See why I like this? I mean, kissing. Ahem.
So here's a scene from a novel I wrote this year. It's called Dying to Live. And see this girl, she can feel death. Usually hers. But this time, she thinks it's her "boyfriend's" (they're really just Servant partners masquerading as a couple) turn to kick it. So she's been bawling. And now she's in the bathroom with her bf's "sister."
A knock at the door has us both jumping. She throws me a glance before opening it.
Blake stands in the hall, a dark storm cloud I want to wrap my arms around. “Hey, Cheryl. When did you get here?” He looks at Nora—right in her eyes.
“Just a few minutes ago. Nora was helping me with my makeup. How do I look?”
Blake hesitates, still watching Nora. She’s stuffing jars of makeup in a black case and won’t meet his eye.
“You look beautiful,” he finally says. He reaches toward me and I gladly slip my fingers between his. He plants a kiss on my temple. “Are you ready?” He studies me closer. “Have you been crying?”
The answer to both questions is yes, but I don’t want to say it.
“Nora, I need to talk to Cheryl for a minute. Tell Mom we’ll be right there, will you?”
“Don’t take too long. She’s freaking that we haven’t left yet.”
“You’re the one camped out in the bathroom doing your makeup.”
Nora flounces down the hall without a reply. Blake pulls me into his bedroom. I’ve been in here a lot, so it’s nothing romantic or anything. His bed is made. His clothes are hung neatly in the closet. The desk practically has chalk outlines for where things belong. Mr. Organized.
“So tell me why you’ve been crying.” He hasn’t let go of my hand yet.
“Just something with my host family,” I say, trying to shrug it off.
He waits for more. He’s not going to get it.
“I can read the report when I file it,” he threatens.
“Okay.” If he knows about the looming appointment with my dad, he doesn’t spill. If he knows how much I want to kiss him, he doesn’t let it show on his face. “Let’s just go, okay? I don’t want your mom mad at me.”
“Can you still feel it?” he asks, his mouth barely moving.
In a bold gesture, I run my finger up his forearm, imagining I can feel the thin scars from his past life. I clasp my hands behind his neck at the same time he puts his hands on my waist. This is how we danced at Homecoming last week. This is how I always want him to hold me.
“Yeah, I can still feel it. It’s stronger here. It’s so loud. I’m…”
“What?”
“Scared.”
He pauses, and we’re breathing the same air again. In and out, in and out.
“I’ll protect you,” he says.
I want to tell him that it’s not me, it’s him, but I don’t have the chance.
Because he’s closing the distance between us and then we’re kissing kissing kissing.
I hope you participate! If you do, leave me a link so I can go read your mistletoe-inspired post on Kissing Day!
43 comments:
Kissing day....Kissing day...No one told me it was kissing day...Hmmmm
BTW - nice post!
YEP--I did it too! Love your scene AND the premise of the story--very cretive you are!!
Nicely done :) Love it!
It's Mad Libs Results day today, so I'm not sure if I'll participate or not. But we'll see :)
wwoooooo fun!! I like the tension.
This makes me so curious about the rest of the story!!
Shelley
Oh that sounds so great! I am dying to know more about your story! I love the way you write. :)
I'm all over kissing day. How fun is this? Mine is up: http://wordplayswordplay.blogspot.com/
Fun! I linked your post over at my blog. I think I got all the other posts, but I'm not sure.
Ah, kissing scenes. So much fun to write! ;)
Oh wow that was fun! I think you novel really sounds like it rocks. Very cool premiss.
I am just Loving Kissing blogfest! Great scene :)
Love your excerpt! Kissing scenes are so much fun to write. Here's my link link for kissing day. :)
That's a great scene, Elana.
I love that last line! Love it!
Here's my link!
Ah, the beauty of romance. Love it.
And BTW, my word verification? SICKO.
Yeah. Mistletoe day makes me happy. I'm glad you decided to participate in it. :]
That scene sounds great.
It didn't take me but a moment to locate a kissing scene to post at my blog. :-)
Happy Official Kissing Day!
Pam
There's so many things in here to torture me! I want to know more! Past lives, scars, still feeling strange feelings. Ooh. You torment well, Elana.
Everyone saw me kissing him deeply at that party, but I kept kissing and being kissed.
Wow, I love the twist that it's his death, not hers. Great lead-up to the kiss!
Great scene! I'm loving all this kissy face on the blogs today :)
I write MG, usually with boy main characters who are about 9 or 10. These readers strongly disapprove of kissing. Maybe I should do a YA so I can write some kissy scenes!
Hey, Elana! This was great! Thanks for sharing it!
I don't write a lot of romance, so I couldn't really participate. But I loved reading everyone's posts. They were great!
Have a Merry Christmas!
Very intriguing story twist! This is one juicy kissing scene.
Awesome scene!Such an interesting twist! Bravo!
Smoochy, smoochy! Great scene, Elena!
That's an awesome scene - if I can scrounge out some time, I'll post one later on today :) (Big if...)
Great job building up the tension. It makes the last line very satisfying. kissing, kissing, kissing. Yes! :)
Love it, Elana! Yum! :)
I'm so glad you alerted us that it was Kissing Day! My favorite scenes to write! Here's mine:
http://lizzymason.blogspot.com/2009/12/kissing-day.html
Very nice scene - I want to know more about your story. Sounds intriguing. You're welcome to check out mine. I wrote it this morning. First time I wrote a kissing scene.
Kind of confusing but I like the ending. Would love to read more!
My scene is on my blog.
There are so many days that I'm not aware exists... thanks for the information, your scene looks great.
Here's mine: http://justifiedlunacy.blogspot.com/2009/12/official-kissing-day.html
I can't believe we missed kissing day. Love your excerpt. The finger up the forearm gives me chills.
I thought every day was Kissing Day! ;)
My scene is here: http://ulbrichalmazan.blogspot.com/2009/12/kiss-and-tell.html
Beautiful! Just like you. :)
I love this scene! I really want to read more:)
Mine's up at mehlane.blogspot.com
Everyday should be kissing day, right? Right. Going to read the linkage.
Oooh, Elana!
I loved it! I loved it! I just love writing kissing scenes. *sigh...
Your turn! Come over to my blog and read mine and let me know what you think!
PS--Merry Christmas! ;)
Oh, freaking heck, that was pure awesomeness! "...a dark storm cloud I want to wrap my arms around..." Wow. Just wow.
I loved it! Great writing! Especially liked "breathing the same air" and the "dark storm cloud I want to wrap my arms around". Definitely sigh-worthy!
Great kiss!
Here's the link to mine. Plus I've included a link to a recent discussion on Absolute Write about the YA kiss.
way cool premise. way fun kiss! thanks for sharing! you can read mine here.
jeannie
The Character Therapist
I love the repetition at the end of this scene! Thanks for sharing!
Kissing, Kissing, Kissing...love it, love it, love it!
Ooh! i love this scene. Very good and tension-filled. I was totally there with them...
Jenni James
I love the intensity after he asks if she can still feel it. Great read and intriguing scene! (it's taken me a long time to get through all the posts, but they are so much fun).
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