I Wanna Be A Billionaire...

...and not for the reasons you think. Oh, no. For one reason.

You see, my husband drives a 1994 Ford Escort wagon.

Go ahead. Read that sentence again. Try to stifle the laughter. Then let it all out. It's okay, I've heard it before.

The piece of crap has many problems.

People's Exhibit A: The fabric on the ceiling (yeah, you read that right) is falling down. So he stapled it back to the roof.

People's Exhibit B: Someone backed into the passenger door (and didn't bother to tell us) and now that door won't open very far. This actually isn't too much of a problem, since we only take passengers in this car if we're trying to torture them into telling us a government secret.

People's Exhibit C: Did you read the word "wagon" up there? That should be enough, but sadly, it's not. It's also this funky color stuck somewhere between orange and beige. Sometimes we call it tan, sometimes coral. No one's really sure.

People's Exhibit D: No air conditioning. In case you didn't know, we live in Utah, and it's a desert out here. A hot, dry desert.

People's Exhibit E: It's a 1994. You do the math.

I wanna be a billionaire so freaking bad. Simply so I can buy my husband a new car. That's not so much to ask, right?

There Are No Small Deals

Hey, so I heard the wise Laura Rennert say this at the conference I just attended. (Side note: I'm presenting again -- this time at the League of Utah Writers -- this Saturday! Come see me if you can!)

She said, "There are no small deals."

My heart took courage at that. I've sort of been wrestling with something, and I hope it'll make sense.

I know my book isn't going to sell for a lot of money. I could go on and on about why I think that, but I'll spare you.

Let's just say I have a feeling. So here's my question for you:

Does that make my book not as good as one that does sell for a lot of money?

Does the amount of money paid make a book better?

And before you guys get all "That's ridiculous, E," or whatever whatever, really stop and think about it. When you read the deal on Publisher's Marketplace that says the trilogy sold in a major deal, don't you automatically think that book is better than one that didn't?

Just the same way we think some agents are better than others...? Bigger names = better agent, right?

So it stands to reason that bigger money = better book.

I have a firm opinion on this, but I'm wondering what you all think. So tell me! Does bigger money mean a better book? Why or why not? Or is Laura Rennert right and there are no small deals?