Thursday, October 2, 2008

Holy Drama, Batman!

I've had so much drama this week. I need a rock to crawl under and just disappear for a while. On Tuesday, a student in my class fainted. Fell to the ground and everything. Gave a little shiver, moaned a little bit. It freaked me out. I thought she was having a seizure. I sent another student to to the office for help. We woke the student up, but she fainted again. And again. That's when 911 was called. Sirens. Crowds. Paramedics. Blood pressure taken. I see the bat signal...pressing the button...getting all leathered up.

To the batcave, Robin!

The next day, I had an angry parent in my classroom. I'm not going to go into details because it's just not fair (to her or me), but she was mad at me. Luckily, we talked through our issues, and she went home happy. But I never enjoy confrontation, and it just added more drama to my life. Good thing I had my bat mask on, she was a little intimidated by the ears, I think.

Today, I showed up to work to be informed that the Internet was down. I teach computers for eight classes a day, to students ranging in age from 5 - 12. The Internet is pretty important. Still, I've gone without it before, and we have a few programs at school the kids can play around with. I could've handled the loss of the Internet.

Holy login, Batman!

The Internet was the least of my problems. The entire network was down, despite what my district tech told me. He said the internal network was "fully functioning." Yeah, he was wrong.

The first class came in, tried to log in, couldn't. Panic rising...I don't have a back-up plan if the computers are completely defunct. Well, yes I do. Simon says, anyone? Come on, who wants to play that for five freaking hours? Not me.

I informed the tech that the internal network was indeed NOT working, and ran to the office, silky cape flowing behind me. I pulled out my Bat-stars and took down a couple of sixth graders who were in the hall when they shouldn't be. Yeah, I just wanted to use the cool tools in my Batbelt.

On my knees, I begged the principal to let me show Bill Nye videos. So, I watched eight (yes EIGHT) Bill Nye videos today. I like Bill, but...Holy Science Overload, Robin!

As if that weren't enough, I have a substitute tomorrow since I'm going on the Man Trip 2.5...details will be coming soon. I'm so excited to see what men do! But that's a whole different topic for another post. See? Even Batman gets distracted.

I'm hoping I can leave my bat costume in the sub plans and she'll be able to take over for me. I dunno, I mean, Batman doesn't have an easy job. Not just anyone can do it, you know.

Anyway, at lunch the tech left, informing me that the situation had been "escalated to 3Comm." I just stared blankly, nodding, smiling, thinking I needed a new job. I told one of my friends in the faculty room that apparently Vineyard Elementary is now part of the Department of Defense since we've been "escalated to 3Comm."

I'm still not sure what that means, despite my secret bat senses. All I know is, the Internet came back up around 1:00, but my internal network is still non-functioning. Maybe we need to be escalated to Congress or something. I'm not sure if Batman has that power or not, but I'm callin' in the all favors I have to those in a position to help. Superman. Wolverine. Mr. Incredible--he's got government connections.

Holy Drama this week, Batman.

Yeah, and it's only Thursday.


Michelle McLean said...

Well Holy Crap Elana!! No wonder you are on drama overload - yikes!!! Hope tomorrow is better (at least it's the last day before the weekend!!!)

Carrie Harris said...

Wow. I'm sorry. I'm sure your Batbrows were wrinkled with worry.

I'm sorry. I couldn't resist.

Anonymous said...

Hope the week ends better than it began. Happy Friday. I'm thinking of you.

Wear that cape with pride!

ali cross said...

Umm, I'm sorry?

But it sure made for fun reading so ... YAY for me!

I love how I can just hear YOU in your posts, Elana. Inflection and everything. It's awesome.

Holy Writing Skills, Batman.


Kate Karyus Quinn said...

Woh! That is a crazy week! That is also a lot of Bill Nye. I remember in elementary school when there was downtime the teacher having us play "heads-up seven-up". I have no idea if this is a game invented at my school, or if it is commonly known, but I actually sort of hated the game.

Jenn said...

Is your Batsuit dry-clean only? No wonder you're stressed! :D

You could have mixed up the Simon Says with a little hangman here and there. Or maybe a visit to the technology section of the library for a little lesson on the history of the computer would have kept your classes begging for more. :)

That stinks to be dead in the water during an entire day of teaching. The fainting child is super scary, too! Add in a confrontation with an angry parent, and well, I'd have put the mask on just so they wouldn't see me cry. :) I hope everything makes a turn for the better.

Anonymous said...

You guys are so nice. I took Friday off and went out of town. I don't know how things went yesterday, but I'm hoping there were no disasters. It's been a peaceful weekend so far. Phew.

jess said...

bwahahahhahha. i could not be laughing harder.

come see my new house.


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