it.
JB: Maybe you need to stop thinking about those goth ghosts and focus.
EJ: *stands up* Leave Penelope out of this!
JB: *fists clenched, he stands too, and he's much taller than EJ* She's crowding me in here. I feel like I can't breathe. I'm choking.
EJ: *laughs* That's because you left--
JB: Shut up. Don't say it. Don't you dare say it.
EJ: *clamps mouth shut because the stupid boy has used his Voice power on her and she can't talk even if she wanted to*
JB: *glaring, arms folded, amusement in his icy eyes*
-------
And before this gets too embarrassing for all involved, that's where the interview ends. As you can see, I'm being nagged from all sides. Inside and out. Le sigh. Maybe he's right. Maybe I should just write it.
So here's the question. Do you ever battle with your characters? Do you write down their favorite foods, their birthday, the type of music they listen to? Do you know how they would react to every situation, every conversation? Do you know how they talk, what they would and wouldn't say? What they would do with their hands during a confrontation? What's in your character bible? (I totally stole this term from the ladies in my crit group. I can take no credit.)
And can you tell what kind of guy Jag is from the interview, which really reveals no information about him, other than he doesn't have a middle name. Oh, and a snarky streak that can only be matched by his female counterpart in the book. No wonder they're--oops, can't tell you that!
*snarfage*
Saturday, January 3, 2009
An Interview with ElanaJ
Blog chain time again. This time Abi started the party and I'm up next. It's hard to go so soon in the chain, I have to admit. I need a lot of stewage time for things I'm "putting out there."
Luckily, this didn't require too many brain cells. Abi presented some questions for this round.
1. What writing related things have you done in the past?
2. What WiP's (work in progress) are you working on now?
3. Do you have anything brewing for the future?
4. Are you setting any writing goals or resolutions for 2009?
I think I'm gonna tackle all of them. I mean, it's the new year, I gotta be an overachiever for once. By the time February hits, I'll be back to taking the easy way out, trust me.
And just to spice it up, I'm gonna pretend like it's an interview between me and some fabulously good-looking male writer at Entertainment Weekly. Hey, it's good practice for when I get published, right? Yeah, let's go with that.
EW: What writing related things have you done in the past?
EJ: Well, I've not really done anything. In fact, I hated English in high school and college. I took AP English in hs just to get out of taking it later. No joke. I started writing in November 2007 as an escape from something traumatic that happened to me. With words, I stopped living in a black-and-white world.
EW: What are you working on now?
EJ: What aren't I working on now? Ha ha! No, seriously, I'm currently revising a novel about ghosts. If they weren't already dead, I would kill them. They aren't really cooperating right now, but I'm typing them into submission. That's my January project. In February, I've already slated my writing time to finishing my NaNo novel. I need an ending. And a climax. It's too bad there isn't like a "Stellar Plots R Us" in my neighborhood.
EW: Do you have anything brewing for the future?
EJ: I always have something brewing, baby. Right now, I'm focusing on finishing up revisions and finding an ending for my novel. But I did start a straight YA novel in December. Shocking, I know. No super powers. No cool technology. Nothing. Just high school. But that can be the most dangerous place in the universe, so we'll see.
EW: What are your goals or resolutions for 2009?
EJ: Write everyday. In fact, I already blogged on this. I'm going to add one thing to that list. I'm going to take on PJ Hoover's challenge to read 50 books in 2009. Oh, and HL Dyer posted this on the QT blog, and it pretty much summed up my goals for 2009.
EW: Thanks ElanaJ, for spending time with us today. We look forward to reading your novels in print one day.
EJ: I had such a lovely time with the guy from EW. We ate Drake's coffee cake in a sunny lounge in downtown San Diego. Here's hoping everyone has a wonderful, success-filled year! Check out Terri's post, the next link in the blog chain.
Luckily, this didn't require too many brain cells. Abi presented some questions for this round.
1. What writing related things have you done in the past?
2. What WiP's (work in progress) are you working on now?
3. Do you have anything brewing for the future?
4. Are you setting any writing goals or resolutions for 2009?
I think I'm gonna tackle all of them. I mean, it's the new year, I gotta be an overachiever for once. By the time February hits, I'll be back to taking the easy way out, trust me.
And just to spice it up, I'm gonna pretend like it's an interview between me and some fabulously good-looking male writer at Entertainment Weekly. Hey, it's good practice for when I get published, right? Yeah, let's go with that.
EW: What writing related things have you done in the past?
EJ: Well, I've not really done anything. In fact, I hated English in high school and college. I took AP English in hs just to get out of taking it later. No joke. I started writing in November 2007 as an escape from something traumatic that happened to me. With words, I stopped living in a black-and-white world.
EW: What are you working on now?
EJ: What aren't I working on now? Ha ha! No, seriously, I'm currently revising a novel about ghosts. If they weren't already dead, I would kill them. They aren't really cooperating right now, but I'm typing them into submission. That's my January project. In February, I've already slated my writing time to finishing my NaNo novel. I need an ending. And a climax. It's too bad there isn't like a "Stellar Plots R Us" in my neighborhood.
EW: Do you have anything brewing for the future?
EJ: I always have something brewing, baby. Right now, I'm focusing on finishing up revisions and finding an ending for my novel. But I did start a straight YA novel in December. Shocking, I know. No super powers. No cool technology. Nothing. Just high school. But that can be the most dangerous place in the universe, so we'll see.
EW: What are your goals or resolutions for 2009?
EJ: Write everyday. In fact, I already blogged on this. I'm going to add one thing to that list. I'm going to take on PJ Hoover's challenge to read 50 books in 2009. Oh, and HL Dyer posted this on the QT blog, and it pretty much summed up my goals for 2009.
EW: Thanks ElanaJ, for spending time with us today. We look forward to reading your novels in print one day.
EJ: I had such a lovely time with the guy from EW. We ate Drake's coffee cake in a sunny lounge in downtown San Diego. Here's hoping everyone has a wonderful, success-filled year! Check out Terri's post, the next link in the blog chain.
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