Okay, I'm going to admit something scary and wildly personal and something I hope I've been keeping deep inside (except from my CP's and others insane enough to encourage an email relationship with me).
But who am I kidding? You guys can see into my head, right?
Are you ready, though?
Okay, so I got my copy edits, and holy cow, you guys. It's the first time EVER that my book actually feels like a book. And it's still printed on 8 1/2 x 11 sheets of paper. But dude, it has all this writing on it from ACTUAL EDITORS, and it had the front pages of the book. You know the ones that we authorly people all read first. The ones that list the imprint, and the font the type is in and the date it was published. You read those right? Or is that only me...?
So those pages are in the copy edits. And it says "Copyright [insert little copyright symbol here] by Elana Johnson 2011."
I can feel the tears starting, but I'm blinking rapidly so I can keep reading what else is in those opening pages.
I look down, and there's an ISBN number for both the hardcover and the e-book.
My husband loses it.
I'm thisclose to sobbing, and I'm just sitting there holding this HUGE stack of paper, and it's not even a book but it's so a book, and not just any book, but MY BOOK.
And just as I'm about to let the tears out, I get hit with this giant wave of...
And that's my truth for today.
I'm terrified of my book being born.
More than dogs, more than ducks, more than running out of bacon, I'm scared of my book becoming real and the fact that other people are going to read it.
What are you afraid of?