Thursday, September 24, 2009


It has come to my attention that a secret has been spilled about me. So in an attempt to thwart such thoughts as "Elana is deep," I bring you today's blog post, courtesy of my better half (AKA, Mr. J.).

My husband teaches sixth grade. Trust me, you'd want to be twelve again just to be in his class. He is that funny, witty, good. Anyway, so last week he was teaching his kids how to summarize. They had read this article about BATS. When he first modeled writing, he accidentally wrote BUTS. Then he changed it and moved on with his life.

But the kids did not.

Oh, no. Kids don't move on from buts very easily.

They kept laughing and finally Mr. J was like, "What's so funny?"

And the kids go, "We keep thinking of 'but' instead of 'bat'."

So Mr. J did what any self-respecting sixth-grade teacher would do. He changed all the "bats" to "buts." And then they read the summary out loud.

Here's the summary in its entirety.


Buts can seem very scary. In fact, many people are afraid of buts. But after reading Merlin D. Tuttle’s article, “But Man” I’ve realized that buts are actually smart, amazing creatures.

There are all types of buts; however, they are all mammals, and they all have wings. Some buts have suckers on their feet. Some are small, but others are very large. As you can see, buts are all very different from each other.

Buts eat a variety food. Some eat fruit and nectar. Others seeds and plants. They are not picky eaters. Many buts are carnivores, eating lizards, rodents, birds, and even other buts.

In order to get their food, buts use all kinds of hunting techniques. Most buts use echolocation. They use sound to locate food. Others use sight and smell to locate their prey. One kind of but even hunts on the ground. The frog-eating but can tell whether a frog is poisonous just by listening to its sound.

Buts can live in a variety of places. They can make their own homes from leaves or from burrowing in logs and trees. Many buts live in caves.

Mr. Tuttle and But Conservation International (BCI) have helped people see that buts are not scary creatures. Now, people even come from all over the world to see the buts in Austin Texas where BCI is located. They have done a great job telling the truth about buts.

See why you want to be in sixth grade again?? (Me = ROTFL) My favorite part is where the buts eat other buts. Can't...stop...laughing...

Do you have a funny story to share? Lay it on me! I need a good laugh.


Christine Fonseca said...

Bwahahahaha...Thanks for an awesome laugh this morning!

Unknown said...

I'm still laughing at my three year old's comment that eating bad seeds would make trees grow out of his back. Does that count? ;)

Thanks for sharing such a funny story! It was great!

Lisa Aldin said...

HA! Classic! I didn't have teachers like that in 6th grade. But then again, my 6th grade teacher was a nun. Can't imagine her doing that.

Unknown said...

This is fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!

funny story? Sure! I have three kids, we are littered with them. Most recent one:

Our baby (3 yrs) still likes to sleep with us. So I was cold the other night and she was kicking off the blankets. She kept crying and I was explaining to her she would have to go into her own bed, because I was cold and it was MY bed and I was wearing a nightgown and needed a blanket.

So she stops her hysterics and calmly says: "Well, put some pants on then."


Unknown said...

He he he! I don't have anything to rival "But Man"

Scott said...

LOL. Too funny. Thanks.

As for humor . . . hmmmm . . .

My sister had hair down to her bat (sorry, couldn't resist) for many, many years, even after she had children. Finally, she decided she needed a change and cut her hair to shoulder length. Well, one night, she and her two boys (6 & 3 - I think) were looking at old pictures and her 3 year old looks at a picture of her with long hair, and then at her and says "Mom, you used to have hair down to your b@ll$!"

My sister had to leave the room she was laughing so hard. Ah, the memories we bring up at family reunions now that said nephew is 22.


Eric said...

Elana, this is hilarious. I like his idea though to go with it rather than attempt to quell the rising tide (which would have ended in failure). I like the part about "Some are small, but others are very large". Awesome fun for a Thursday. Thanks for sharing.

Rebecca Knight said...

HAAHAHA! Your husband rocks :).

L. T. Host said...

Thanks Mr. J, I needed a laugh... and thanks for sharing it with us, Elana :)

Corey Schwartz said...

Ha! Love it!

When is Mr J starting his own blog? :)

Loretta Nyhan said...

I'm seriously giggling like a sixth grader--great post!

Sherry Dale Rogers said...

That was freakin funny. My but can't stop laughing. I really like the part about people come from all over to see the buts in Austin. lmao

Ashley said...

Thanks! I needed some levity today. I have a funny word confusion story thanks to my little sis.

One day my sister and I were walking around in the woods with our dad. Sister had just turned four and she tended to get her animals confused. A squirrel ran across the road in front of us. Sister pointed and shouted, "Look at that muscadine running across the road!" After Dad and I stopped laughing, we explained to her that a muscadine is a berry, not to be confused with a porcupine, which is also not the same thing as a squirrel.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

I can't stop laughing! I wish I'd had a teacher cool as that. I bet those kids will never forget what they learned about the but-bats.

Michelle Walkenhorst said...

That was ri-freakin-diculously hilarious!!

I love my Mr. W's made up words.

Kathryn Hupp-Harris said...


I keep hearing the theme song to the cartoon.

Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Butman!

Katie Salidas said...

Ah ha ha ha ha. Thats great!

Jessica Nelson said...

"There are all types of buts; Some are small, but others are very large"


Sounds like you have a wonderful husband. :-)

MG Higgins said...

This is so funny. Hooray for your husband for not thinking like a "teacher."

Katie Ganshert said...

That is great! I love teachers like this. Ones that can have fun. On a less funny, more awkward note, I was reading answers out loud to students, and instead of saying, number six, I said number sex. All my ten and a eleven year olds didn't know what to do with themselves...they sort of know what sex is, but not really. Can we say....awkward.

ND_Green said...

Ha, the bat/but story really cracked me up. Thanks for the laugh. I wish I had a funny story for you--I'll put in an IOU on that.

In the meantime... I've nominated you for a Kreativ Blogger over on my blog. Pop over there and have a look when you get a chance if you'd like.

Ryan S. Kinsgrove said...


So, my funny post is also about word confusion and it didn't actually happen to me. My wife is deaf in one ear, and has always had problems sounding out words because of this (funny condition for an English teacher huh?). Well, when she was about eight she was watching Star Trek Next Gen with her big sis, and one of the guys on the screen was a Klingon.

She looked at her big sister and said: "Missy is that guy a crouton?"

Missy looks at her and replies: "Yes, and the guy beside him is a bacon bit."

Needless to say, she has never lived that one down:)

L.T. Elliot said...

Ah, to be young again and delight in the simple joy of a silly misplaced word. =] (And that's my fav. part too!)

Windy said...

I started reading this. The preface, before the actual summary. Was amused and started reading out loud to the husband. I got half-way through sentence 2 and I was laughing so hard, I was crying and couldn't read anymore.

So then he decided to come up here and read it aloud for us. And he was ROTFL too!

Wow. My stomach still hurts. Gotta go wipe away my tears of laughter now . . . while some buts eat other buts.

Thank you, Mr. J for introducing us to But Man. You have forever changed our lives.

P.S. it was good seeing you today!

ali cross said...

ROFL Elana!

I loved this part: Some are small, but others are very large. As you can see, buts are all very different from each other.

How very cool of your hubby to roll along with the kids. He rocks :) And yes, yes, I want to be in sixth grade again--as long as I could be in Mr. J's class!

Bish Denham said...

Oh! My sides ache. That is just too funny. What a great teacher your husband is. For the rest of their lives those 6th graders will remember the day they learned about buts.

Wonderful, simply wonderful

Suzette Saxton said...

To be in your husband's class, I WOULD go back to being twelve again!

Unknown said...

Too Funny! Boy, if my teachers had been like that, I wouldn't have cut classes.

Jan Markley said...

I have a funny story on my blog. It's the blog posting Galley ho and my What's-it-script.' It's about when my young niece gave me some advice and told me how to get my 'what's-it-script' published.

I've also posted my book cover!

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