Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Okay, so this week is obviously music week, cuz that title is a song too. Le sigh. Can't win 'em all. Or maybe I am winning...

Anyway, today I'm asking for your best dialog. I'm planning a post on the QueryTracker blog about writing dialog and I didn't want to toot my own horn. Well, at least not quite so loud. I'm going to be using some examples from my own writing in the post, but I'd like to have some others.

So here's what I'm asking you to do.
1. Email me your best dialog. The most powerful line someone speaks in your book. The wittiest. The awesomest. Email: elanajohnson (at) gmail (dot) com. Oh, and put "dialog" in the subject line.
2. I may use it, I may not.
3. You can include a little blurb (if you want) that sets up the dialog. I don't need a one-page synop—or even a 250 word query letter. Just give me the context. (Example below.)
4. I'll credit you as the author and provide a link to your blog on the QT blog post. I'll also be analyzing why I think the dialog works so well, so if that bothers you, please don't submit. The readers of the blog will NOT be asked to critique your dialog - only I'm doing that. I'm nice. Promise.
5. The dialog excerpt shouldn't exceed 100 words. I want your very best! Your short very best.
























Okay, here's an example from one of my own WiP's. I don't want to say I'm the queen of dialog, although I am feeling quite Bee-ish lately.

This is a scene between Vi (Violet) and Zenn. They're walking in the park after dark—gasp!—and a hovercopter has shown up demanding to know why they've decided to become Rule-breakers. It's from a dystopian sci fi novel, just so you know. Oh and it's her birthday in a couple of week and Zenn's already said he has something for her. (blurb: 61 words)

Zenn turned toward me. "What have you done now?"
"Nothing," I answered. "I've done nothing this time." I'd been good for two months. It was the end of the term, the weather was finally getting better, and I didn't see any reason to cause problems.
"This time?" he asked. "What about last time?"
"Violet Schoenfeld, stay where you are!" a mechanical voice boomed. "The Green demands a hearing."
"Vi! The Green? What have you done?"
"Can I have my present now?" I asked.
(dialog: 79 words)

I am not going to analyze my own dialog here. You'll have to wait for the blog post on the QT blog. Neener, neener. However, if you'd like to rip me apart, that's fine. What does this dialog show? Do you get a sense of the characters? No? What do you get? Anything? Let me know. It's entirely possible this stinks of dead fish, but I kinda like it.

Remember, I don't want your dialog submission in a comment. Save the comments for your pithiness on my dialog. Or that picture of Adam Lambert...

Man, getting shredded has never felt so good. Bring it on!