Avoiding Annoyances

Okay, so everyone has things that annoy them. I do, trust me. A lot of things. For one, I can't stand it when people make fun of me for saying "front forward." I know it's wrong, okay? I just don't care!

So annoying.

But I've come up with a few tips that will hopefully save you some annoyance points. Then you can use them up on your kids and send them to bed early. *wink*

1. Work. Work is annoying. It gets in the way of what I want to do = write. I can't read blogs, I can't email or chat incessantly, and I can't sleep in until 9. You may say that giving up those things is actually good, that work is actually rewarding.

You would be wrong. And also now annoying me.

So I've got the solution: sell your book for millions! Foreign rights, movie rights, large print and/or audio rights! The sky's the limit, baby. I mean, you sold a book! Aren't you going to be like, uber-rich now??

Yes. Adios annoyance.

2. The Non-Getters. You know who these people are. They're not fans, or family members, or other writers. They're the people you barely know who ask you stuff and get close to you at parties and/or church because they think it's cool you're an author, but they clearly don't "get" anything about what it takes to A) write a book B) get an agent C) sell a book D) refine the book and/or E) actually publish a book.

They want a (free) signed copy at their earliest convenience.

I say: No problem! I've got just what you need to give them what they want.

A smile, a nod, a high-pitched laugh, and an early escape from the conversation by going, "Ca-caw! Ca-caw!" and having your friend rescue you when she hears the prearranged distress call (never leave home without it).

See ya later, alligator.

3. Good books. Yeah, they shouldn't annoy me. They do. I wish I'd written them. I wish other people weren't so dang talented. I wish, I wish, I wish.

So in my ultra-annoyed state over the fact that my creative genius is actually creative crap, I've devised a solution to this never-ending nightmare of annoyance.

I've started a little self-talk, and it goes something like this: "This is a very good book, Elana. You should learn from it instead of being so insanely jealous and/or depressed that you'll never write like this, and/or have such a vivid imagination, and/or tap into your emotions in the right way. Maybe consider taking some notes on what they do that you like so much, and hey, maybe you'll figure out where all the key points are so you can actually finish that outline you started three weeks ago and never finished, and oh my heck, your deadline is in like, less than a week, and you're not done yet, and why are you wasting time reading this annoyingly good book??"

So you can see what I've done here. I've actually distracted myself AWAY from the annoyance and into panic.

Works every time.

What annoys you, and what are your Annoyance Solutions?

**Disclaimer: this blog post may or may not contain situations that may or may not have occurred in my life. Or with this friend I know...