Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Things I Just Don't Get

I like to think of myself as a fairly educated person. I have a college degree that I actually use. I graduated from said college with a 4.0. No, really. I've taken 53 post-graduate credits to earn a Master's Equivalency so my district will pay me more. You didn't know you could earn college credit for watching TV, didja? Hmm...I did. sengihnampakgigi But there are some things I just don't get. Here's what's on the top of the list at the moment.

1. People who drive slow. I mean, really. And if you are a said slow driver, why oh why do you pull out in front of someone and then go really, really slow? I just don't get it. I, myself, like to drive fast. Maybe that should be capitalized. Fast, people.

2. Boilers. It was 92 in the computer lab today. That's one degree hotter than yesterday if any of you are keeping track for like, a science experiment or something. The fans didn't do much unless I was right in front of them. The waves of heat slapped anyone who walked within 5 feet of the door. Oh, and everyone else in the building was all bundled up because their rooms are so cold. The custodian turned the boiler down 2 degrees. Um, yeah, 90 is still HOT, but thanks for trying. It just proves that the Magic 8 Ball is always right. I love that thing. I even put it in one of my novels. No, I am not joking.

3. Halloween. I think I'm going to duck now from all the outrage that will be flying over this one. I just don't get Halloween. Who wants to dress up, making a complete fool of themselves, just for fun? I just don't get that. I mean, I can buy candy at the store any day of the week, so what's the allure of Halloween? I'd rather have chips—or one of those awesome pretzels from Costco—than candy anyway. Or a lemonade bar. Or pizza. Now if someone was giving out whole pizzas, I might consider dressing up. But only for a minute, and then I'd just call in my own order. It's just another thing I don't get.

Am I alone in this? Can someone explain the mind of a slow driver? The inner mechanics of boilers? Why in the world we humiliate ourselves for the sake of sweets? Have at it.


Kate Karyus Quinn said...

I cannot explain the slow drivers (especially the ones who pull out in front of you - I don't think it is judgemental to say that such people are HORRIBLE) nor can I explain boilers, but Halloween I can do.

My sisters and I had a tradition of when we came home from trick or treating we would dump our candy on the couch, floor, or table and then sort everything into little piles. Snickers, Skittles, M&M's, etc. There was always the most perfect mix of every kind of candy you could ever want. You just can't buy that. Also my dad would then "inspect" our candy for needles or whatever and every year would say, "Oh, yeah, this doesn't look good. You better just give it all to me."

Jenn said...

I dislike Halloween on several levels. First of all, I'm a complete and utter baby when it comes to all things scary. Hate haunted houses, hate scary movies, the list goes on. Why people would want to scare themselves is totally beyond me. I also don't get the candy thing. Who on earth would enjoy eating smarties anyway? I would much rather go buy a pack of Twix bars. I personally give out pencils, little toys, or cracker packs to kids because I eat too much candy as it is and the last thing I need is to perpetuate the madness by sending it to other peoples' houses.

I do agree with Kate, though, about the magic of the post-Trick-or-Treating candy traditions. We sorted all our candy just like they did. Then I would take mine, count it up, and figure out how many days I could make it last if I ate one piece each day. Yeah, it was gone in a day and a half every year. :D

Anonymous said...

Kate - what a fun memory. Sadly, I have none. All I remember is that I either had to go as a Smurf (yes, remember those lame blue dudes?) or a drunken bum. Halloween...shudders.

Jen - I know! Twix, bring it on. And I'm a huge wimp too. I don't like being scared, and I don't think it's funny to scare other people. At least it's only one day a year.

jess said...

FAST! YES! is that genetic? it must be, b/c i AM THE SAME WAY. STEP ON IT OLD MAN!!

is this a bad time to tell you that i am going to be a 1994 high school class president for halloween? i'm even going to try to do the utah claw hair thing. and i have tapered pants with zippers on the sides.

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