Monday, September 7, 2009

Gangsta Style

Okay, let's have some fun. First, I'll let you inside my head. I had to go to a meeting a month or so ago. It was not a meeting I was looking forward to. It was summer, I didn't want to go, and the meeting was about making a schedule for a bunch of other people to follow.

Luckily, the three other people in the meeting are some of my favorite people who breathe oxygen. So I'm at the meeting and we're hammering out the schedule. Checking how many kids are in each class. Calling other principals. Reading a chart that someone from Jupiter made, cuz that thing was a beast. In order to read the chart, you had to attend graduate school for four years and obtain two Ph.D's. So since I'm the one with the math minor (not two Ph.D's, mind you) I've got the chart. I finally figure it out and the four of us think we've worked out a schedule that everyone is just going to love. How could they not? (insert snarfage and heavy sarcasm here)

With me still? So since I'm also sort of witty sometimes, (usually only on Mondays, which this meeting was on a Monday) I was designated as the official email writer. So the other three people are dictating and I'm typing the email.

And I happened to give one of the people a nickname. I'm all over nicknames. I really like them. My DH gives them to our kids, his students at school, even me. He calls them rapper names, I call them Gangsta names. Details, schmetails.

So I made one up for this guy. Let's call him Zach Attack. So ever since then, he's been trying to come up with a gangsta name for me. Which, I must admit, thrills me to no end. I've always wanted to have a gangsta name. (In high school, I went by "Lane" or "Lanie" or pretty much anything else that started with an L or an E.)

Problem: my name is, well, not that easily adapted to gangsta style. But he's been working on it with his team. That's right. A whole team. So he comes in the computer lab last week to run a couple of the names by me.

The one we like best: EJ Jamma.

My DH hates it. He thinks E-Jamma would be better. So I need some help. What should my gangsta name be?

Here's some I've come up with for some gangsta friends of mine. If you imagine a gangsta accent and like me swinging my arms with my fingers splayed out and some baggy pants and my hat on sideways and some serious bling, it really helps. Trust me.

Christine Fonseca: Fonz-C. (Yo, yo, yo, Fonz-C. How's the WiP?)

Suzette Saxton: Z-Shizzle (Have your peeps call mine, Z-Shizzle. We'll do lunch.)

Bethany Wiggins: Wigs (He-ey! Wigs is in da house! *imagine the heavy gold chainz and you'll be there with me*)

Michelle McLean: Triple M Stack (Triple M Stack is bustin' out the wordage, yo.)

Heather Dyer: HDMD (Dude, HDMD, keepin' it real.) many of your are uber-creative. What have you got for a name like Elana Johnson? And this picture totally made me laugh. Cuz, well, E-Jamma and Zach Attack, yeah, we're pretty much like these guys. Can't...stop...laughing!


Unknown said...

One of the best movies ever! I love that scene.

Can't come up with any Gangsta names today...I'm kinda stuck in weekend mode still. But if I think of any I'll be sure to head over here and share....Fo Shizzle!

ali cross said...

I'm down with the E-Jamma, yo.

And listen, dat posse sound totally dope, yo.

Stephanie McGee said...


Can't quite tell what it is they're doing in that picture...hmmmm...should I be worried about you, Miss EJ?

Abby Annis said...

I'm all tapped out this morning. But I will say that I really enjoyed the visual of you as a gangsta. That was awesome!

And don't feel bad that your name doesn't convert to gangsta easily. At least it's not easy to rhyme, causing people to fall back on that automatically. My nicknames have always been along the lines of Crabby, Stabby, Blabby, and even Flabby. That one's from girls camp. Good times!

If I come up with something, I shall return. Otherwise, I think E Jamma's pretty cool!

Christine Fonseca said...

YO EJ, I'm all over your new names! That's right, E Jamma...
Okay, I can't keep typing...laughingtoohard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its Fonz-C....out!

B.J. Anderson said...

Lol! That poster is awesome. And I like EJ Jamma. I'm really bad at gangsta names. My husband's awesome, though, so I'll have to ask him and get back to you. :D

Lisa Aldin said...

Love it! Ha!

Jeannie Campbell, LMFT said...

what about a spoof off J-Lo? like Lana J?

Where Romance Meets Therapy

MG Higgins said...

Um ... Eljozo. L-Jozo?

Michelle McLean said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh holy crap too hilarious. And I'm loving my name :D

Triple M Stack iz out! Fo sho! Peace! LOL

Tana said...

I like suzzette's! E shizzle that's so... you?

Katie Salidas said...

No suggestions here, but I am loving the names you've shown us. LoL

Michelle Walkenhorst said...

Yo yo yo Widdy J, I's ROFLMAO!

You're so witty!!

Katie Ganshert said...

Office Space = Halarious. So of course I love the picture.

I like the izzle you got going for Suzzette.

So maybe...El-jizzle to the Jay-hizzle.

Yo, El-jizzle to the Jay-hizzle, what's up in the house, girl?

That's got a lot of syllable-age going on though.

Joshua McCune said...

L'il Johnson ;)

Danyelle L. said...


This is awesome! I have a confession to make: I have no idea what a "Gangsta" name should even sound like. :$

L.T. Elliot said...

I love the pic too. Great movie! I'm crap with nicknames but I love the idea that you have Gangsta nicknames. ;)

Roni Loren said...

I think you should go with E-jamma

Tess said...

I'm sitting here racking my brain

but can't think of anything

man, you DO have a hard name to gangsta-ize

Suzette Saxton said...

Oh my gosh, I'm laughing so hard! This was such a funny thing to find in my inbox.

Thanks, E-Jamma!

- Z Shizzle

Unknown said...

I'm thinking "The Smashster" since you love tennis so much. Or maybe just L'il E. You know, something simple.

The sad thing is now I'm trying to figure out my own Gangsta name. :)

Jenn Adams said...

Ooh, I like Lil'E. Nice. I was gonna suggest E-Jo. Yo, E-Jo. How's it hangin' in the hood, sista?

Eric said...

Absolutely hilarious. I don't know how I missed this post when it first came out, but I'm glad I found it now. I am still rolling, thinking about you and other writer friends in gold chains, baggy pants, and tossin up signs.

I love that movie, particularly since my work life is often reminiscient of it. Great scene too.

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